This is the second part of a conversation we had at a recent bootcamp about window-shopping in life and challenging yourself. This is a great example of the types of things we work on during weekend bootcamps!

Howie: Here is another thing I realized: after I almost lost my life I discovered that while I was not really afraid of death, I was terrified of that last minute just before I died. In that moment, I had to run through my head all of the things I had desired in my life. Had I even attempted to achieve some of my desires?

What terrified me was that if I were to ask myself that question right then, I couldn’t live with the answer. I had put off everything that I had wanted to do, and it was such bullshit!

David: I don’t think people are afraid of death, I think that they are afraid of living. So many of us are in a coma all of the time – a self-induced coma.

Taking risks proves that you’re alive. Pushing your boundaries proves your vitality. If you haven’t pushed your personal boundaries today, then you haven’t lived.

As we’re sitting here chewing our food, I’ll ask you this: how did you live today? How did you push your boundaries? How did you force yourself to do something new? What did you do to challenge yourself today?

It’s essential to always challenge yourself no matter what you do. You’re on the path of just challenging yourself beyond belief. Chris, I think you’re the same path. You have always been on that path, you’re just starting that path and you are starting it too.

You have to start that path somewhere, somehow, sometime. But after you start that path, what are you going to do to challenge yourself further? You always have to keep challenging yourself every day.

I always tell people after they take any type of training with me to make a to-do list. We’re all so great with our to-do lists, right? We do them at work everyday. Make a to-do list. “Today I’m going to talk to five strangers. I normally eat lunch at my desk, but today I’m going to go to Whole Foods and talk to the people next to me. On the way home from work tonight, I’m going to have dinner at Baja Fresh (or whatever it is) and I’m going to talk to people. I’m going to learn how to be memorable.”

We’re all memorable. We’re most memorable when we push ourselves beyond our personal comfort levels. When you push your boundaries, you become memorable. People say, “man, that guy was so nice, he asked me great questions!”

Today we saw that guy fom the furniture store and you really connected with him. I was watching his body language and I saw a genuine smile. That’s the thing with people in retail – if you bored them in the store, they will run from you if they see you outside of the store. But this guy didn’t – he stopped and talked to you and gave you a genuine smile.

You pushed yourself beyond your boundaries. Many people truly believe that they are overstepping their boundaries if they get personal with someone. However, as human beings, we’re craving getting personal with others.

I love it when I meet somebody who is interested in what I do. I love when they are interested in me, and compliment me and make me feel good.

You got a great confirmation from that guy. You can say to yourself, wow, this guy really remembered me!

I know how this works, because I bartended for seven years. When I was bartending, I would have people come up to me on the street that had drank in my bar all of the time and I’ll have no idea who they were. They weren’t memorable.

They’d say, “hey, David, how are you?” and I’d have to play it off and say, “hey, man…” I had to call everybody ‘man!’ I’d play it off, and then we’d walk away, and the friend I was with would ask me who that was. I’d have to answer, “I have no idea.”

That night I’d go back to work and I’d see the person again and think, oh my god. This person has been coming to my bar for so long but they were never memorable. They never shared anything with me.

Now, there are two ways to be very memorable: one is to ask questions and get deeper with someone, but you also have to share something about yourself.

Whenever you leave a place, you have to 1) connect with people by asking a lot of questions and 2) leave a part of yourself with everyone you talk to.

Give them the gift of yourself. Share something with them. Maybe it’s about skiing. Whatever it might be. Your last trip to Mexico, how funny it was – whatever! It doesn’t matter.

You want to leave something behind of yourself. You want to leave part of your soul behind so that others can remember you. You don’t want to be that invisible person that walks into a bar every single night but nobody knows your name.

Just like Cheers – you want to go where everybody knows your name!