As I tossed in bed last night I was thinking.
What is the true definition of a stalker?
Ask yourself these questions:
• Do you find yourself calling people three, four, five times . . . even after they haven’t returned a phone call?
• How about the endless text messaging or emailing to someone even when there’s no responses to any of them?
There are many different ways that someone can be a stalker. There’s the scary Glenn Close type from “Fatal Attraction” who has a penchant for boiling bunny rabbits and jumping out of bathtubs. There’s the creepy ex against whom you have to get a restraining order to stop them from coming over to your house.
Then there is the form of stalker no one talks about. It’s usually the man or woman who doesn’t understand that when a person does not respond after the second phone message, text message or email, that the person is no longer interested.
I’m not very big into rules, but there is one by which I think everyone should abide: If you’ve left a few messages for someone and they haven’t called you back, then (borrowing from an old dating book) he’s (or she’s) just not that into you.
As Miranda on “Sex & The City” once told a group of women sitting on the library steps, if you leave a couple of messages for a man and he doesn’t call you back, he’s just not that into you. The problem is that they should have left it as a “Sex & The City” episode.
That book had one piece of good advice. The rest of it is annoying.
Plain and simple: If you’re a man who leaves a woman a few messages and she doesn’t call you back, you’re done.
If you text her several times and she doesn’t respond, you’re done. Technology didn’t stop working. Her fingers simply stopped responding to you.
If you email someone a few times and they don’t respond, you’re done. The spam filter that wasn’t there before did not just magically appear.
So now let’s get it right. The term is no longer “he (or she) is just not that into you.” The new term is “you’re done!” Finished. Done. End of the game – no two minute warning and no instant replay. You’re done.
Protect your dignity and walk away. You don’t want to be stalking the sidelines at the raving Tom Coughlin, nor do you want to look as confused on those sidelines as Wayne Fontes used to look when he coached the Detroit Lions.
You’re Done! Anything past a few messages, and you ARE a stalker. There are plenty of people to date. Don’t ever get caught harassing someone who does not want to date you.
Now repeat after me: If someone doesn’t call me back after several tries, I’m done. I’m as well done as a Jimmy Dean sausage from a Cracker Barrel roadside restaurant deep off I-95 in North Carolina.
I’d love to hear all of you share one of your stalker stories, whether you were the stalker or the one who was stalked.
Remember, it’s not necessarily negative if you’ve called someone once too often. We’ve all done it in our lives. So, share with us your favorite stalker or stalkee story.
Absolutley David. Im with you on this one. At the end of the day, I always tell my friends when there in this situation like this “if they want to call you back, they will – if they are interested, they will give you an opportunity to make a move, be happy to meet up etc. If they don’t, there not interested”. Simple as that. However, when your the person to whom it happens to, it can be hard to accept this as nobody want to be ‘rejected’ but at the end of the day that is life. Just apply the principle and nd don’t waste anymore time on it on the person. To avoid this situation altogether, always remember to be the flame…not the moth!
I stalked a girl once who I thought liked me, and she even said at one point I do like you, but timing is everything. At the end of a term in school we watched a movie together and cuddled, it was at night so I walked her home and she gave a quick peck on the lips and said she’d call me later… I think you all know where this is going…
The next day I texted her, had a great time watching that movie last night, and no response for a day or two. I then called her a few times and she didn’t pick up. I sent her a private message on Facebook and then gave up. It wasn’t the end of the world, but I spent about 2 weeks of my life chasing her.
I’ve been stupid and texted a girl 3 times over the course of 3 days and she never responded, but I doubt that’s stalking. I was just stupid ha.
However, I’ve definitely been the victim of serious stalking. I broke up with a girl of almost 2 years some time back and it was an ugly ending. Nothing mean was said, but it was something I wanted and she definitely saw coming, but she never thought I’d do it. Oddly enough, it’s was a bit after I started getting Wygant products that I felt this way!
