guy stalking mutual friend david wygantI got an e-mail from a subscriber the other day.

He wrote:


I’m now in the process of splitting up from my wife. And recently, I’ve been hanging out more. I was at a party recently and I connected with this incredible woman that has been in my extended circle of friends for a long time.

She’s good friends with a few of my friends and I really want to go out with her. I think she likes me, but I’m not quite sure.

We exchanged information. I kind of wanted her to know a little bit more. I kind of exchanged cell phone information with her and everything else, but I’ve been texting her non-stop and calling her and she doesn’t seem to get back to me.

What’s up?


Here’s the deal: You just put her in a “mutual friend, holy shit” moment.

You’re putting her in the most uncomfortable situation she could possibly be in.

You got her number only because she really didn’t know what else to do. You’ve got mutual friends.

She hasn’t answered your texts, called you back because she’s not interested in that way. She doesn’t want anything. She doesn’t want a relationship with you, and she may just want a friendship with you, but she doesn’t know what to do.

Who cares that you’ve met through mutual friends. You think that’s the path to an easy lay, an easy girlfriend, or whatever you might want?


Here’s some advice for all you men that get involved in this:

Next time you meet a woman who is a mutual friend, you text her or call her and she doesn’t get back to you, leave it alone. Leave her alone. Stop phone-stalking her, texting her, and all of that other stuff.

Leave her alone. She doesn’t know what to do.

She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings; she doesn’t want to ruin the friendship that she has with her friend; she doesn’t want to be talked about with you and her in the same sentence; and she doesn’t want to hear her friend ask, “So what’s up with you and Bill?”

Leave her alone.

One text, one phone call, and you’re done. The next time you see her, be mature. Talk to her as a friend.

That’s all she sees you as.