Naughty Or Nice
By David Wygant
‘Tis the season to be horny
Fa la la la la . . . ooh la la la
During my last weekend bootcamp, a guy wanted to know if there is a fun way to immediately start talking about sex with a woman. No, he was not asking how to have sex right away. He wanted to know how to create some playful banter and a memorable conversation.
So we went to Longs Drugs and bought Christmas stockings that we filled with candy canes, Pez dispensers and a few draedels for the Jewish women. We then headed out to Beverly Hills where we did an exercise called “Naughty Or Nice.”
In this exercise, you go out with a friend and walk around either on the streets or in a mall (depending on what the weather is like where you live). One of you is Santa and wears a Santa cap. The other one is Santa’s Helper and carries the goody bag.
Then as you walk through the streets or through the mall, you have a smile on your face and you’re playful. Women will start to notice you . . . after all, it’s not every day two grown men are walking around with a Santa cap and a stocking.
When a woman sees you, smile at her and tell her to “come here.” Women are very curious, and most will walk over to you. When one does, the one with the Santa cap will look directly in her eyes and ask her whether she was naughty or nice this year. If she confesses which one she was, she gets a present out of Santa’s Helper’s stocking.
Half of them will say they have been naughty. If a woman says she’s been naughty, then you have to ask her how naughty she has been this year. If a woman says she has been nice, then tell her “Great. I love good girls.”
It’s about being playful and having fun. Women crave conversation starters that are real, natural and something they have really never heard.
Not only that, but doing something like this show that you have a personality and a sense of humor. It also shows that you can be very playful, and being playful is part of any successful flirting.
Women love playful, fun and witty banter. All the guys who used this technique had a blast with it.
The holiday time is a good time to be a little more naughty because everybody wants to hang out with Bad Santa. Oops . . . that’s a Billy Bob movie.
So go to the mall, grab yourself a stocking, and find yourself some naughty or nice girls.
Todays video is all about how to understand how womens emotions can lead to the bedroom during the holidays.
A must for any male who does not desire to sleep alone on Christmas Eve.
“Tis the season to be horny
Fa la la la la . . . ooh la la la” LOL Great DAVID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, this is a year round song version isn’t it?
Mmmm(everybody on key? Good lets sing..;)
You better watch out,
Your not gonna cry,
Sexy little pout I’m tellin you why,
Santa Clause is cumming (or going) to townnnn.
Hes with you when your sleeping,
You feel when he awakes;
You know when you have done him good’
Cause his body moans and shakes;
OMG! LOL What have I done? I have corrupted a favorite song of the season,
)))))))
OR
I just had to cum up with the adult version?
What is about the name “HITCH” and the bad santa? I know another “HITCH” promoting..Bad Santa..hmmmmm interesting concept.
Holidays are to me, a fun time to people watch, observe closely, and move in when the unction to do so hits me:)
I love to randomly talk to people..guys and gals—-mostly guys ok?? I AM a woman…and a WOMAN I am:)))))
10 times out of 10, people are responsive basically because—you give them no choice! lol
Kidding—if someone is obviously turtled up to talking, you will know when to stifle and scram!!
I think the Santa and santas helper is very creative.
Ladies, we could go as Santas sexy smiling assistants with our bag of goodies or a decorative festive pen–you know the kind with the furry cute hat at the end? with a little notebook for “santas forgotten” as well
We can smile, say come here for a minute with the eyes batting a bit and the little shoulder shrug with the little “come here finger gesture” (Yes, It is called FLIRTING)and tell him “hi I’m santas assistant___(Your name) what is your name ?, as you KINDLY shake his hand, looking directly into his eyes and do the fingertip drag across the palm. Once you get his name, look at your little list and look him in the eyes and tell him, “Hmmm I don’t see your name on Santas list, so what is it you desire for Christmas?” Still smiling ladies, with cutsie pen and paper prop ready
There is something about the word “desire” that surpasses the word “want.”
Now if you are really bold, ask him, “So, what are your wanton desires for Christmas?” LOLLLL
Hey the word “want” and “desire” incorporated together in one sentence? Yes I am serious!!!!!!
I’ll let you know how it works because I make fun happen! LOL You have to let loose and have fun in this life. Maybe I am making up for lost time? I don’t know, but it sure seems to make me laugh and smile. These are 2 of my favorite emotions;))))))))))))))) Ladies——I dare ya–be bold!Be sexxyyyyyyyyyyyyy;)
Great post Joan!!!!
On the first day of christmas my booty call gave to me……
go ahead fill that one in.
