For those of you who watched Tim Tebow lead the Denver Broncos past the New York Jets the other night, it made me think about how much Tebow-mania is just like pickup mania.
Now you may be thinking to yourself, How can Tim Tebow be anything like meeting women?
Let’s go back to the game and rewind just a little bit. The Jets found a way to beat Tim Tebow. I think they had eight three in outs on the Broncos. The Broncos couldn’t move. Tebow couldn’t run.
Tebow throws like a girl, I’ve never seen passes like that in the NFL. All his passes seemed to go absolutely nowhere but down to the ground or towards the stands.
But at the end of the game, the Jets became just like most guys are when it comes down to dating. They went into what is called the Prevent defense. And all the Prevent defense ever does in football is prevent you from winning.
I’ve seen it 1,000s of times. A team plays great defense for 55 minutes of the game, they give up no touchdowns at all. Then all of a sudden the quarterback, who’s been having a horrible game, will drive the team down the field and win the game. Because the defense that worked for 55 minutes is abandoned. Then the team is losing, and stays in Prevent defense mode, which of course, prevents them from winning.
I never understood why coaches do that, and I never understood why guys go into the Prevent defense when trying to go out and meet women.
Instead of trusting a new game plan, instead of going into attack mode, instead of going out and meeting women all day long, all guys seem to do (especially on a Friday or Saturday night) is go into Prevent defense mode. They think that just because they’re out on the playing field on a Friday night, that things are magically going to happen for them. That they will stumble across a win, stumble across a beautiful woman.
So what do they do? They wait, they kick back, stand around the room looking at everyone in Prevent defense mode. They wait for the right opportunity. They never go and approach. They’re playing it safe. Sure, they may be preventing themselves from getting rejected, but while they’re doing that, every other guy is swooping in ahead of them and talking to the women that they want to talk to.
The only way to meet the kind of women you want is to come up with a definitive game plan, a game plan that’s going to work, a game plan that’s aggressive and moves you forward. You’ve got to ditch the game plan you’ve had up until now, the game plan where you’re playing it safe.
Here’s the deal, guys. The year is almost over. You’re heading into the home stretch of the year, you’re heading into the final six weeks of the year. Do you have a definitive game plan? Or are you a guy who curls up and goes into Prevent mode? Are you a guy who lets everybody else run around you, advance down the field, walk away with the women that you want and then you’re left at the end of the day, basically being an arm chair quarterback, thinking to yourself, How could I have made this different? How could I have changed the outcome?
There’s no way to change that outcome unless you change the way you think. Unless you go at it aggressively and come up with a game plan that’s going to breathe success. By going out and talking to people openly and passionately all day long, you’re going to start leading people and you’re not going to let people walk all over you when the weekend hits and it comes down to Friday-Saturday night crunch time.
For those of you who are serious about meeting women this holiday time, if you’re sick of being single over the holidays, I’ve come up with a whole game plan for you to check out.
RIGHT NOW is by far the best time of the year to meet women. Why? Women are emotionally drained, emotionally looking to connect, looking to share the holidays with someone. It’s holiday time. They’re in holiday mode, shopping, out having fun and enjoying themselves.
They’re connecting with old friends. They’re available. They’re not going to make up the fake boyfriend. I explain to you why, I talk about all of this and much more in my gameplan on how to meet women for the holidays.
Not only that, they want to end the year with a bang. The question is, are you going to be the one banging them? Or are you going to be the one standing on the sidelines wondering, waiting, hoping, basically standing in the corner of the bar going into Prevent defense mode over and over again?
Click here to check it out. It’s a must if you want to get down with new women this time of the year.
I don’t see myself being someone who comes up with a plan. I tend to act spontaneously and do things on the spot. The only thing I need to do if I want to meet somebody is to get off my ass and get out of the house. That is all I see myself needing to do besides striking a conversation with somebody because I see people everywhere.
You’ve always got to play to win. When you play to “not lose” you lose.
