Break Up With Your Cell Phone
August 5, 2009 
55 Comments
It’s Wednesday. Wednesday is our favorite day here on the site. Wednesday is podcast day, and today’s podcast is a particularly interesting one.
Actually as I’m sitting here, I had to push away a friend that is sitting right by my side. The need to push this friend away has been incredible of late.
This friend has irritated the hell out of me, interrupting things when I don’t want to be interrupted and monopolizing my days. I am always having to take this friend with me practically everywhere I go like it has no life of its own.
So what friend am I talking about today? I’m talking about my phone.
Is your phone taking over your life? Is your phone with you at all times?
Do you put your phone on the table when you have lunch, like the phone needs to consume the food too? Is the phone constantly being checked at every traffic light because you just can’t seem to kill fifteen seconds listening to music anymore? Is your phone with you on dates?
On your days off, is your phone attached your hip pocket just so you can read the email that you could wait and read when you get home? Is it constantly by your side so you can get that text from that person with whom you don’t even really want to be texting?
Is your phone so constantly attached to you that you actually take it to the beach or to the pool? Do you give your phone suntan lotion or get some good SPF for it?
I used to have my phone attached to me 24/7. I’m now eliminating my phone slowly on certain days. It’s been a tough process, but it’s seems like it’s a good thing.
I come from the generation of people who lived on voicemail. Hell, I even remember when there was just a ringer. When I was growing up, we used to just ring the phone and if nobody answered, nobody answered.
I remember my first answering machine. It was taped. I had to call, I had to go to the old ‘bad breath pay phone’ and dial in to listen to my messages.
Life got along just fine without it. People were still successful. People still dated.
When you got home, you had something to which to look forward like a blinking light with the number of messages you had. I miss those days when you came home and saw you had five messages on your answering machine.
Nowadays, the phone is constantly attached to us. You can’t escape it. You feel the need to answer everything that comes in the minute it comes in. Even when you’re on the beach or you’re relaxing, if something comes in you feel the need to check it.
It’s become a part of our life and it’s become an intrusive part of our lives. So I think one day a week, everyone needs to put the phone down. Put it down and don’t bring it with you.
You’re either by yourself or you’re with people with whom you want to spend time. Give it a break. Give it a rest.
It’s good for your phone too. Your phone doesn’t need to know everything that’s going on in your life. Your phone doesn’t need to travel everywhere you go.
So in today’s podcast we’ll talk about some rules for dates. You’re going to be outraged to hear what some people actually pull off with their phone on a date. I’m also going to talk a little bit about how your phone actually can be your friend and can even get you out of bad dates.
To listen to today’s podcast, click here:
Also, if you want to learn more about how to cultivate an amazing lifestyle that will attract the kind of people you most want to meet, be sure to check out my Men’s Mastery Series and my Women’s Art of Attracting Men programs.
Hi Dave,
Thanks for blogging and podding about this… it really is the one thing that drives me nuts when I’m on a date or even just getting together with a woman for coffee, tea, etc.
I could go on a rant, but let’s just say that I’m a little more guerilla warfare about it and will openly tell a date/coffee date that I think it’s rude to be constantly texting/talking while I’m with them. If they apologize and quit, they get a second chance. If they look surprised, get angry, etc., start giving me a bunch of garbage about it, I walk.
Life’s too short…
Bob
You need to add a share option so that I can post links to your blog on my Facebook page! This blog is amazing. I hate cell phones. I only have one because my mother bought it for me because she thinks that if I am in a car accident and might die that my cell phone will miraculously be right next to me as I am lying in a ditch bleeding and I’ll be able to use it to call for help.
But seriously, if you don’t have a cell phone nowadays people act like you are a social leper who is impoissible to contact. They refuse to leave messages on your answering machine and people can’t stand to wait a day or two for you to call them back.
Cell phones have made us all so impatient. Why does everyone want to allow others to contact them at any time, day or night? ANd heaven forbid you leave your cellie at home when someone is trying to call you!
Wow!
Although, like I said in my comment on yesterday’s blog — I do like flirt-texting.
