New Year’s Eve.

What are you doing?

Are you going to end the year with a bang?

Are you going to meet the woman of your dreams that you haven’t met all the other 364 days of the year?

New Year’s Eve is amateur night all the way.

It’s ridiculous. People should be asking each other, “So what are you doing Monday night?”

Well, considering the fact Monday night football doesn’t happen anymore, I probably will be just chilling out, staying home and relaxing.

It’s one night, so if you want, sure, go ahead, go and chase the night.  Chase it with friends.  Stuff your wallet full of money because all the bars, restaurants, and clubs will charge four times the amount just for the same drinks, the same music, and the same girls.

And the whole irony of New Year’s Eve happening on Monday night is that Mondays are usually the worst nights in the bar and restaurant industry, so they’re salivating right now.

They won’t let you know, but they’re begging you for business most Mondays.

But I digress.

I remember the last New Year’s Eve I went out on. I was searching for the person to kiss five minutes before midnight.  Here I am searching, running through the party, looking for somebody.  All of a sudden I’m hearing the count down begin. People are coupling up all around me.

A cute voice behind me starts counting softly, “…six, five, four…”

I’m thinking, “Yes, here she is.  That hot girl I’ve been looking for all night.”

I turn around and I’m staring directly at a four foot eleven inch chubby girl.  (Nothing wrong with chubby girls that are 4’11” if that’s your thing.)

She gave me a big smile.  She had a big gap in her teeth.  I’m looking at this thinking to myself, “No chance in hell am I kissing this woman.”

She grabs me at the count of zero, jams her tongue down my throat, looks at me and says, “Happy New Year!”

And that was the last time I went out.

So, folks, don’t be like I was. It’s just one night.  That’s all it is.  It’s amateur night.  Go pick some friends, play some games, hang out, talk to each other, have some fun.

But don’t to chase the night because nothing different’s going to happen at all.

Happy fucking new year.