This happens with women when you don’t put yourself out there. You think too much about the “right” thing to say or do.
It’s defeatist from the get-go. It’s like you know you’re going to lose or you know you’re not going to get the woman so you’re trying to cushion the blow. It’s no way to live.
@David
Just watched your video on the Holidays and do you really think the story about you and your dog home alone with a box of captain crunch is the best approach to meeting women? Seems to me to be kind of a cry for pity with women, and while it may work on the nurturing type that wants to make you feel better but what kind of message is that giving them? You have nothing in your life no friends and no family to share this time of year with. I agree this time of year is great but don’t think I’d try to get dates out of pity. Presenting yourself as a great guy with a magnetic energy and personality that they want to show off to thier friends and family seems better to me.
Ahh., go for the pity invite…
1st class dating advice, that’s what you get here!
Go for what you want by doing what you love doing.
Recently I’ve been going to many air shows. Met allot of awesomen men and women there.
If you like playing guitar, frequent guitar shops. Do what you love doing, that way you come across more powerful and more attractive.
yeah Farley that’s so true. When I’m kinda sad, depressed, what I do is play the Bass, warming with some exercises, trying to play songs by ear. It really pumps me up, and I get in a really good mood!
@KJD: Don’t think he said it seriously, I found it hilarious!!!
KJD
Are you serious.
Pity.
Try it my friend with a smile and being playful and watch the women react and laugh.
Do you take everything literal and overanalyze everything?
I thought you knew me by now
You took each word and got into your head. How much PUA stuff have you studied?
Usually guys who study PUA will get into there heads and analyze everything.
It does not matter what you say its how you own your words and how you say it.
I used that fun approach every year i was single and had great Thanksgiving dates with some amazing women.
Go out with confidence today and try it. Dont doubt me ever:)
That is my challenge to you, lets see if you can get out of your head, have some fun and do that exact approach.
I expect a full report on the blog next week.
@davidwygant,, I watched the video too,, and to be perfectly honest,, it sounded like going for a thanksgiving pity invite to me too.
Sorry.
John
Because that is your mindset. You take everything literal and put yourself in that situation and know that you could not pull it off.
I am in a calling people out on there shit mode today so beware
It was just my analysis of what you said David, I’m not saying it wouldn’t work it probably would. I wouldn’t use that particular approach because it’s not my style and I wouldn’t want to start off dating someone that way (with the implication I don’t have anyone or anything in my life). I’d rather present the real me when meeting someone fun, happy and interesting, no with an ‘oh poor me’ approach even if you were joking. If I saw a girl in the supermarket with the basket full of food I’d be more inclined to go up to her and say something along the lines of “wow looks like you are preparing to feed an army with all that” then go on to talk about cooking dinner for my single friends and myself on the holidays and how I wish I could make a better stuffing for my turkey. I would ask her how her stuffing turns out and ask her about her recipe. If the vibe was feeling right I would then ask her for her number incase I needed so pointers on making my meal turn out to be a great one. I don’t get the pity invite but it’s more my style and build off from there allowing her to know quite a bit about me. (I’m single, I can cook, I look after my friends and open my home to them on the holidays)
I agree what you say doesn’t have to matter but if you are proactive with what you say you can give people an insight to who you are and what your life is like if you choose to. I don’t study pua stuff David but it isn’t rocket science to see the difference between the two approaches. You can control the information that it translated in an interaction without being in your head all the time. I am a little surprised you would infer that I’ve studied a bunch of pua material and am always in my head I don’t think any of my posts would have indicated that that’s the type of guy I am.
I would gladly go out and give it a try to come back with a full report for you but up in Canada our thanksgiving is in October… So without a time machine or a trip down across the border I won’t be getting any thanksgiving invites.
What’s wrong with you poor, dateless,ignorant fools. You should know better than to doubt David. As he says, “Dont doubt me ever”. He is the ultimate guru, omnipotent, master of dating, and wealth of knowledge about women and their behavior!! If he says lay down, roll over, and bark like a dog, while asking for a number, YOU FRICKIN BETTER DO IT, fools!