Oh David;
You brave man you;))
On the first day of christmas my booty call gave to me
Joan
I dont give my booty calls vibrators.
I give them on the second day of christmas unlimited day of oral sex…….
Your turn
onnnnnnnnnnn,
The third day of Christmas my booty call gave to me…..
The hottest kiss so passionately:) (Now thats better..;)
DAVID;
Your evens…Four!
Gosh, does it have to be a booty call??
Seems so tawdry…………….how about “my new friend gave to me?” lol
I am laughing because in proof reading ,”friend” said “fiend”….That would be worse than botty call!
A fiend comes with nothing good to offer as far as I know.
On the fourth day of christmas my true love gave to me.
One golden triangle….ok she dyed her pubes but thats all I could come up with on such short notice.
Your turn
Lollll OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! How can I top that one David????
On the fith day of christmas my true love gave to me…..
A blind fold so I couldn’t see
) ) ) (Its dark in here…lol
Ok i am a bit blinded by the dang golden triangle comment and thought about folding here, but hey, we’re on a roll so
Your turn Daddio
Oy Vey! I am ever so glad I’m not at work today….
For $2.50 this year I’m gonna make a lot of people happy.
I’d like to reword that song just a bit….Can’t it be my true Loves gave to me? I mean why limit yourself to just one?
Joan you and your fingernail dragging….Maybe one day, I’ll manage the courage to do it. Yall will be the first ones to know…
Just watched the vlog…..Nice David.
Emotional tampon! I’m gonna have to keep that one in mind….LMBO!
Joan had to go get lunch.
On the 6th day of christmas my booty call gave to me.
One hour tantric massage all focused on my taint.
Lets see if you know what the taint is you naughty dirty girl you:)
And Bertie…..were you naughty or nice this year?
Day, vid!
I was quite nicely naughty. Or so he said.
Bertie:
LOL “…Can
Now Bertie that is what David Claus wanted to hear.
I will be at the mall on Sunday dressed as Santa would you like to come by and sit on my lap:)
Dammit David! Twice in one week! (blushing) Yes I do know what a taint is.
David;
uhummmm…yes well lets just say this “taint” the place but it sure does hit the “spot” doesn’t it? Now had we had that seminar?? Everyone would have been “tainted” lol
Onnnnnnnn the ..what day is it..I just “taint” thinking right for some reason LOLL
Oh yes;
The seventh day of Christmas my true love gladly gave to me;
7 touches sensuously (Whole new meaning to “7 wonders” of my world–and that “taint” no lie;))
Bertie good to know that you know what the taint is.
I had a friend one time who got really drunk and we went to a party that had about 50 midget circus performers and he spent the whole night walking around saying.
SNiff my taint!!!
It was quite a show…..this was about 20 years ago and that type of humor was really funny back then.
Oh “Santa D”
Its your turn….you threw my brain off kilter and “tainted” my thought process
Lucky #8:))))))))
On the 8th day of christmas my true booty call gave to me.
8 minute foot massage.
Not what you thought huh Joan.
Its not all about the taint now is it?
Santa D;
Did you get stumped ..or you “taint” gonna finish this here song? lol
8 is the number, so now don’t you slumber
After a full night of party hounding, a taint could get awfully stinky….Its never nice to invite someone over to a stinky place.
I love the mall David and your lap looks so inviting….
But, what I want to know is do you have nice feet?
No David..it “taint.” But from head to toe, I would say that is a where you can make a man feel very ummmmmmm “tainted.;)
NOW, that is a private pratice move. That goes beyond the “happy ending.”
On the ninth day of christmas my hot man gave to me;
Fireplace and candles and a soft rug with pillows galore
(hey it was a package deal;))))
Joan,
Well even if the nail dragging thing didn’t uh make me wanna blush, in the spirit of not giving anyone any germs the hospital made a policy. No artificial nails, no long nails, and no nail polish. With all the handwashing I do, and not being able to wear polish, my poor nails break off if they get too far beyond the tips of my fingers. So the nail drag thing is going to have to be well thought out, or I’m going to need a new profession…..
Bertie
My feet are very nice but they can also be very naughty:)
Joan
On the 10th day of christmas my true booty call gave to me.
10 minutes of sports center without even a peep from her:)
A man can only dream.
Bertie;
Thats ok. No need for a new profession:) lol
Hey, feather light touch with your fingertips works just as wel, maybe better because it is skin to skin.