I want to share a story about me today, i was at a park earlier with a woman i am currently dating, suddenly the conversation died, all i wanted to do is just watch people, and we noticed something, there are people that were walking, text, and in their iphone who just so occupied with their electronic gadget that they miss all the life that is happening right front of them. Its a sad view how our technology is taking us out of the moment.
Rick- they are so in the coma it makes me laugh, and we are all guilty of doing this in the past on some level.
That is so true some people are so glue to the their phone its unbelievable i a have friend who completely fit this profile:)
Matter fact he reads this blog, so I don’t care what he thinks since its the truth!
John- love your honestly:)
thanks CJ, the truth set you free!
I’m guilty of being the guy in the bank who is talking business in a loud voice (I have to, the clients need to hear me!) on my cell phone. I occasionaly get looks, but sorry folks, the banks not a library. But when I am talking to someone in person, I don’t answer my phone.
It makes business easier and lets me work at my own schedule. I agree, socially, I will be more careful.
Its not technology taking people out of the moment just like it is not alchohol that creates the addiction. The people who can’t connect anymore outside of their phones are the same people who found other excuses before to be anti-social.
I am a child of technology, there is nothing wrong with it. Just the people who use it.
now I want to see Hollywood make a movie out of this man vs cell phone isn’t that catchy?:)
now I want to see Hollywood make a movie out of this man vs cell phone isn’t that catchy?:)
hahhahaha match vs cell phone wtf John LOL
As far as todays blog goes, I need to become more aware of my cell phone usages, that way not only i will stop going over my minutes:) also i would enjoy each moments more.
a.movie-
I agree with you, as long as we are disciplined, personally i don’t like lousy people on the bank line.
a.movie- sorry forgot to add a smiley end of that line, don’t take it personally, just my opinion.
one more question for you a.movie- what you do when you get looks from poeople?
damn…jimmii it looks like you are interviewing a.movie or something slow down LOL
since Jimmii is so curious today I would like to see what a.movie has to say…..
another great wednesday podcast, i wish we had them everyday:)
I agree technology is not a bad thing as long as we stay control of our selves.
Crystal
How do i create that link?
Also so true we are now so damm impatient and everyone has that cute phrase at the end of there emails.
Sent from My I Phone
I have
Sent From My I Phone please excuse the horrific grammar for some reason apple though people could actually type on this thing!
Bob
I am all about guerrila warfare….next time someone pulls this i am going to throw the phone across the room!
a movie
i know you have seen some people really abuse some of this so called technology!!!
Rick
So true people miss out on life all the time due to technology. When i was a kid i used to love road trips and actually looked out the window.
today you see people staring at dvd screens and phones its no wonder everyone needs a damm navigation system!
I agree with you completely. But what’s the solution? What is a way to deal with someone on a date who constantly answers her phone or checks the messages? And no, something other than giving her a copy of your podcast.
Edward
What i would do is this.
Look at her and tell her that if she wants to hang with her cell you can leave.
If you do this she will either stop or keep going and if she does you will realize that she is a social idiot.
If she stops she will actually gain some respect for you.
Another way is to put your hand on it when it vibrates before she can reach for it and look at her right in the eye and say.
Choose….me or your cell phone.
well my thorts on this when some foke go out for the night on the town there is always one purson how gos to far ether start a silly fight over a girl and the some one tutching the girls how are not out for this tipe of yomer just enjoy them selfs this can be to do with young girls how go out dressing up just asking for trubel and no it but this also go to far and befour you no it thay get there drink spiket and wakeing up in a bed not noing how thay got there and that is wher your websites help keep them much safer you on however thay go with is on site and can enjoiy them selfs i my be roung but i thick you see what mean
guilty as charged! Ill be changing!
Simon
We are all guilty now we can see how many people man up and woman up!!