My mindset?,, what?
“oh, I’m gonna spend thanksgiving at home with my dog and a box of captain crunch..”
“Awww, you poor, sad, lonely bastard!,, come to my families house for thanksgiving,, you can sit at the kid’s table, we’ll throw you some scraps, and you can bring my family drinks during the game. I’ll just tell them I’m taking in a homeless guy if my family asks any questions. ”
….that’s how that goes down. GREAT APPROACH!
LMAO.
Btw,, I’m in a piss Dave off sort of mood today.
Uh oh look what I kicked off today… Going to be an interesting one
@David Wygant: Hey David, if you are a big fan of having Captain Crunch for Thanksgiving, then I would recommend you try this recipe out for this Thanksgiving: Tasy Captain Crunch Turkey Testicles! I am sure you will just love having the craving of wanting to eat this. Check this video out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZQf7lUzu2Q&feature=youtube_gdata_player
KJD
You know what I am all about. Say what your comfortable saying own your words and be playful and fun and you can get away with anything.
I still think you over analyzed the Capn Crunch opener.
I have had women crack up and went to big T day parties telling the story how we met and everyone was laughing, knowing that I was joking around having fun.
I think your missing the point here but I know you get it and I like your way as well.
Thats the whole point, having fun but stop the how she is going to look at me and think of me.
That is the real issue.
When I have fun I dont care what she thinks because I am being true to myself.
The thought of looking as you put it pity never crossed my mind nor did it ever enter there minds.
That is the key part of the lesson here.
So chew on that a bit.
John
“Awww, you poor, sad, lonely bastard!,, come to my families house for thanksgiving,, you can sit at the kid’s table, we’ll throw you some scraps, and you can bring my family drinks during the game. I’ll just tell them I’m taking in a homeless guy if my family asks any questions. ”
Never had that happen…..
But maybe that will happen if you try it
G Daddy
I dont that crap…Capn Crunch was great when I was 12.
That is what made the whole thing funny.
We need to get you guys to the market!
I understand you David but that doesn’t mean I can’t have an opinion different than yours and both of us can still be right.
Consider my way of thinking comparable to chess. Thinking about moves in advance doesn’t mean I can’t be taking action in the present and have fun. Strategy, versatility and adaptability can be great assets. David I’m curious if you’ve had much experience in negotiations. My job requires it and these skills I’m talking about definitely have a correlation. It’s not really a manipulation technique but more controlling conversation and information.
Something for you to chew on as well
Anytime you want to go to the market let me know… I won’t even charge ya for the lessons
KJD
I respected your opinion.
Just getting you to think a bit outside the box.
I am a pro at negotiations. If you ever want to have a conversation I can share some of the business ventures I had in the past that were all about Negotiation.
And every relationship with a woman thrown in and those negotiations can be the toughest:)
By the way Chess bores me to death. Life is all about being in the moment and reacting to what happens at that exact instant.
Saw the video about the holidays, and to be honest it has a 50/50 chance for working for me, if I pull it off right. I don’t have a dog, and I do have friends(Not really friends but co workers) so I don’t know how I could pull it off. should I lie about not having anyone to spend thanksgiving with?
also, are they really going to let a stranger in their house? I get nervous when I meet people I don’t know(it takes a long time for me to open up, ask my co workers lol).
now I’m all for the pity approach, but I thought that you said pity doesn’t get women? if I tell a woman I have no one to spend thanksgiving with, she’ll feel pity for me, and let me have thanksgiving with her family out of pity.
another question, how will it work? so ok, I go to the thanksgiving dinner, eat the food, then what? leave? because I know it’s going to be extremely hard to open up to people I don’t know.
also, if a guy like me does do the approach and have thanksgiving dinner with the woman’s family member as a stranger, do you have to tell alot about yourself as respect, like should I tell them about my background/life?(which I do not want to do, because my background/life is… you know, very tragic) or should I just remain mysterious and not reveal myself/my background?