After we broke up I began seeing numerous girls and my ex called me about 8 times every few days for about 2 or 3 weeks. She threatened to contact my parents and tell them I was harassing her, even though I never contacted her. She threatened to get a restraining order against me and send people to “teach me a lesson.” It was the strangest time in my life and definitely a new feeling looking over your shoulder every second.
Last I heard she moved away and the scary thing is I still occasionally get a message from her every few months where she mentions she loves me.
Beware who you date fellas!
I was the guy who didn’t feel complete if I didn’t live for a woman. So when this one relationship broke up exactly a year ago I felt empty. I had been reading wygant for six months then but I was doing it for the wrong reasns. A woman could never fulfill the emptiness of being I felt. I’m still grappling with it. Suffice to say a month after we brokeup I decided to contact her with flowers and an apology. We had a mutual friend who told me that she had been promoted in her work but I felt bad for myself for not getting a call from her about the good news. The flowers had an apology and hope that se and I could remain friends. With the awful break up we had she just didn’t see it that way and threatened the police if I got near her. I was with another girl at that time and I still hadn’t rid of myself of that emptiness. I still hope that sometime in the future that she and I could be friends. I genuinely do not want to sleep with her and can’t think of her now as a romantic liaison without cringing.
I like the 3 strike rule here. Two to three calls or texts within the course of 2-3 days, and if there’s no reply move on. It’s not always easy when you get caught up emotionally, but it has to be done to save your dignity. Good blog today, David.
I go by the tag method with interactions if I send a message that doesn’t get a response it’s very rare I do a follow up in my social interactions. Once in awhile I may do a follow up one time if I think it’s worth it but I don’t call anyone more than twice without hearing back from them in my dating life.
I have run into this one girl after communication went dark and she asked what happend between us so I told her I had sent her a response to her text msg and a follow up and never heard back from her again. She said well maybe she was playing hard to get. So I told her if she didn’t respond to the follow up I guess she was playing a little too hard to get for me. I think she might have been a little surprised at my bold attitude towards the situation but the way I see it is it was her loss
I guess this girl may have wanted a stalker type guy but that isn’t me so on to the next one.
KJD
You are the fucking man. I have been reading some of your comments lately, and you are a boss. You seem to have the perfect attitude when it comes to dating. You have to tell me this, what is your secret?
Okay I have an interesting stalker story to share on here. This person I am going to talk about use to be a former coworker of mine when I use to work as a mall security guard supervisor. This guy acted like a tough guy and had that mentality of not being afraid of anything. He was in the U.S.M.C. reserve at the time I was working with him. One day at the mall, I received a call from him on the radio asking me to meet with him in person. When I met up with him, he told me that he noticed some woman was following him around the mall. He was feeling really uncomfortable about it and wanted to know if he could change his location for patrolling. I accepted his request and told him to patrol outside the mall. About 30 minutes later, I received another call from him on the radio asking to meet up again. When I met up with him this time, he told me that the woman was still following him. I looked over my shoulder and saw this big woman slowly walking towards us. I asked my coworker if he knew this person. He said he didn’t know this person who was stalking him and was became fearful of this woman. I then told him to jump in the security vehicle and we both drove off. This incident kept continuing on for several weeks. It eventually came down to me having to confront the woman and telling her personally to stop following this person. It was interesting to see the expression my coworker had on his face whenever he saw this woman following him and knowing that he was actually scared of a woman when he was in the U.S.M.C.
As far as the topic of this blog, I have had a small episode of stalking in my life. After my ex and myself broke up, for a couple of weeks i was “stalking” her. I mean I would try texting her everyday for about a week, and stopped after that because it became boring. I would just facebook creep her all the time and think about her, but never talk to her cause she wanted nothing to do with me. I But that is the past, time to move on to the next. Its her loss. (:
What is the best way to get over a break up? The blog about dating after a divorce was helpful, i need something more.
when will I be unbanned? this is an interesting topic
When will I be unbanned? this is an interesting topic, and it kind of pertains to a situation I’ve been having over the past years with Maybell.
I’ve got a 2 message limit. She doesn’t respond after 2 calls/messages/emails..I move on.
