writing on the wallA friend of mine called me the other day, complaining his girlfriend had finally given him an ultimatum. Either they got married and had a kid, or it was over. IOK told him it was about time she gave him an ultimatum. He looked at me and said, “You’re not taking my side?”

“Of course not,” I said. “I think you’re in a dead end relationship. In fact, I think your girlfriend is borderline insane being with you!”

Let me give you the backstory on this relationship. The guy is 44 and dating a 29 year old woman. She’s smoking hot, and super sexy. She’s an incredible woman and he loves the sex. But, she wants to have a family with him.

So what’s wrong with that? He should consider himself lucky to have such an amazing young woman right?

You see my friend doesn’t want another kid!

Yep, that’s right…I said ANOTHER kid.

You see, my “Father of the Year” friend lives 6,000 miles away from his kid. His kid lives in another country.  He sees his kid once every six months for 10 whole days. Yet this woman wants to have a kid with him so badly. Hello! Let’s shake the glass head and break it a little bit. Is she not paying attention to who he is?

This father of the year is 6,000 miles away from his kid, and has been for 8 years. He explained to her he doesn’t want a kid with her, yet she is desperate to be with him and have a kid.  Is anything going to be different?  Doesn’t she see the writing on the wall?

Isn’t she paying attention to anything that he has presented in front of her?  Let’s go to the videotape.

The man is 44, never wanted kids, has one 6,000 miles away, and has told her on thousands of occasions that he doesn’t want more kids. She in turn stays in the relationship thinking she’s going to change or convince him that having a kid with her is a great thing.

She finally gave him an ultimatum after 3 years of being together.  Why?

Why did it take her 3 years to realize something she should have seen in the first 10 minutes of meeting him?

She sold herself a fantasy.

She convinced herself that somehow she was going to be the difference maker, that she could turn him into the right man for her – which he NEVER was.  The writing is always on the wall – you just have to CHOOSE to look at it.

I have no compassion for people that waste so much time with men or women when the writing is on the wall.  He’s got the worst track record for kids in the world.  Sure he’s my friend but he’s the last person I’d want to see have another kid because he’s doing such a bang-up job with his first one.

You see, in 20 years, his daughter who only sees her Daddy twice a year will be reading my blog.  By then I’ll be an old man.  She’ll be dating.  What will she be dating?  You guessed it… older men.  Why?  Because she’ll need father figure. So what did we learn from this blog post?

See the madness presented in front of you.  Stop bringing your desires and wishes to a relationship when deep down you know the man won’t change.  I can’t wait until his daughter buys “What Men Desire” in 20 years while she’s dating her 55 year old guy, and she’s 27 years old.  Thanks to dear old dad, who is a friend of mine, who really is a complete mess!

As for his girlfriend, I told him to give me her number so I can get her to take off her rose colored glasses and see the man that’s in front of her, not some dream of what she wants him to be.