This morning I was thinking to myself, “It’s the end of June. You know what that means — prom season.” Now, I know that prom season is earlier nowadays, but my prom was at the end of June (so I always think of that time of the year as prom season).

Think how much fun this would be. You go and buy a corsage for your woman. You make her buy a dress from Forever 21 (as all the dresses from there look like prom dresses). You rent a really bad tux . . . and you crash a prom.

Forget about wedding crashers, I want to be a prom crasher. How much fun would it be to go dance the night away to a really bad 80s cover band?

You could be the one who brings the booze (because you’re the only one there who can legally buy alcohol), and you could spike the punch. Just think what a hero you would be at your prom. 

For those of you who had a bad prom experience, this could be your chance at redemption. If you were the guy in the corner who was sitting there basically miserable, or if you were the girl who didn’t get asked to dance, then think about the instant popularity you’d garner by being the one who brings the booze and spikes the punch.

You are going to finally be popular! All the kids are going to look at you say, “Dude, you are so cool!” You will be the “it” person at the prom.

You’ll get to dance with the prom queen (or king). Your date is going to get so turned on, because it’s going to take them back to high school and they’re going to realize that they are with the cool person who spiked the punch. 

How much fun would this all be? I know most of you saw the movie Wedding Crashers which was really funny, but prom crashing brings back a lot of memories with it.

You can rent a cheesy limousine, and pick up your date in it. Then, after the prom, you can invite everybody back to your house and party.

Even more fun than that, why not bring your date back to your parents’ house. Your parents will be sitting there watching television, and when you come in they’ll say “You kids can go down to the basement as long as you leave the lights on.”

Did it really matter if the lights were on or not? I remember my parents would always give me the “as long as the lights are on” stipulation. You could of course still hump with the lights on. Parent mindset is so funny. It’s like they think to themselves, “We’re parents. We’ve been having sex for the last eighteen years. We’re not attracted to each other anymore, and we turn the lights off so we don’t have to see each other.”

That’s how parents are. They forget about the fun days when a naked body was something amazing to look at, and you actually wanted to see your partner naked. They forget what it’s like to look at someone and marvel at how good they look naked. Parents think that if you leave the lights on, then nothing sexual is going to happen.

Actually Motel 6 leaves the light on, too, so if you have a little extra cash at the end of your prom date you can take your date to the Motel 6. Motel 6 also probably thinks that nothing sexual happens there, because who the hell would have sex on those rough sheets?

Anyway, how much fun would that be to re-live your prom? What a great date idea.

Now, I wouldn’t suggest you go to the prom by yourself to try and meet people, because then you look like “Chester, Chester The Child Molester.” You don’t go to a prom looking for dates, unless of course you’re one of my young readers (I’ve got a lot of guys reading this blog who are 17 and 18 years old). If that’s you, then why not put on a tux and go crash a prom?

Just think if you did that. All the kids would be trying to place who you are. People would be whispering, “Is that Joe who dropped out? Oh my God, we haven’t seen him since 9th grade!”

Now, if I can just convince my girlfriend how much fun it would be for her to put on that awful dress again, for me to put on my awful tuxedo and for us to actually go and crash a prom. Anybody want to join?