Sometimes I like to write my blogs as I walk Daphne on the beach in the morning. As it’s Monday, I always get up really early because my lovely girlfriend teaches class and I have to make her breakfast (no comments please!).

So since I was up early, I went out to take a nice peaceful walk on the beach. My peaceful walk this morning was ruined, however, by the man with the leaf blower. Yes, there was a man with a leaf blower who was blowing sand off my neighbor’s property.

If you think about it, shouldn’t the beach really be one of the places in the world where you’re sure to be able to avoid leaf blowers? I mean it’s the beach and it’s always windy. So even if you blow the sand off of something, it’s only going to blow back on it a little while later.

For some reason, though, Los Angeles seems to have men with leaf blowers everywhere you go (seeming to many times be blowing nothing at all). You can’t avoid them. I’m going to petition Arnold in the Governor’s mansion to change the state flag to have a man with a leaf blower on it.

Why in the world do you need to have someone blowing sand when you live on the beach? Yeah, that’s what I want to do with my money – spend $10.00 an hour having someone blow sand around the beach that the wind is just going to blow right back where it was. Well, I guess that proves that the power of the wind is more powerful than the power of the man with the leaf blower.

This is also a big week for me. No its not Shark Week on The Discovery Channel . . . but it’s “Mommy Week” here in the Wygant household. You see, my girlfriend’s mother is coming to visit for a couple weeks.

I know some of you are getting flashes from King Of The Hill, Everybody Loves Raymond, The Simpsons, All In The Family and The Jeffersons. Didn’t Weezie’s mother-in-law hate her guts? Anyway, this is the start of “Mommy Week” for me.

Now it was going to be the beginning of “Mommy Bootcamp” (as my right hand “man” Kristen coined it), because my Mom was also supposed to be visiting this week. Why not, right? Might as well have all the mommies here at once. My Mom got a bad back, though, and decided that flying would make it even worse.

So starting Wednesday we won’t have Shark Week, we’ll have Mommy Week. I’ve already met my girlfriend’s mom and had a great time with her. It looks like I’m going to have a new assistant for the next couple weeks, though, so if I start sounding like a southern woman you’ll know why!

On a more pertinent note and a topic that I really think fits my train of thinking today.

Has anyone ever said to you (or have you said to yourself), “You’re so uptight, what’s with that stick in your ass”?

Here’s the thing that most people need to learn: go with the flow. I’m not talking about your woman’s menstrual cycle, or the flow that comes when your stomach is upset – I’m talking about going with the flow in life.

Sometimes you’re in a conversation with someone and you’re really wanting to get your point across, and then the conversation changes direction. You need to learn to just go with the flow!

If you’re in a cheese shop, talking about cheese, and you really want to talk about this great recipe you have – and then all of a sudden someone barges into the conversation and changes the direction of it, go with the flow! You don’t want to stand there and think, “Damn, somehow I have to get that recipe out!”

Go with the flow of the conversation. Women will look at you and see that you are flexible and can make changes in an instant.

If you think about it, life is really about going with the flow. If any of you readers have children, you KNOW that life is about going with the flow. One second your kid is sitting there calmly and the next he’s running around in circles like a maniac.

You have to be able to go with the flow and react accordingly in every facet of life. Otherwise, people are going to continue to ask you if and when you’re going to remove that stick from your ass!
And during “Mommy Bootcamp” this man is going to go with the flow everyday!