BEST MOTIVATION EVER!!!!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk56VxaeqEQ
Hey guys, I met a nice lady some time ago, we didn’t live in the same city, so we chatted by phone or emails from time to time. Actually our talks were interesting and were connecting ones aswell.
She had to move because of a place she got for studies, to the other side of the country. We were texting quite often, until last month, she suddenly banished. I wrote here a follow up mail, and I got an answer three weeks later, telling me that she is very sorry, but there are a lot of things going on her life atm; but she wanted to give some life signs.
It was hard for my at the beginning to accept that I was done already, and fellows, life goes on. I kept (and keep) doing what I’m interested in and trying to meet people. I got over her after a week or so. Not a big deal any more.
Another time I was talking with a girl I was dating, and we were arguing about something she did, and I did not liked. She asserted that her femenine intuiton told her that I liked here anyways (despite what she did), and I replied that my masculine intuition said not that much anymore, to me…
I got a song I think really goes well along this topic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTGKsxT8ptE
Okay here is another story I have about stalking. This was something that I will never forget. This incident happened again at the mall I use to work at. I was assigning security officers to certain locations for patrolling. I went to walk outside of the mall and noticed this car drive by and stop in front of this male security officer who was patrolling on the sidewalk. As the car stopped, this big woman came out of the car and started swearing at the security officer walking on the sidewalk. She then pushed him into the bushes, got on top of him, and started punching him in the face. I then quickly called on the radio code-30 (officer needs help) and rushed to the scene. As soon as I arrived, the woman ran and got back in her car and drove off. I asked the security officer who got beaten up if he knew who she was. He told me that the woman was his girlfriend and she came down all the way to his work and beat him up because she found out he was cheating on her.
Keep the mindset of abundance and you will never stalk anyone at all.
The same concept applies when you are out…keep the mindset of abundance and you will never chase after one woman all night long.
@Tim
Thanks man! My secret is I’m not perfect I have my flaws but I accept and embrace them. If someone can’t accept me than oh well thier issues not mine. I’m happy with who I am, being single doesn’t bother me, I can be just as happy going out by myself as going out with a woman or just friends. I make my own fun in this world and don’t allow others opinions about me to effect me as long as I am happy about myself. Ofcourse there is always room for improvement but I work on myself when I can however I can. I try to be the best me I can be but I don’t strive for perfection that would be far too boring. Our flaws are what separate us from everyone else, if everyone was perfect we would all be the same and if every person was the same how interesting would it be to meet new people? So first get to know your self. I had lost who I was when I got out of a 5 year relationship (engaged to be married and we split) and I needed to take about a year rediscovering who I truly was again. Then after you know yourself love yourself. Somethings in this world you can change others you can’t so embrace everything about yourself, the good the bad and the ugly. Once you love yourself be the best you you can be. You want to always push yourself to be a better person just don’t put the pressure on yourself to do it in a day. Another key point is you need to make changes for you and not for others. Develop the inner drive to be happy for you. If you change for others you will still be the old you inside and just feel like you are putting on a show for the world, and eventually others will see that too. Always look on the brightside of things a positive outlook on life is infectious. I mentioned the other day about being a fun loving, happy person and that’s how I live everyday. Life is an adventure so run wild and free with it. Problems in life are always of the moment once you get past them you never worry about them again so why bog yourself down with worry at the present? Be confident and proud of who you are if someone has a problem with you it’s not worth worrying about that either. They can either accept you or not and that is going to be thier choice not yours. So in a whole lot of words that’s my secret…
In very few words “know thy self, love thy self if the world disagrees fuck ‘em”
I don’t think I’ve ever stalked anyone, although I may have been stalked. There have been times where I wanted to stalk but thankfully my brain had a tight hold of my actions.
It’s usually been after a breakup and when I was rebounding. She would offer some relief from hurt of the breakup and I’d become so needy. Not a pretty picture.
After reading today’s blog and remembering when I wanted to constantly be in contact with a woman, I really think that for myself, neediness was the key ingredient.
