Every day my inbox is flooded with women telling me story after story after story about men that are not committing to them.

It’s endless. It seems like an epidemic all over the world. The problem is, the reason a lot of these men don’t commit is because you don’t understand what kind of a man you’re getting.

There are three types of men over the age of 40.

Number one, ‘The Never Been Married Man.’

Now he’s not the never been married ‘player guy.’ He’s the never been married guy because he’s been socially challenged his entire life.

He is the guy most likely to commit. The problem is, you’re never attracted to him. He’s what we call the guy in the back room. He’s the guy you notice sometimes, and you wonder why he never comes over and talks to you.

When he does, he’s just a little bit awkward, but he’s really sweet. He is the guy that is absolutely dying for a relationship, a commitment, somebody to build a life with. It’s been something that has eluded him for a long, long time.

Number two, ‘The Perpetual Player.’

He’s they guy who made the decision a long time ago that he wasn’t going to get married. As he’s getting older, he entertains it a little bit, but he will disappear in the blink of an eye.

Things could seem to be going well with him. Then all of a sudden he’ll vanish like a genie in a bottle. The reason is that he knows how to play women, and at the first sign of it becoming a pain to him, he’s going to leave.

Which leads up to the real typical guy that’s out there, and this is the one that I want to spend a lot of time talking about.commit

Number three, ‘The Already Procreated Man.’

He’s already done his primal deed, and now he’d rather lease than own. These are the majority of the men out there. And these are the men you’re running into most of the time.

Lets give you a total prototype of him. He’s in his 40’s or 50’s.

He’s been married, he already has kids.

He’s done.

His kids can be anywhere from five to 25, it doesn’t make a difference. He got out of a marriage in which he felt strangled, sufficated.

The woman played her role, the man played his role. They brought kids into the world, but the man needed his freedom. Why?

Usually he gets tired of being micro-managed.

Of having his balls busted.

He got tired of feeling insignificant, or feeling like a background to the children.

Whatever his list of reasons — he is gone, out of the marriage.

Now this man will tell you he wants a relationship. This man is a relationship guy, but his freedom feels really good. He’s already got the responsibility. He’s probably paying child support. So he doesn’t really want to own anything else. When he owned something — and I’m using the term very loosely — it didn’t pay the dividends that he was looking for.

With his freedom, he gets to have sex, he gets to hook up. He meets women that are younger, more fun, less inhibited.

He knows he can’t have a relationship with them, but he enjoys what they’re about.

And then he meets you. You’re age appropriate for him, give or take five years.

You’re what he should be with. Except you, you’re wound so tight now, because most women over the age of 40 are wound extremely tight.

You want to be able to cohabitate again. You may have kids, but your view of a relationship is different than his. Your relationship did not work.

Your relationship left you feeling unsatisfied, or maybe craving a deeper connection.

You liked feeling protected by a man. You’d like to come home to him.

You’re emotionally ready for it. Whatever the reasons are, you’re there.

But here’s the problem.

He is enjoying his freedom. He likes leasing, not owning. He likes the fact that, if a woman reminds him of his ex, and immediately starts to bust his balls in any way, or gets too heavy with the commitment too quickly, because she needs it, wants it, desires it — he knows he can leave.

And this is what happens. It’s primal.

You see, once a man has given his sperm, and the sperm has gone to the egg, and the children are born, he has performed his primal duties on this planet. Most of the time, men don’t want to start a second family. If they do, it’s usually by accident, or with a younger woman.

But once a man has gone through the emotions and gone through the primal being, he feels good to be free. In nature, when an older man is running free, he feels more alive again. He’s starting to feel like the high school boy that he used to be.

And that’s where he starts to crave that coolness factor all over again.

He enjoys sleeping with multiple women. He enjoys the fact that he’s able to get an occasional younger woman. He feels validated. He feels cool. And there’s no way he’s settling down again, unless he meets the coolest woman ever. A woman who doesn’t remind him of his ex. The minute he’s reminded of his ex, he’s immediately triggered, and he’ll run.

The woman needs to remind him of how he felt back in high school. Where he feels like the captain of the football team again. Where he feels free.

You see, that’s how you get a man. You don’t get a man by reminding him of how mature he is. You don’t get a man by being oh-so-serious all the time. You get a man by being the absolute coolest woman he’s ever met in his life. You go back to being fun, because lots of women over the age of 40 have stopped being fun. You’re so serious.

You don’t want to make a mistake. You don’t want to waste time. And you’re playing scared. When you date scared and play scared you’re not going to get what you want.

These men that are out there that have already done their primal deeds, that have already fulfilled family needs, that have already supported the woman. They’re looking for a playmate. No, not a playboy centerfold, but a woman who is cool and fun — a woman like the one they met a long time ago.

It could have been their first wife. Or their girlfriend from high school.

Remember when you were younger and you met someone? You started hanging out. The next thing you know you told each other you loved each other and you were boyfriend and girlfriend. There was no heavy-duty talk.

There was no — what is your intention, talk.

There was no what do you mean by this, what do you mean by that.

There was no playing games. Well there was, but they were a different set of games. There was no holding out.

We were there in primal emotion. Those primal emotions are what men are looking for all over again. We want to feel that. It’s almost like one last hurrah. We want to go back and have that goosey feeling that we had when we were in high school.

That feeling of being in love with the coolest woman we’ve ever met. And now we can do it as adults, which is even more fun.

But many women are wound too tight. They’re constantly over thinking, over battling their brain and trying to make things right. They’re so into having to talk. No sex before monogamy. A relationship needs to be determined before sex.

They listen to all the rules and they’ve been conditioned by society.

I’m going to tell you right now. It’s time you broke all those rules. By breaking the rules you’re going to understand men. When he already has everything he wanted, he’s already experienced or he’s accepted what he is in this world.

In order to get that man you need to be that girl again.

That cool girl, that girl that is light and fun. That girl who doesn’t talk about what this means. That girl that does not consistently talk about how much time she’s wasting or how little time she has left so she doesn’t want to waste it on the wrong guy.

When you act like that, which most women do, you’re going to end up getting the wrong guys because you’re going to turn them off. Men are primal. They want to feel that amazing connection again. But it has to be simple and easy and not complicated.

Hopefully this makes sense to you and gives you a different definition of what men are all about. I want all of you to find love, to experience love. But it has to be done based on our primal instincts as men and women.

If we feel like we’ve claimed you and we feel like we’ve met the coolest woman in the world, we’re never going to let you go. But if you have an emotional break down and have to have “the talk”, with the guy too early, he vanishes.

Think about it the next time you get involved with a guy and pass this article on to many others, because I want to help all of you understand men.