don't be a playerIt was an interesting day for me today. I went for an audition for a new dating TV show. In case you’re wondering it’s not unusual for TV companies to call me up when they want a dating expert on board. Anyway, these guys wanted to fill the role of the “Badass” or the “Player.” We had a really interesting conversation for an hour during the audition, where I helped them define exactly what a badass and a player is, and the differences between the two.

A player is exactly that. A player is a guy who plays with women for his own benefit. A player has so many insecurities and fears; he uses women to help validate himself. He wants to look like a big man, and to show other guys he can get laid.

Players are all about using women for sex, and the sex is usually all about them, not the woman. Players have such low esteem, the only way they can make themselves feel significant is to sleep with as many women as they can. It’s sad really. Players aren’t cool. Players aren’t evolved. Players aren’t masculine. There’s nothing clever about using someone and discarding them without a care for their feelings.

It’s Never Cool To Use Women!

A badass is different. A badass is a man who’s secure and successful. But success doesn’t mean the amount of money they have. It’s how happy they are within themselves. Success is all about enjoying your life, loving your experience, and loving the people, men and women in it.

A badass is someone who believes that through all the relationships he has with women, he grows emotionally and spiritually. A badass respects women. A badass is there for his friends. His friends look up to him. He’s a man of his word. You can trust a badass because he’s authentic and real. He isn’t trying to get one up on you like a player does. People want to be around a badass.

It was interesting because I’d never thought about the differences between a player and a badass before. I don’t ever want people to know me as a player, and neither should you. It’s not a good reputation to have. To me, every person I meet is an opportunity to grow as a man. Every woman you meet gives you an opportunity to become strong, more powerful, and to share. Stop looking at meeting women as a game where the numbers are all that matter. Women don’t validate you and never will. Live life as a badass and you’ll always be inspired.

Live life as a badass and you’ll always be in tune with yourself. Players have no identity or sense of self. That’s half their problem. They’re looking for validation that they’re desirable, amazing men, but deep down, they have no idea who they are as men. I’m telling you right now, that is a horrible way to live.

I want you all to be badass, not players!