Edward-
Gotta love David’s choose me or your cell phone, its priceless:)
DW-
I agree being a kid and looking out into the wild was spectacular whatever happened to those days, now we are too occupied with dvd cars or navigation system:)
DW- what was your favorite road trip when you were a kid?
beside the best places for mating?:)
Did anybody hear about the guy who went into a fitness class Tuesday night filled with women and opened fire, killing 3? His motives, he had trouble meeting women!! Are you f***ing kidding me :O Dude can’t get girls so he decides to go to his local gym and shoot all the girls there. Fucking Psycho!!
He had a blog talking about his “luck” with women and in it wrote “if I had control over my life then I would be happier.” But you did have control you dumbass!! We all have the power to choose how to live our lives!!
*Not trying to be a party pooper and get everyone depressed with the story
, just had to share. Some people are just fucking crazy!
Full Story at: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32292246/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/
this is right on, David.
what you said about kids looking out the window of the car is so right…it’s important to have down time. One of my buddies who is a jazz player says he largely developed his talents because he used to be bored, but HE had to come up with something to do. Maybe today he’d have developed his keyboarding and texting skills instead of developing his imagination and becoming an artist.
I see my nephews get in the back of their minivan for the 30 minute drive home and their mom and dad strap headphones on all of them, aged 6, 8 and 11 and they all watch a DVD on the way home. Hey, the family is all together, but they might as well not be.
Fernando
I know this guy was out of his mind. Really crazy and sad that someone would actually feel that way and act upon his rage.
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
check out the video from the shooting….really crazy
THis is the whole story.
Fernando as you know this guy blogged about this.
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
The video is really crazy…….sad how someone can feel that way and as you all know we all have the power to create the life we want!
after years of computer tech work, i’m tryin’ to go
low tech. my cell phone is a pay as you go version,
to be used on road trips and kept in the car, or used
when i’m expecting something really important(1% of my time).
there ain’t much that can’t be dealt with a little later,
or in advance.
friends,dinner, entertainment is much better than talking
to someone who ain’t there, or wants to change plans at the
last second.
people seem to expect that you’re available 24/7 for anything.
call me at home, leave a message, if i’m gone, i’ll call back.
My business is a textbook business where I get calls 24/7 from Craigslist so it’s tough for me to not be on my phone. But on Sundays, I try to avoid the phone.
David, I don’t know. I am actually the online editorial assistant at a newspaper — but I have the IT guys do all of my bidding when it comes to creating links and stuff. I am really a page designer (as in paper) masquerading as an online editor. I will talk to our tech guys and see what I can find out for you.
I was only able to listen to the first minute of the podcast before my computer froze.
Why would you bring your dog with you to the dinner table? That’s crazy!
Listen, the world is not going to move backwards with technology, and yes you can live without it. I just happen to enjoy all of it.
As for talking in line at the bank. I am usually 100% focused on the call and don’t really see what other people are doing. I don’t miss my turn in line and if I happen to be on the phone when I get called to the teller, I would step out of line. Simple as that. I don’t answer it at restaraunts and yes I have seen many people get pretty rude with their devices. If its important and often it isn’t, I won’t answer the call.
The guy who shot up the gym. Very sad.
David,
I know that you hear this all the time on just about every blog or podcast that you put out but this was a damn good message!!! I really mean this because it’s almost as if you took what I have been thinking and said it. Im only 27 but I remember when I was in high school how no one had a cell phone. You had to write down numbers on pieces of paper. But there were no cell phone interruptions at all and you could go out with a girl or some of your homies and really embrace in the moment. Great Message Dave I’m with ya all the way on this one!!!!
I really appreciate all the effort you put into your blog. Lately I’ve ordered a couple products from Vin Dicarlo but he drives me crazy by trying to automatically sign me up for a $70 a month Mastermind newsletter subscription. I have your book, “Always Talk to Strangers.” When I finish that I’ll check out your current products. You seem to be hitting the nail on the head.
There are so many things to be aware of in the dating game. I’ve got a nut sack big enough to say, “me or the cell phone?” Thanks for simplifying this.
It is true, i have afriend who does that to me and i even tell her to stop looking at all the text she is getting while im talking to her, the fact is she is so in to those messages that sometimes she dont even pay attention to what im saying to her.
David, Our technology its breeds its own form of ugliness.
