I got a great question from Eric yesterday…

He’s got himself a very hot girlfriend. He believes she loves him and is into him, but there’s a problem. She’s a major flirt and she’s hanging out with guys who clearly want to get with her. “At the end of the day I know she wants to be with me, but I’m tired of hanging out with this type of girl. What should I do?” He asks.

Women generally flirt for one reason. She needs validation from other men. The validation she gets from you is not enough.  She’s a bit of a narcissist. She likes that validation from men constantly. It’s almost a need which comes from her insecurities. She needs constant reassurance that she’s attractive and desirable.

When you’re dating a flirt you’re dating a woman that’s insecure. So when she goes out and shows this type of behavior, it’s because she needs to have herself validated. It doesn’t matter what you do, or how much you tell her you love her.

You can do two things. You could be a mature man and just love her the way she is. Let her do her thing and know that that’s just her way. As long as she’s coming home to have great sex and a relationship with you, what’s the problem?

Or you can ask her why she likes to flirt. Does she need validation from other men? What is it? What does she get from this? Learn a little bit about her – ask her about her behaviors.

You can’t change somebody. You can’t make somebody what you want them to be. I’ve been with women like this that still need validation from other men, and I wasn’t jealous at all. They were still coming home to me. They still wanted to be with me. They still wanted to spend every night with me. I didn’t really care.

It actually became a bit of a game when I was dating women like this. They would actually text or call me up and say, “You should see all the guys hitting on me tonight and all I can do is think about you.” It actually became a little sexual game with them.

You’ve got to realize this isn’t about you. It’s about her own issues, insecurities, her own fears, her own needs and desires. She needs it; she needs the validation from other men. If you’re dating a flirt you have two choices – roll with it or confront it. It’s your choice my friend. Either way, do nothing you’re not going to know exactly where you stand.