poison pool david wygant dirtyDo you know what a poison pool is?

No, it’s not the little kiddies pool that’s 100 degrees warmer than the adult pool.

It’s the divorced man’s least favorite pool to swim in.

It’s a pretty mean pool.

It usually goes something like this:

You’re one-year removed from your divorce; you think everything is good.

Your ex-wife has actually been treating you really well: the text jabs have been minimal and even the voicemail messages have been good—things with the kids are rolling along great.

You feel like everything is finally coming to a head.

And you feel like now this is the time that you can maybe date one of her hot friends that you’ve been eyeing.

As a matter of fact, you’re in the park one day, playing with little Johnny.  Her friend is playing with little Jimmy.

Your think to yourself, “Things are calm in my life right now, nothing’s going wrong. I can make this happen.”

So you walk over there.  She flirts with you, you flirt with her.  You’ve got this vibe, this energy, this connection—it’s absolutely amazing.

You think to yourself, “Finally things are calm enough. Finally I can bang her. I’ve dreamt about it for so long. I remember when I was married, I was thinking about this endlessly…”

So you get her number.

Happy as a bee in the springtime, you come home to three missed calls—all from your ex.

You think to yourself, “What is wrong with little Johnny right now?  Why did my ex call me three times in the span of 20 minutes?”  

Your heart starts to beat super fast.

You begin to play the first message:

“Don’t you even think about going out with my friend…”

The rest of the message is like from a crazed mad woman.

You can hear her breathing heavy, pacing.  You decide to listen to message two and message three.  You think there’s got to be something positive in this.

There’s not.

She goes on and on and on before hanging up in anger.

So what do you do?

You call her friend.

But you don’t hear back…

The reason why is because you’ve found a pool so full of poison that the kiddie pool is a refreshing sip of water on a hot summer day in comparison.

Her friends may look great, but your ex still has her claws into her little network.

So, good luck, and try to stay out of the poison pool.