I need to know everything there is to know about this before I could do this approach and actually have dinner with a woman’s family(who I do not know). I never had a family dinner with anyone elses family, even Maybell when she invited me for thanksgiving years ago I didn’t go.
You know, i don’t see any self-pity in this, I see self-deprecating humour.
How are you guys on self-deprecating humour?
It’s the same clip from last years holiday season. I don’t see what the fuss is all about…You gonna do the same telephone call too? Maybe it’s time for some new material, David. Ya’ think?
@bob,, he should call the site,,,
“Wygant — Reloaded. “,,
Hahahaha,, j/k
Wait,, what’s wrong with Captain Crunch?,, NEVER to old for Captain Crunch. (Especially Peanut Butter Crunch,, mmmmm.)
John, The call is great… He has coach Kim on there tellin’ all the female side a things, and how lonely gals are during the holidays. I spect he will play the tape again this year. I just talked to Kristin, to get her opinion on the holidays, and gettin hit on by guys, and she said guys have walked up and hit on her during black friday, christmas shopping, etc, and they got a cold shoulder, and a go to hell look, cause the last thing she was looking for, was to be hit on while she was trying to grab the sale stuff before they were gone. Her single sister, always goes with her and said the same thing, and practically chopped a guys balls off for bothering her while she was tunnel vision shopping for christmas. Not a good time to hit on women, when they are shopping for the holidays! Plenty of better times, like office parties, bars, and christmas festivals, and such…
@dan,, self deprecating humour is great,, if It’s obvious your joking.
I’ve just been messing around,, but seriously,, when I watched the video,, I thought,, “Did David seriously just recommend going for a PITY INVITE?” I laughed my ass off.
Point is,, David might be able to say the Captain Crunch and dog thing and be obvious that he’s trying to be funny,, but depending on who is saying it,, if not delivered right, a woman might think to herself,, “is this guy seriously trying to get a pity invite to Thanksgiving? Gross. I gotta get out of here.”
It’s all about the delivery.Get what I’m saying?
@bob,, yeah. I’d think the best time to hit on women during the holidays would be finding women who are alone, at bars, and at parties. I know how I am when Christmas shopping. I’m laser focused. I want to just Git R Done.
Unfortunately,, my company has a Big Christmas party,, but the drivers aren’t invited. Nothing for union people,, just office workers. The only thing we get for the holidays,, is more work.
(and a small Christmas bonus. )
John, I get what you’re saying. You’re 100% right, it’s all about delivery.
@John I agree, Captain crunch is always great, no matter how old you are. it’s great when you smash them to make them like bread crumbs, and put it on chicken or turkey as if it’s bread crumbs, Maybell used to make that all the time for lunch.
Bob
New call this year. I like to keep things fresh.
And I have met amazing women during the holidays so Kristen is very wrong
Bob
Different video as well. I love proving you wrong all the time. It so easy to prove you wrong, I expected more of a challenge!
Damn David, I coulda swore it was the same video as last year. Saw you in recent video and your hair was all grey, so assumed it was an old one, from last year, or years back…What gives with that? Hair Dye? LOL And who is gonna be on the call this year? can I partake? An old man and a young chick would make interesting content for your followers to study, ya think?
@Bob, maybe for other people. 5 years younger gets me a girl who’s 17, and for some reason I don’t see much appeal in high school chicks.
You gotta do a post about this weekend of college football… All the unexpected turns, finding ways to lose, lack of execution. Gotta be tons of good analogies there.
@ Bob, i’m not agree with not questioning David, no one knows it all and i will definitively argue with him, but only after i have completed 4-500 love affairs
))
And regarding today topic, beside what have been said already, it is ideal to start with a bold funny light , somehow careless attitude. In fact,it is better to make a girl angry then to leave her with a flat, boring, no personality impression about yourself…:)
@Colin
I would agree with you there. Five years younger will be 21 for me in a couple months. I’m only impressed with women that are younger than me if they can show me that they have some depth.