What do others think?
David I agree with you on this one. Although it is just so easy to send a lot of texts 1 leads to 2 3 to 4 and then a 30 later. I think the problem is that we men and yes women, get so hung up on one person we think great we have a phone number done, thus we stop flirting with all the other amazing people we are bound to meet during the course of our day.
KJ, What the hell do you know egg head? Where the hell did Julie go anyho? Whe seemed like the stalker type…
@bob,, lmao,, you crack me up.
Does leaving a random note on a guy’s apartment door that says “I’ve been checking you out”, count as stalking? ,, lol.
Mario C great video. Great motivation. Im half way to my goal weight and hitting a plateau. This is giving me another boost. Reading Intern Dan post is making me think of my situation and now I decided to cancel my coffee date with my ex. I do not why he contacted me again, however I realize it doesnt matter. Im deleting his number so I do not bother him. Im finding myself thinking of him and realize its in the past. I think I just missed the ideal of him. Great Post
Bob, egg head?? Really?
Your age has done wonders for your maturity…
@Bob
(playful teasing disclaimer no need to get offended)
I know myself, what is it that you know? I’m always looking to learn so share those insights I may not agree with some of them but always interested in hearing opinions different than mine. As a Native American my people have a great respect for our elders… As old as you are I may need to harness my whole stock pile of respect.
Bob, what do you have against people sharing the things they’ve learned in their life experiences?
I guess I have been unbanned. I will follow the rules and etc.
Now onto the topic, for the past 3-4 years I’ve been occasionally been going to a restaurant every 2-6 months, to eat and watch Maybell dancing in her dance studio from the restaurant. the reason is, is because I am too ashamed of talking to her ever since our falling out in 2000/2001. I had a plan to talk to her this summer but backed out.
I still love her, but I am too afraid to talk to her. that is why I do not greet her when I am watching her dance from the restaurant. she is the greatest dancer, the greatest. we danced alot when we were friends and I’d do anything to dance with her again. now believe me I want to talk to he but, I am ashamed. I don’t want her to see me like this, i want to wait until I’m perfect, which will come. I want her to wait until I’m mentally cured and physically attractive.
I don’t know if what I do is considered stalking because I don’t harrass her, follow her, or interfere with her personal life. all I do is go to the restaurant and watch her dance at her studio across the street, in hopes that she doesn’t see me. like in carlitos way, where al pacino staked gail and watched her dance on the roof. unlike him where he greeted her, I don’t greet Maybell and I stay hiden.
now I do not know if it is considered stalking, but if it is I will feel guilty and ashamed. and I will stop doing it. if it is not considered stalking than I will continue doing it because I have to see her.
however I disagree where David says that if you stalked a woman, never talk to her again. I feel that even if you stalked her you still have a chance with her if she didn’t find out.
KJ and the “others”.
Good grief guys, lighten up, I was joking. I think KJ is great, and always has enlightening comments, and has never once insulted or slandered me. He is probably the best, most enlightened poster on here! I was making a freaking joke! Don’t you guys remember “Julie” the Brook Shields girl that we finally exposed? Wasn’t she great! I miss her holier than me attitude. She is the one who said he had an “EGG HEAD” after he made some alarming, realistic comments about her. I can’t believe at least you, KJ didn’t get it… Okay, I will start reposting charming and enlightening comments only from now on. Sorry I tried to make a joke KJD…
John, No it doesn’t. If she does it again, or leaves anonymous notes or begins peering through your window, at night or while you are dressing…Then is becomes stalking.
I am glad you got my “egg head” joke, anyhow. We are still in FL. Did the flipper thing at the sea world, and rode the Harley all over around A1A beach drive today. Last night went bar hopping at round up and Cowboys. Man, these people have no idea how to 2 step around here, so we drew quite a crowd! Fun Fun. Take care bud. http://www.roundupnightclub.com/ and http://cowboysdavie.com/ Damn, I am not kidding you. A guy that looked EXACTLY like David W. came up and hit on Kritin. I was looking all around for Dan and Shogo!!
