You get into a fight with your boyfriend, your husband, your lover.

You can go to the emergency room after you get into a fight. You can walk in and say to yourself, say to the nurse or the doctor on duty, “Listen my boyfriend and I or my girlfriend and I got into a massive fight.

My anxiety levels are through the roof.

My heart feels broken.

I feel like I want to die.

I have shortness of breath. What do you suggest?”

Is there some medicine you can take?

Western medicine, being exactly what it is, would probably give you exactly what you wanted. Some type of pill with some massive side effects.

Let’s call it Heart-Be-Cured.

They’d give you Heart-Be-Cured and your heart would feel better, the anxiety would go away.

You would be on your way again. The problem is you would have side effects, diarrhea, shaky leg syndrome.

Thinning or loss of hair.

The list would just go on and on. Because we know that, whenever you get a pill for something, it cures one thing and gives you 17 other diseases.

That’s the beauty of western medicine.

So when you have a fight with your boyfriend, I don’t think western medicine is the way to go.

So what shall a torn lover do?

Well you’ve got to look at the fight in two ways.

a) Your responsibility.

b) Their responsibility.

What could you have done different?

How were you triggered in the fight?

What did they say that actually made you feel a certain way?

You say the loaded gun is always pointed toward you.

This one thing may be what triggered you…

In my five decades on this planet earth, I have found that, whenever I got into the fight with somebody, it was usually triggered by things I felt in the past.

It wasn’t exactly what they did, but it’s what memories would come up for me.

The emotions, the memories that would come up from that fight.

You see, we all suffer from PTSD.

It stands for post traumatic stress disorder.

Or, if we really want to change it to the world of dating and relationships, it could be called PTED.

No, not post traumatic erectile disorder (though that will definitely be a side effect of a fight). It’s called post traumatic ex disorder.

It’s the baggage from your past that haunts you.

Whenever we fight (unless you are a relationship virgin), you’ll get into a fight from something that will make you bring back memories from the way you were treated before.

Some of us have been with narcissists.

Others of us have been with people who just ripped us apart emotionally on so many different levels.

Others of us have been with self centered people.

Others of us have been with physically abusive people who abused us.

Others have been with people who have absolutely disappointed us left and right.

There are so many different people that we’ve been with on so many different levels.

So when it comes down to a fight, you need to look and see what you caused what you said.

How you over reacted.

What you did when you over reacted.

If you tried to stop it but the text messages kept coming in.

You need to figure out exactly why you feel that way and go deep into why you feel that way.

Anyway, in order to get past a fight, you need to be able to talk to one another. Figure out a solution the next time a fight starts, or when a fight is about to start. Figure out how to stop that fight before you go into the land of triggerville.

You know what the land of triggerville is. It’s when everything comes up from all your past relationships and all of a sudden it comes and gets dumped on this new person.

Figure it out. Literally call a time out. We do it with our children. Time out. You’re being an ass.

In my new home study course, The Love Blueprint, I dedicate an entire volume to triggers and stories from the past, and I teach you how to literally call a time-out and come to terms with your triggers so that you can live and love and communicate in the present without being triggered.

So I highly recommend you check it out here:

We need to do it when we’re in a fight with somebody. Call a time out. That’s all you need to do. Call a time out. Take a deep breath. Breath deeply three times. Blow the air out three times.

From that point on, figure out exactly what you’re feeling, why you’re triggered and what’s happening.