I really gotta stop going to the bars, I rarely find what I’m looking for there, and if I do it’s just not an environment where I am good at being open.
Warning-
If Baltimore beats Cincinnati today,, I am likely to become completely UNBEARABLE today, to everyone, both inside, and outside, of cyberspace.
You have all been warned.
Max, getting te girl angry instead of beingconsidered boring? Iv’e heard that sentiment before. I dnt agree with the mindset. Often the people who have that really do end up making not just the girl but evryone around them angry.
I’ve drifted away from the mindset of carelessness of one self. Being brash and overconfident can kill a conversation. For me anyway. I end up not listen to the people around me. In fact, I say caring bout how they feel about the things they talk about will connect them to me. I can’t be careless
@John, if Cincinnati can spread out the Ravens’ defense enough to get Benson room to run, and AJ Green’s ankle is good to go, I don’t see why Cincinnati wouldn’t win. I try not to underestimate Baltimore though. Betting against them hasn’t done well for me in the past.
Manny, what do you consider brash and overconfident?
I’ve been enjoying this blog precisely because it steers clear of the usual PUA stuff, and it’s interesting to read about male perspectives on dating that aren’t just aimed at getting into a woman’s pants. The video just seems kind of skeezy, though. The repeated “women are vulnerable!” thing sounds… well, predatory. It’s like hohoho, my prey is weak! Easy pickings!
As a woman, and presumably a member of the ‘prey’ species, it makes me feel like I should be instantly wary. Is this guy hitting on me because it’s the holidays and I’m supposed to be ‘easier’ this time of year? AM I easier this time of year? I guess the latter thought is the more disturbing of the two, that I could be genuinely more open and ‘vulnerable’ towards the end of the year and that there are guys who are deliberately making ‘good’ use of that.
Lady Destiny, what is it about being genuinely more open and “vulnerable” do you find disturbing?
@LadyDestiny, is it really any better to be closed off and uptight? Wouldn’t being open and vulnerable allow you to show your true self more easily? Wouldn’t being authentic lead to a better, deeper connection with a guy?
Just remember…
Men think and Women feel.
@collin, so close,, oh so close.
There is, of course, nothing inherently wrong with being open and vulnerable.
I’m a very friendly person and often strike up conversation with complete strangers everywhere, and I don’t think that being more ‘vulnerable’ around the holidays means that someone was uptight and closed-up before. I was speaking of the context within which those states are perceived and ‘used’, with regards to the video.
For example, I would have no problem being extremely vulnerable around my closest friends, as I know they would treat that state sensitively and react without ulterior motive. It’s like the difference between bleeding around a nurse vs. bleeding into shark-infested waters, the latter of which is the vibe I get from the video.
@John, like I said, I just don’t bet against the Ravens. Oh well, there’s always next week.
Lol,, I just got another note on my door.
Hey cute neighbor,
You seem pretty shy or just not interested. I’m not very sure but whatever it is you can either knock on my door or you can call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx, just ask for Barb!
I think your really cute & p.s. you got the cutest butt on a man I have ever seen. If your interested, get at me!
If not, I just had to tell ya I’m creepin on you. Lol.
So get at me or somethin’ if ya want.
Sincerely,
Barbara Jean
P.s. Don’t be shy!
—————-
WTF! There is a phone number this time,, but it is for a ky area code, so has to be a cell phone, still no idea what apartment number. I don’t know who this person is. I think I have a genuine stalker.
Call it and find out John…
Carpe Diem
You aren’t committed to do anything if you choose not to but you gotta seize the opportunities that life presents to you.
I sent two text messages to the number on the note,,
The first one was ,,
“who IS this? Lol.”
No response,, I sent a second one after that said,,
“Oh,, and I’M the one who’s being shy?,,
”
Still no response. I don’t want to call because I don’t want to get into a drawn out conversation with someone that I have no idea who it is. ( I still think this whole thing might be a joke. ) ,,
Wait KJD,, doesn’t this go against everything taught here?