@Tom: Although I don’t agree with you going to see Maybell from time to time dancing, I can how love would make you want to do that. Why do you feel you have to wait until you get more attractive and are in better mental health to go talk to her again? I am someone who believes that a girl should like me for me no matter how I am, do you feel this way? And you have an added bonus of being in a relationship with her before, what’s the harm in striking up a conversation with her now?
@Bob I understood the joke and responded with a little teasing back… Hence the smiley and disclaimer. Also included that I like reading your post even when your opinion differs from my own.
To Dan and Shogo… Don’t worry about me it will take more than a little Internet teasing to fracture my ego and I can generally handle myself in a battle of wit.
@Tom: Hey Tom. It looks like David listened to you after all and posted a blog about stalking. As you may already know, women would much rather have you talk to them instead of just staring at them from a distance and not saying a word. It creeps them out when you do that and can make them feel uncomfortable of your presence. I would like to end this post with a quote that you may find to be useful: “If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.”
@Hey John. Did have any luck yet with finding out who sent you that note?
Yeah, but can you handle yourself in a battle with a frying pan?
@Godfather, you’re right! You’re roving eye is detectible from across the room. A better point would be that people in general can detect the slightest angle of the eye. For guys looking at women, it means the breast. I have female friends who I will not voluntarily sleep with. However, some of them have nice racks and I have to catch myself sometimes from surveying their breast like land waiting to be claimed. LOL
Your comment is awaiting moderation
Whad I do? Why is Mr. Wygant “moderating” my comments now?
Bob November 17, 2011 at 5:20 pm 27
John, No it doesn’t. If she does it again, or leaves anonymous notes or begins peering through your window, at night or while you are dressing…Then is becomes stalking. I am glad you got my “egg head” joke, anyhow. We are still in FL. Did the flipper thing at the sea world, and rode the Harley all over around A1A beach drive today. Last night went bar hopping at round up and Cowboys. Man, these people have no idea how to 2 step around here, so we drew quite a crowd! Fun Fun. Take care bud. http://www.roundupnightclub.com/ and http://cowboysdavie.com/ Damn, I am not kidding you. A guy that looked EXACTLY like David W. came up and hit on Kritin. I was looking all around for Dan and Shogo!!
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Good blog. Awhile back I started having feelings for a friend but I left it too late and she started seeing another guy. I checked her Facebook to get a look at the guy and before I knew it I was checking her profile every few days then almost everyday! I scared myself a little bit I must admit. I managed to control it and have even deleted her because she has moved out of town. She tried to re-ad
@Julie,Thats not nice!!!! There is nuthing wrong with his head
@Julie
Frying pans are easy. Duck and weave, float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.
@Kristin
I like the new pic with you and Bob btw but you two are missing some smiles in that pic
Thanks there is nothing wrong with your head either
@Manny: My solution to you is to wear sunglasses covering your eyes to avoid detection of breast gazing.
Disclaimer: This method will not work if your head is tilted downward toward the person’s breasts in front of you.
@KJD,Im not big on smileing,But we did have lots of fun that day.I hope theres nuthing wrong with my head lol
Bob, I’m not sure how the “Your comment is awaiting moderation” thing works.
It seems to randomly pick comments to send to moderation. As a rule, we let them all go through unless someone gives us a big reason to moderate them. You’re nowhere near being moderated.
@godfather ,, I still don’t know for sure who left it. I have a feeling it might be the really old fat lady in the front of the building.
I hope I’m wrong,, lol.
@John,Just saying, Fat ladys need love too lol
Kristin,, there is nothing wrong with your head, but there is plenty wrong with your spellin’. Maybe it’s your level of edumacation.
@John: You might get lucky if it turns out to look like this hot chick:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/19/BettyWhiteJune09.jpg/200px-BettyWhiteJune09.jpg
They should have replaced Meagan Fox with this chick in Transformers. I am sure many people would be dying to watch it with this person in it.
@godfather,, lol,, that’s my favorite Golden Girl!. Lol.