As a teenage boy (I’m 62 right now) I was painfully shy. I was a loner and never experienced all that is fun about high school, dating, and friendships at that age. I wanted to be in with the “in crowd” but because of my inability to overcome my problems placed the blame on the very people I wanted to be like for not being friendly to me.
We did not have this sort of media coverage about events like this at that time. I became obsessed with Nazi Germany for some illogical reason. My mother told me just a few years ago that she was worried that I might take that obssesion too far.
Today on the news “wackos” see what other “wackos” do to “ease” their minds,they like what they see and plot their own revenge, on those they feel have contributed to their state of mind.
Our technology provides them with detailed instructions and methodology to carry out their twisted plots.
Now a days you can easily see what some other fruitcake has accomplished on the other side of the world. On the internet one can literaly find anything and learn about anything you want!!!!
How did I get over my problems? I joined the army in 1965 and became a member of the 4F Club. Find them – Feel them – Fuck them – and Forget them. Sorry girls that was my mentallity back then.
Technology has its good points for the first time since I can remember, I have that abundance feeling. I mentioned this to Kheim the last time we talked.
So that is one good side of technology. Thanks David.
I have my moments… there are times when I’m good… I’ll leave the cell phone beeping and ringing… but there are times when I check it every so often.
It’s a constant desire to stay connected.
For me… sometimes, when i don’t reply in a timely manner… I feel I’m not being a good friend when the reality is… you are a good friend when you see the person IN PERSON!
And David, you can put the “share” button if you look for the plug-in for the wordpress blog.
Just tell Tyler to do that for you.
Ya, I went on a first date with a girl, and she started looking at her phone. So i said to her, “you know whats very attractive and mature, is when a girl on a date looks at her cell phone”
She blushed and immediately put it away and apologized. But that was a def sign she was not a keeper.
And Im like you in the sense that i may not respond to a call or a texts for a few hours, but that drives the girls I have dated CRAZY, especially with texting.
Id rather talk person to person, and not have to waste my time typing in words that Id rather say to her.
This was another good Podcast Dave, thanks for the opinions and advice, always helps me out alot.
I hate it when everyone is texting while they’re with you…i think it is very rude. Also I hate people who stand in line with their “blue tooth” on in a line while they are checking out of a grocery store or any other stores. You’re trying to check out and these people are talking and not paying attention when the cashier is trying to get paid so they can check out the next person.
I had a date with a guy who came up by train from NC to Va. for the date. We drove another hour to Old Town Alexandria for dinner, as he wanted to see the area.
We were settling in after our coats were hung and the staff had taken our order. His cell rang,….
I was shocked when he answered it and then when he proceeded to have a conversation with one of his students. It went passed the ‘interruption stage’, then flew passed the ‘rude’, and was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. The lack of respect had started to make me steam, and he saw the look on my face.
After he hung up, he ‘informed’ me, being a long weekend there were no reasons they could not have spoken to him on Tuesday or even the next day. (Ya think?) No apology BIG Mistake.
The date was now over, before it had truly begun. I would normally not have had my cell with me to have done this but,…things have a way of presenting themselves, My mother called, I took it.
The look on his face revealed,..he was able to receive the message loudly and clearly.
I usually avoid this scenario by leaving my phone in the car, or turning it off while having dinner. It makes the ‘one on one sharing’ so much nicer.
I think it is fine to check your phone After dinner.
Discreetly, between the interim of re-claiming coats from the coat room or our walk to the car with a polite, ‘Do you mind if I check my messages, I’m expecting an important call?’
No matter how busy you are, you can be considerate. Then I put it away once we are together in the car.
Depending on how well you know this person, ladies, you can decide if you choose to turn it off all together, or not. I do not.
Phones are one of the most rudely intrusive things in our lives. It doesn’t matter if it is a cell or a landlines. It intrudes into our homes, and now potentially into every moment of our lives.
It can be shut off and left to retrieve later.
Think if messages as ‘presents’ that you may possibly receive when you return.
That is why message machines were invented. To give us some freedom and control over our lives. Not relinquish it to every call, and salivate at every ring.