friend-zoneI call it the mini van of life.

I can’t wait for 2017, because I learned a valuable lesson in 2016.

I was thrown in the friend zone more this year than I ever in my entire combined 50+ years on this planet.

Some of you might be thinking, wow is that what happens when you get old or do you lose gain? Do you lose confidence? Do you lose persuasion skills? Do you lose sex appeal?

No, you lose the conquest. You’re looking for real. You see, I’ve met some beautiful, amazing women that have thrown me in the friend zone. I literally feel like I’ve been thrown into the mini van of dating.

Let’s throw this aging rock star back into the mini van and have him basically sit there and twiddle his thumbs.

I coined the phrase “There’s no place like youth,” wanting to click my red shoes together, and take me back to Kansas, and hopefully find the Wizard of Oz.

But in reality, a friend of mine really told me something very interesting.

I’ve always been really super attracted her. She’s a dynamo. She’s small, she’s petite, she’s sexy.

She’s so much fun to be around.

The first time I met her, I was super attracted to her. But I didn’t feel it, and that to me was definitely conflicting in my mind.

She’s everything physically that I want, but yet I didn’t really feel it. I felt her and I felt her energy, and we could talk for days at a time. But I didn’t really feel her at all.

I started to think, maybe there’s something wrong with me, maybe I need to be more touchy feely.

Maybe I need to come onto her a little bit more, or hug her a little bit more. Maybe try to kiss her.

Because those are the things that always worked for me in the past: get physical with somebody, then immediately take them on a romantic journey. But I couldn’t push myself there. I’ve been out on so many dates in 2016, and all I can think about with these women is friends. As a matter of fact, 95% of the women that I think I’ve met and dated, all I wanted to do is have a friendship with them. And you know what? It’s probably the first time in my life that I’m being really genuine about that.

Granted, I want a relationship. I’d love to meet somebody. It’d be great to cuddle and snuggle and do all those amazing things again, have great sex. But…

I don’t want to do it for the sake of just doing it. I want something that’s real. I’ve been single for 3+ years now, almost three and a half, and I’ve done it for a reason. So I can meet somebody who is my high vibrational equal. I don’t want to have to convince somebody, I don’t want to have to come onto them, make them feel things, take them down a romantic journey that may or may not work. So it’s my energy going out there. For the first time in my life, my heart is leading. Not my seduction skills, not my head, my heart. I’m not looking at somebody as a physical specimen where I could literally go and manifest what I wanted out of them because they were so hot physically. It didn’t matter what they said in their mind. I listened to some of it, and then I’d create a story afterwards.

Now, I’m just listening to people, and you know what? Most of the vibe and most of the energy that I’m getting from people is to be friends. I make jokes about it, and tell them that I’m old and wise and maybe I should wear a Santa cap and beard year-round, and just grant wishes. But in reality, I’m just weeding through people to open the door, that sliding door of life, for the woman I’m meant to be with for my next relationship, for my next great love. A love that I’ve never experienced before, because that’s what it’s all about.

As each person throws you into the friend zone, they’re actually doing you a favor because the relationship would never turn into anything more than just that. See, I learned that lesson a long time ago. Jessica was a woman that I’d married a long, long time ago. Jessica was this bartender. She was the only girl in New York City I could not have. That’s how big my ego was, and that’s how confident I was in my 20’s.

So, one night, we had a moment. She told me she was in love with me. I immediately created a story, because I was into stories. I was always looking for signs, romantic signs, and there was no better sign than this.

It was Christmas time, it was snowing, it was cold. Jingle bells were in the air, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra Christmas songs. So I never really was super physically attracted to, and I decided it was time for us to be together. Three months later, she broke up with me because she said she can’t see us being more than friends. I pursued her, convinced her with my persuasive skill and we ended up being together for three more years.

And you know what? We didn’t fit.

I’ve grown up a lot. So when any of these women throw you into the friend zone, and they put you into the mini van of life, thank them for it. They’re doing you a favor. They’re not allowing you to create a “you and them” story. They’re allowing you to go and meet somebody else. It’s a beautiful thing, so thank them for it.