@John
With the info you are currently making your decisions on she could be the little old fat lady in the front of the building but then again she might be that shy supermodel that digs guys that drive cameros and roots for the bengals that lives upstairs… You never know until you find out who left that letter. Life always presents us with opportunities it’s up to you to sieze them.
I’m off for the night to my weekly Texas Hold ‘em game
@Bob and Kristin
Better have some thick skin though we tease each pretty good while we play.
If you ever up Canada way let me know, you can give me some 2 steppin lessons and I’ll give y’all some Hold ‘em lessons. We will teach anyone and only charge for the lessons each hand until you get the hang of it
@bob,, sounds awesome,,
One of these days I hope to have the financial independence to just be able to take a vacation like that at will. For now,, have to wait until next year to get another three weeks.
I haven’t been to Florida since I was a little kid, with my family. I keep wanting to go,, but when I take a vacation, I never feel like driving all the way down there. ( or riding that far.) I want to sometime. Hopefully next year.
@kjd,, there is a REALLY hot girl that lives upstairs. But the letter said,, next door. So that means eith across the hall, the apartment in the front, on my side,, or the next hallway over.
No number, no apt. Number, no last name,, nothing to go by.
I’m still banking on it being the old lady, ( she’s seriously like 60 ),, because hot girls just don’t do stuff like that. Girls with options don’t leave notes on random guys doors. They DON’T CHASE.
@Julie,Thanks
There is nothing wrong with my level of edumacation.How have you been?
@KJD,Sounds fun
@kjd,, I used to be a poker stars junkie. Poker alias was KrazyJohnny. I used to make a lot of money just grinding four tables of 1/2NL. We got shut down by the government now,, so I have to go to the casino in indiana to play now. Those games are so easy. Just sit and play tight, and get in cheap from late pos. when you can, and wait to flop a decent hand, and even when everyone realizes how tight your playing, they will STILL pay you off with top pair. I just rarely have time to make the hour drive to Indiana anymore.
But, God I miss online poker,, lol.
John, I was way ahead of you, back in the online poker days. I was a Party Poker Junkie (have a dozen shirts, hats, n coats), and had a very large account from playing sit n goes, and tournies online. I miss those days. I used to get guys so pissed at me on the chat, raggin’ them, that they would go on tilt and pay me off every time. I seem to be good at that kind of thing…
Where do you draw the line between persistence and cutting your losses? I thought women enjoy the pursuit? If you give up too soon, you lose…and if you don’t give up it’s stalkerish? Where does one draw the line?
Julie, How come you disappeared for a month, till I brought you up tonight? Damn, Julie, you been readin’ the blog all along, and just bidin’ your time, studyin’ on us poor ole’ has been, wanne bees? Are you really from AZ or was that BS like your pic? Why don’t you put up a real one, it can’t be that bad…Maybe you are the one puttin’ the notes on John’s car??
okay here it goes:
I have been separated from my last ex husband and i did not hear from him for about two months. and one day i got an email from him and he called my parents several times wanting to talk to me. but i emailed him back and said i wanted a divorce he said he did not and i said i did…he emailed again several times and i had to change my email address and internet service and my phone number. now what got me is there are times i will get a bill collector calling asking for him or his brother now talking about harassment. then one time he had this girl to call me to see if he was there and i told her that he left me in 2004, and we got a divorce in 2005, to leave me alone and never call me back. now the third ex husband would harass me at work wanting me to come and see him after i said that i was not….and one thing is so…once a guy tells me he is THRU with me than it is over he will not see or hear from me again for I will not even embarass my parents for they taught me about men…or stoop so low as to beg for a place to stay or even a booty call….now i may give the man some booty but he will be the one to beg me back…once i am thru with a guy don’t call or even bother for all you will get is a cold shoulder….no reply.
@bob,, I used to play on party too. I won my first multi table tourney on party. It was a $10 .00 limit holdem tourney. Had to quit when they stopped accepting u.s. players. I can’t even remember my screen name on party. I was KrazyJohnny on full tilt, and stars.