As long as you slighlty graze the center of his palm slowly and lightly, hes going to feel that;)) So uhummm no excuses now…..;))))
Ladies
Are we talking feather light stroking on the taint?
LOL Baby when sports center is on at my house I..I better not hear a peep (depending on who is playing;)
onnnnnnnn the 11th day of Christmas my sexy hot man gave to me;
My hands full access to his body (and my lips too)
Last but not least David—-drum roll please——#12
Ummmmmm No——– the taint—taint gonna feel much with feather light touches.
It must be handled in a most special firmly tender manner:)
David,
Just how naughty are those feet of yours?
Joan,
No excuses! The very next one I meet….(Chanting: Bertie be Brave!)
Now its my understanding that a man likes a firmer taint touch….
On the 12th day of you know what my true sex slave gave to me.
12 more days:)
Bertie
My feet are very adapt at playing………use the imagination now
DAY,vid!
Now that was naughty! I’m not sure you’re ready for my imagination…..I know it gets me in a lot of trouble….
Lets hear about this imagination
By the way great conference call last night one of the best ones.
Sooooooo;
12-!2 more days!!!! Wow
11-hands a traveling
10-minutes of sports and silence
9-Romance with fire (hey thats the package deal)
8-sensuous foot massage
7-7 sensuous touches
6-Tantric taint masage
5-Blinding blindfold
4-Golden Triangle Uhhummmmm
3-Hot passionate kissssss
2-Oral pleasures unlimited
1-Vibe a vibin
12 more days????? Welll Merry merry christmas and to all a good night! You got enough to go until next year with that one
Good one David…like that 12th day out of all of em…well close tie anyway;))))))))
Can you say stuff like that on the internet? My mind occasionally needs Clorox.
Dammit! I tried to sneak out of the ER at six, but those fiends wouldn’t let me go. Yesterday’s Xmas present to Bertie was one drug seeker, several n,v, & ds, and one OD. You did get it recorded didn’t you? I hate missing out.
Bertie
you can say whatever you want on the internet this is my site and i dont edit a thing:)
i did record the call so dial in and enjoy it
Joan
Good one but i did win….I am a closer!!!
Well hey! I just absorbed and sang the whole song?
It is very “touching!” lol
A whole lot of touching so how much better could christmas get?
If you take note——It was all free—free of charge and freely given. Best kind of gifts to give in my opinion.
NO, I am not a cheapskate—-I just think giving of yourself means something—–
It is a priceless gift you give when it is of and from you.
David;
Yes you are a winner:)
Very fun day for me ,bouncing back and forth between my work and play:)
Me too
Been working on a new page for the site so this has been a fun diversion.
2 new products coming out in the next 2 weeks!!!
David;
LOL Ok delayed brain waves. I still “taint” in my right mind, only whats left..lol
Yes you ARE a CLOSER………lol Good one
Damn, you are good today!!;)
It has been a fun day, but I think I’d better nap. The boss hasn’t called me for a flight yet. I feel another of those call Bertie at two am with trauma flight coming on. Not a peep from the phone today…..I’m beginning to think they like me when I’m stuporous.
Hey before I go,
Hold the phone!!
David,
where is the “dial in?” I wanna hear
Bertie;
Yes, be brave Bertie be brave;))
I am going to be looking for that hand grazing comment:)))))) Have fun girl. You only live once.
1/2 of mine was crap, so damn skippy baby as Paula Cole says in her NASTY song “Feeling Love”——I am gonna have some fun—–cause
Girls just wanna have fu-un yeah girls just wanna have fun
(Thats all the really waaaaant——-LOL;))
OMG!!! SANTA D!
While I was away from my computer for no more than six hours, they created this new blog personality! And I missed all of this!
I think SANTA D is a wonderful idea! Thank you, Joan!
With SANTA D all single people all over the world would know exactly what to do: make a wish, tell it to SANTA D and everything will be OK. Like magic….Bootcamp is optional!
We can also start writing letters to SANTA D!
I know exactly what I would write in my letter! How about you?
well well well, my favorite thing….dearranging christmas songs..
well how about a couple of dirty christmass limericks aye?
two more i’m on a roll!, I like this one LMFAO!!!!!!!
I don
JOE:
OMG!!!! LOL What came over you tonight?—I like the “Holiday cheer.” Laugh a limerick or laugh a limerlick?!OR laugh a limperdick! LMBO
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH Don’t get me started! lol There are great dirty dangers in doing dat! LOL
Jessica:
LOL Ok whatca gonna tell Santa D while you sit on his lap? OR it it and unspoken gesture?? LOL
Hey JOE:
How do you make the tongue stick out of your smiley face??