Am I not the selector?
Am I not the catch.
I am supposed to approach who I want to talk to,, right?
Plus,, I’m still kinda afraid it might be that old lady! Lol.
John
You won’t giving up your ‘power’ by finding out who this person is. You already have the upper hand in the situation because you know their intentions and you get to decide wether this continues past the first meeting. Just like if a woman were to approach you in the bar… You have the choice where it goes from here. Welcome to what a woman experiences everytime a man approaches them
Yeah,, but usually the man doesn’t live next door…
@John, you should put the number into Google or Facebook. You never know what you’ll learn.
Good idea Collin
If she has the number on facebook info you will probably even be able to see some pics John.
@John: I would recommend you do what the person says in the last note and call them. It is time to find out once and for all who this person really is. I think you can brighten up your day by doing this. The more you keep this going, the more it will bug you. Cincinnati already lost the game so what else do you have to lose?
@Manny, of course getting the girls angry is not the target, it may happen while you practice.
And it’s not just a careless state of mind that makes the difference, you also have to add some other important parts like comedy…
I also got an example, let’s say you talk to a girl and you’re stating she’s a lesbian, then she say “hey i’m no lesbian” and you answer “well, maybe you are or maybe not …anyhow it doesn’t matter, I’ve decided you are”
Just saw your new video david(the newer one, the one where your wearing a green shirt lol) and I disagree about holidays being the best to get women. I think the summer is because that is when everyone is on vacation, more social and work less. but even in the summer I couldn’t get a woman.
the only way these last 2, 1 1/2 months left of the year will work is if I am less busy. during the holidays I’m pretty busy(especially black friday).
also I have been pretty emotional for days as well. I would just go to work and stay home. I will try that thanksgiving approach that you gave in the previous video about the captain crunch lol
@John Just call her, also did you see the cowboys/redskins game? redskins had the chance to beat dallas but screwed it up.
November is the busiest month of the year in terms of clubbing, rave events, rock, you name it. People are just going wild during this month, subconsciously being aware of the new year of hard work (for some maybe not that hard:)ahead of them.
It is also a good month for new beginnings or for new endings, people tend to be highly volatile and opened to changes.
It is also the month when the new College girls are realizing that are free in the New City, single and ready for adventures.
I would give any month of the year for a November…
Also, genetically speaking most of the large mammal species procreate during autumn in order for the offspring to come on summer and, automatically, their chances of surviving would be higher due to the warm climate and abundance of food.
Man, do i have a lot of free time at work today or what
@collin,, that was the first thing I did. All it says is it’s a cell phone in ky.
I think I know who is leaving the notes. One of my neighbors said he thinks it might be the old lady’s daughter. He said she’s in her 20′s. He also said she’s pretty cute. I haven’t seen her yet. Had to leave for work right after getting the note. She still hasn’t responded to my text msgs.
@John: This may surprise you but there are still some people out there who don’t have a texting plan and cannot send or receive text messages. I am one of those. Calling is the only way to go in these cases.
@godfather,, women?, especially YOUNG WOMEN? ,, doubt it.
Besides, I’m not going to chase. I think her “thing” for me has very little to do with me, and a whole lot more to do with a certain, bright yellow sports car parked out front of her window anyway.
For a very long time I have been doing everything that I can to self sabotage. I have put myself down, acted like me getting a date was some kind of joke. As a result I haven’t had anyone at all, not even a prospect in 4 years. So I am very interested in what you are saying. I am trying to change my thinking. Should I start talking to girls now despite the fact that the ‘drunken monkey’ is alive and well in me?
Preventing rejection… On a primal level:
* Women fear being killed by a man
* Men fear being laughed at by a woman
I’ve been reading this site and watching DW’s videos over the last couple of days and I’m forming a new mindset to meeting people. Not meeting “the one”; not meeting a dream-girl; not meeting a wife; not meeting hot-chicks; not meeting someone to go home with… Meeting PEOPLE. Making connections. Poking my head of of my shell.