Tis the season to be horny.

Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la.

Tis the season to give orgasms.

Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la.

Oh, we all are sexual people.  We should be giving each other pleasure this holiday season.

Alright.  Maybe it’s a stretch.  But then again, is it?

As we search for the perfect gift for our partner, our lover.

Our husband, our wife.

What if I told you the perfect gift would be a horny you under the tree half naked in a bow?

You know those Lexus commercials, the December to Remember, where all of a sudden, somebody gets a Lexus with a bow in their driveway?

But that’s more stuff.

And we have so much stuff already.  We’re full of stuff.  Look at your house.

Look around your house.  It’s full of stuff.

When you go shopping for your significant other, look at all the stuff that they have.  You’re just going to buy them another pair of sneakers, another pair of socks.

You’re going to buy them more of the same stuff they already have.  How about if they stuffed you?

What about if you gift-wrapped yourself?  What if you took a night and the present was one night away from the kids, if you have a kid?

If you don’t have kids, what about a hotel deal?  Because during the holiday season, a lot of hotels have great discounts for you to go and spend a night.  So what if you got a great night at a sweet little hotel? And the whole night consisted of:

Being horny with each other.

Taking baths.

Buying massage oils.

Giving them that gift, a night in a hotel, massage oils, and maybe even if you’re looking for your woman, throw in a sex toy as well, and have an amazing night that you’ve never had in so long.  Forget about all the junk and the garbage and the stuff.  The best gift to give is the gift of sex.

Give them a December to Remember.

According to Mercedes-Benz, they always tell you a December to Remember, but you really don’t really love that car past that time that you get it.  It’s just another car.  They’re all the same.  I’ve driven them.
I’ve owned them.
What about if you gave them a December to Remember?  What if the 12 days of Christmas were the 12 nights of incredible, ridiculous, hot and horny sex?
That’s a December to Remember.
Alright, folks, try it out.