I want that one and do you know how to make one with rolly eyes in its head? LOL
I am serious!
I am not asking how you are because I see your writing skills are not lacking neiter your sense of humor.
As long as the latter of the two in in tact——-all else seems to flow just fune.
Jessica;
I think with this Santa—D option IS boot camp for singles in trouble and don’t know how to talk, look and listen—not necessarily inthat order.
Hey David:
I think you should hire me as a womans trainer—I think I could handle the position?! LOL No—I KNOW I could;))
Joan,
I am writing my letter to Santa. Already wrote half a page. I will let you and Bertie to read it and then I am going to send it to Santa!
Oh, Joe! I love a good limerick, but the Santa Claus thing brought back scary-ass memories of the time my ex got caught up in in his swinging fantasy, interestingly enough, shortly after we got internet. He dragged me outta the house to meet this other couple he met on a website, and I swear this woman’s hubby was Father Christmas! Of course my ex saw nothing wrong with this….I remember saying, oh yeah he was very attractive if you’re into jolly old St Nick. There is no way to tactfully tell a man you’re not going to fulfill his fantasy with a man three times your age and about four times your size.
Joan,
You already are a womans trainer! You know everybody on this blog, everyone is writing to you E-mails!
Do you need a title? We can create a title for you. How about – Director of Santa Baby Special Services!
This conversation went some interesting places as always.
Nice lymrics Joe. Enjoyed the banter:)
Why, yes it did! I can’t believe I told that story…
I’ve never even told Ronda about that….
Now you know I am one Naughty nasty Santa Bob.
I am all about taking my Mrs Claus over my knee and spanking her till she tells me every damm nasty naughty thought that is in her head.
That is how we celebrate the holiday’s in Dr Bobs lair.
i hate to break it to you guys/gals but these are not my limericks i found on a website, i thought they be quite jolly since you were dirty up christmas carols lol i hope you enjoy them regardless.
Bertie, i used to hang around with a couple of swinging couples, i respect it, but it’s not my cup of tea, ” i’m a one woman man,baby!” as austion power said so i can understand were you’re coming from.
cheers,
Joe
Well Joe, I suppose I would have had a lot more fun with it had I been into the concept and had picked out the couples myself, but what happened is I ended up being a bitch because I never really had any connection with these people. Most of the men I was expected to play with were old enough to be my parent because the ex was doing all the choosing. So I really only have myself to blame for that one. I rather like the concept of serial monogamy, but I see how the swinging thing works in a well grounded couple. They have rules and they don’t break them so theoretically it could work. Its the polyamoury that I don’t get. Supposedly everyone lives together and loves everyone as a spouse, but I can’t seem to get my mind wrapped around that concept. I love lots of people, but I appreciate them differently. I’ve had three great loves in my life-not all at the same time, but they were very different men and I was a different person each time or maybe it was just a very different developmental stage. Either way I’ve evolved and thats a good thing……
As far as Austin is concerned…..very Shagadellic baby! Yeah!
Have you ever seen Mike Meyers in So I Married An Axe Murderer?
yes, i like that movie. Bertie i know how the swinging crowd moves, the rules etc…just i’m not into it. evolution is good for the species bertie, changing and developing is good for the spirit. your beauty says it all.
cheers,
Joe
Thank you Joe!
Wow…this looks great…EXPRESSION man
Hmmmmm, how did i land on this blog? Yes, yes, via that 10-point dating articlee on yahoo.com
Just been going thru the blog, just cant believe what u guys are saying…Quite funny. U have made my evening..
U know David, something silly just cropped up in my mind. How would a threesome between YOU, JOAN and BERTIE be like….Heee, before u scald me, i respect the three of u but all sound explicitly open about sex, love and u know those things which good boys dont discuss..
Thanks for the blog, gonna be a daily visitor. Hopefully i will spice up my life and date a cute belgian babe up here. Im a black guy amongst white babes so i despeartely need your tips…
LOvely day.
Joseph..Ghent.
Hey Joseph
Welcome and i spent some time in Belgium…love BRussels!!!
Joseph,
Hello. While I have been known to be like a candy cane, sweet and twisted, there are somethings I don’t do.
LOu Bega;
That thought of the threesome that cropped up in your mind? Do you own a crop duster?
Good get to work on dusting that “crop” right out of your head…….I don’t do threesomes. Never has been a desire of mine and at 46 I don’t see my mind changing on that.
I am a one on one strictly……and that has to be a very special one at that:)