the relationship talkSo, you’re dating someone.


The relationship seems to be going well. You’re having sex. You’re hanging out a couple nights a week. You like the pace exactly where it is. She doesn’t bust your balls. She doesn’t make you talk about feelings or anything. She seems like the coolest girl you’ve ever met.

One night she comes over. You’re on the couch. You’re talking. You’re fooling around a little bit, but you can feel she’s not really into it as much as she was the last time. You figure maybe she’s just having an off night. Then all of a sudden, she says the two-letter word that could end this great thing you have.

She utters the word, “So…”

So! So! So!

You hear it in your head over and over again. The word keeps ringing in your brain. What comes after “so?”

We’ve all heard it.

“So, where are we going with this “thing” of ours?”

Thing is almost always in quotes. Sometimes she’ll actually take her fingers and make the quote sign with the word… “thing.”

The great little thing you had going is now turning into something, and if you notice the word something, it starts with SO. She needs a definition. She needs to know if the so. The ‘me’ thing is going to become a ‘we’ thing. She wants to know what this something is. She wants to have the talk.

The standard guy answer in this situation is, “Oh, babe, we’re fine. We’re good. You know, I just love hanging out, getting to know you.”

What Should You Say When She Wants “The Talk?”

We really don’t enjoy talking about our feelings or being forced into it and prefer to do it on our own, which most of the time with men is never. So, what do you do? You weren’t prepared for this.

When you’re not prepared for things it’s really difficult to have a conversation. You need to prepare for it over and over inside your brain, and go through the different scenarios. What do you do when she uses the word ‘so’?

You might as well just be honest with her, because it’s never going to be the same. You see that cool girl, who was just banging you, having fun with you, but wasn’t asking for anything, well guess what?

Those free sex days are now over.

She wants to know what this “thing” is. She needs a definition. She’s been with her clique of friends, and they all probably asked her, “What are you doing with him? When are you going to figure this out with him? When is he going to step up? Are you in a relationship? Are you a couple? What are you doing?”

Guy friends don’t do that. We’re just high fiving each other, and saying, “Hey man, life’s great, I’m getting laid and she hasn’t asked for anything.”

We love that!

But you’re going to have to give her the answers she needs because unless you define it, you’re not going to get the booty anymore. So if you think you’re just going to be able to manipulate things to keep getting the booty the way it is, it’s not going to work. She may have sex with you one more time or two more times, but she’s going to start putting so pressure on you.

Once that pressure is on, you have no choice but to come clean. Yes, it might ruin what you enjoyed as a booty call. It might destroy what you felt was the perfect relationship, but you have to give her what she wants. It’s only fair.