For those of you who live in California, right now, you may be thinking that I’m talking about the absolutely ridiculously delicious In’N’Out burgers and French fries, some of the greatest food you’ll ever eat from a fast food restaurant.

I don’t eat fast food, but I will eat In’N’Out.

I remember when I used to drive to Las Vegas. The highlight of that trip was the In’N’Out Burger on the way home. I looked forward to it more than anything. The smell, the feeling, the just taste of every single burger. As I’m writing this, I can almost taste the burger and the fries right now and smell the delicious aroma of walking into an In’N’Out Burger for the very, very first time.

But I’m not talking about In’N’Out Burger.

Nor am I talking about the sex that some of you have. You know who I’m talking about, Mr. in-and-out man.

The guy that literally is in, and he’s almost out as quickly as he was in. We’ve called them minute men. We’ve called them One Pump Chuck.

We might as well just call him in and out man.

Because he’s most likely in and out so quickly so he can go to In’N’Out Burger.

I’m trying to tie all this stuff together, as you can see, to get to my magical point that I’m about to tell you right now.

In and out, or really, preferably put, in or out.

Are you in, or are you out?

It’s a conversation that so many people who are single and dating fear.

They’re so afraid to talk to somebody that they’re dating.

They’re so afraid to rock the boat.

Ruin the relationship.

Afraid of what the person may say.

Afraid of the outcome. So they’d rather hang out in what I call fast food dating limbo, eating the little scraps from the $0.99 burger place day in and day out when you’re truly craving the best damn steak you can possibly have.

In or out.

The conversation people are terrified to have, but it’s my favorite conversation. Are you in, or are you out?

As far as I’m concerned, I am a gift. When I date somebody, I am going to put in 100% of my effort.

I can’t help it. I’m a warm, emotional, romantic mush. That’s the reason why I went into the dating business in the first place.

But there’s also a side of me that can be a pretty tough negotiator and somebody who doesn’t stand for shit.

But in reality, when it comes down to my love life, I’m either in or out.

When I’m 75% in, it means that I’m really 100% out.

I know, when I’m 90% in, it really, truly equates to me being 100% in. I know, if I’m 95% in, I’m actually 100% out.

You can’t have a relationship with one foot in and one foot out, yet so many people do.

You can’t have a relationship with somebody who’s not 100% committed to getting to know you. What’s the harm of getting to know somebody? What’s the harm of putting time in with the right person? In or out.

So, if you’re with somebody right now, and you just feel like they’re not 100% emotionally vested and you truly are, then you need to have the difficult conversation that you’ve been avoiding.

The conversation of whether they’re in or out. There’s no ifs, ands and buts about it.

You can go and hang out with your friends, and you can speculate the things that they said.

You can sit back and listen to your friend, June, who literally told you that you need to give him more time because he said this and that.

You can rehash every single moment. But the bottom line is, if you do not feel like somebody is 100% committed to you and they’re not 100% into your amazingness, then you need to have the conversation called in or out.

You might as well go and have it in an In’N’Out Burger place, but don’t have it after having in or out sex. All right. Had to tie it back together at the end.

But you know where you’re at, and if this blog post is resonating with you, then I strongly suggest you have the in or out conversation immediately. The longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be. And if you’re waiting for them to change or waiting for some magic to happen that’s going to literally bring you two together, it doesn’t work.

Because I tried that. I remember I was dating this girl, Holly, when I was in my 20s. I wanted her to be in so badly. She just wouldn’t do it. So I literally would play songs on my answering machine, the seeds of love.

That’s right. I figured, if she called me up, and she heard it, she would literally think about and falling in love with me because the seeds of love were planted.

But I finally had the in or out conversation with her. And guess what she told me? She didn’t want to hurt me anymore. She was out. So I went home, and I changed the voicemail greeting. It no longer had the seeds of love on it. It had The Brady Bunch theme song.

Because I needed a little comic relief. And I also realized that I survived that moment in time. It’s time for you to all have the in or out conversation .