I was talking to a buddy of mine today.

Every time I talk to him, I always ask him what’s going on in his life. How’s his girlfriend that he doesn’t want to be with anymore? Typical conversation like that.

He told me that he finally did it. After three years of being in the relationship, and two years of not wanting to be there, he finally stepped up to the plate and talked to her about how he felt.

He was expecting that she would say she felt the same way. Instead, her answer to everything he said was that she loved him, and she wanted to make it work.

The answer that he wanted to hear was, “I feel the same way, let’s break up.” He was already thinking before he talked to her about where he was going to live and if he needed a roommate. If he could find another apartment. How he had gotten the lease on this one.

So what did he do? When he hit the pillow that night, he felt, well, like a pussy.

You see, he’s now back in the relationship. A relationship that has absolutely no passion. A relationship that he’s not into. The woman doesn’t even want children, yet he’s in this relationship with her.

It’s amazing what we do and how many years we can spend with somebody we don’t want to be with.

I looked at my friend. I said, “you’ve been with her for three years. You know it’s going absolutely nowhere.

“You’re in the prime of your life right now. You’re like an NFL quarterback who’s playing on a bad franchise and you keep signing contract after contract hoping they hire the right coach.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been there. I’ve been in a relationship where I tried to break up, and I was too much of a pussy.1.2

And by being a pussy and by acting like a pussy, guess what happened? I stayed in that relationship for another year or two or even three years. A relationship I knew was going nowhere. A relationship I knew wasn’t going to satisfy me, and I knew the person wasn’t going to make the changes to become the person I needed or desired them to be.

We’ve all done it. We’ve all been there. Where we stay in a relationship for too long.

We stay for the sake of the children.

We stay for the sake of not being alone.

We stay for the sake of the apartment that we like, and don’t want to pay the rent on our own.

The list goes on and on. But there are really no excuses here.

You see, we only get to dream big once in our life. We only get to live this life one time and one time only. We never know when we’re going to vanish from this earth and we never know where we’re going to go.

Yet all of us stay in relationships that are far too broken to fix. Because we’re afraid. Or as my friend said, we’re pussies.

And he, by the way, my friend the pussy, has absolutely no excuse.

They don’t have any kids together. They don’t even own property together. He’s just letting his life pass him by because he’s too afraid to break up.

Now I know breaking up is hard to do. There was a Neil Sedaka song about it in the 50’s, about how breaking up is hard to do.

I know you don’t want to hurt the other person, because nobody wants to hurt someone. That’s always part of our excuse. We say when we’re trying to break up that we want to break up but we don’t want to hurt the other person. In reality, we are hurting the other person!

We are not allowing them to go free. The fact is they also know the relationship is not going to work out, but we try so hard to hang onto relationships for such a long period of time. And we do so because were so afraid of letting go.

Elsa had it right. Let it go.

Remember the movie Frozen? Let it go.

Step up, be a man. Don’t stay in a relationship you know is a dead end. Our life is short.

Love, real love, is just around the corner. It’s going to be there for you, it’s going to be there for her. So allow each other the space, the opportunity, to find that love.

If you love somebody, you’ll let them go. Isn’t that a song by Sting? Free, Free, Set Them Free. Something like that.

Real true love is loving yourself, honoring yourself, honoring the other person, allowing them to find happiness, the happiness that you can’t give them. The happiness that you guys cannot create together.

So let them go.

That was my advice to my friend as I sat with him today, as he sucked down his coffee.

I said let her go. You’re an amazing person. You’re a great guy. She’s an amazing woman. You’re just not amazing together. So go find amazing, because amazing wants to find you.

You’re telling the universe that you don’t deserve amazing. You’re telling the universe that you don’t believe you can find amazing. You’re telling the universe that you will compromise in all aspects of your life.

Let them go.