I’m in the mood to hit the poker room at hollywood casino now,, but I’m too tired. Too bad I have to work all weekend. (damn).
@Bob,,, it’s been so long since I’ve played a sng, I would probably lose my ass off. I remember switching to being super aggressive when it got down to the bubble (last 4),, and I was great at heads up. If I made it to the money, I was usually winning it. It would take me a while to learn again.
I really thought online poker would be legal by now,, there is just too much money in it.
Mccoy, If a woman was interested in you and you weren’t interested in her, where would you would draw the line between her being persistent and her being stalkerish?
@Tom, you are ruining these blogs and comments that actually lead to solving peoples problems instead of bitching about them and getting off topic.
I digress
I also believe that people “stalk” on facebook too. Regardless, you still know what everyone is doing. When I want to talk to someone, I will call them, which is something that nobody does. I hate texting people and would rather have a conversation with them in person.
Bob, I’m sure you were GREAT at getting guys to go on tilt!
I had a PP account back in the day when it was legal too… good ol days, eh?
Heads up was always my downfall tho…
I think technology has allowed people to stalk others much easier. If anyone wants to stalk somebody, get the find friends app for the smart phone (I have it on the IPhone, not sure if other smart phones have this app). When you and the other people you share this app with befriend each other, you can know where they are at any given time. I already know a few people who have this app. Since I also have this app, the people who I share this app with currently know my exact location and could be stalking me right now!
Kyle
I feel the same way I had rather see talk or see the person than to talk to them on a computer or text them…
@David S, I wasn’t in a relationship with Maybell, we had a friendship only, I was stuck in the friend zone from 1993-2000/2001. I was friends with her but really liked her. when I did open up, something happened. the reason why I want to wait until I am attractive, is because if I just stay the same way I look and am mentally, then we’ll be just friend again.
@John Who left you a note?
I learned it as a hard lesson in my youth.
I was a shy guy and not aggressive at all, but was accused of being a stalker because I don’t know that when woman didn’t answer you back, it means your chance was over.
I learned it pretty hard as I called one highschool girl several times but she refused to answer. I thought woman refuses you by sending you a *fare-well* letter but truth is, they simply hint you by not answering you anything.
Now as I matured and became wiser, sometimes, people simply hint you very subtly that young men may miss the subtexts.
I don’t think the majority so-called *stalkers* are truly stalkers, they simply don’t understand the rule and the fine lines.
when i usually dont build a connection with a female i recycle their number to a friend and wish him luck…lol
its usually not the your fault anyways..people are just shy 2 speak to you…cuz their lives are really boring and they are comforatble being that way…but when they get stood up…its funny watching the tables turn on them…lol
I appreciate this article. I’m sort of the type to ‘go for it’ and keep trying to make things work when they fall apart. I have read that some of these men want a woman like that. Then when they meet a woman like that; who they don’t like, its stalking. I never want anyone to think that about me so that’s why its important to follow this advice. They’re so not interested in you that they never even bother to tell you not to call back…
Also, yes. Its sad when you see them once and from then its all online or on the phone or waiting for a reply…which may never come…
I guess I’m the ‘one more thing’ kind of stalker. I just wanted to ask
What about someone who needs more time to think about it and that’s why he/she hasn’t replied?
Thanks
As a woman, I have to say, that creepy guy staring at me from across the room, the bus, the train, the cafe, or wherever, is just that: creepy. I don’t know what book tells guys that staring at a strange woman who is by herself in some public place is a turn-on or is a prelude to flirting, but that book needs to be taken off the market. You want to talk to me? Great, come up and ask me something benign, like what time it is or about traveling or about the local area. Staring like that equal leering and, as a woman who has traveled the world alone and been subjected to far too many leers and lewd cat-calls (not because I’m hot, but because I am female, I am foreign and I am alone), I find anything related to that entirely too distasteful and totally unengaging. In fact, if you do it, two things will likely happen: I will leave and/or, if you do work up the whatever to actually talk to me, I will shoot you all the way down in more than one language.