Dear David WygantToday I have a great question that came in from Alex. I want to thank Alex for sending it, but I also what to teach Alex one of the most important lessons in life. Here’s the question, and my response.

“Dear David, I’ve met my dream girl but things aren’t going great. I’ve text her a couple of times to ask her out running and to go see a movie but she keeps saying she’s busy but next time she’ll come. She’s amazing, and we get on really well when we’re together. Should I keep trying with her?”

David Says…

Hi Alex,


He who thinks a dream girl exists is a man that will pay through the nose for the rest of his life. There is no such thing as a dream girl. In fact, they’re all nightmares!

Just kidding about the last part, but I want to make sure I have your attention. When you talk about a “dream girl” you’re saying subconsciously that you’re not worthy of them. You’re saying this girl is “out of your league.”

When you think about it, a dream girl is only your dream girl because you’re infatuated with the way she looks. Your penis is dictating the way you feel. You don’t know this woman for goodness sake, so how can she be your fantasy?

Nobody is your dream girl until you’ve been together a couple of years, and you know she satisfies all your needs, wants, and desires. You need to be sure she’s as amazing and authentic as you think she is. You can’t say some girl you just met at a party and talked to for two hours is your dream girl. She’s nothing man. She’s just your penis’s dream vagina!

So you said you’ve met an “amazing girl” but she keeps putting dates off. Let’s say you’re texting her. You say, “I’m going for a run in the morning. Want to come? I’ll buy you a coffee?”

And she comes back with, “Oh I ran yesterday. I think I’ll give it a miss. Maybe we can do it next week.”

Next week never happens. So you try again with something else. You text, “Come round to mind on Friday and we’ll see what’s on Netflix.”

She comes back with, “I’ve had a long week and I’m really tired. I could maybe come next week.”

This keeps happening, but you keep hanging on in case she does eventually meet up with you because you’re so obsessed with her. You need to give up on a girl like this. You’ve already struck out. It’s not worth it. To me it sounds like you haven’t followed up with her properly anyway. You asked her for a run and she refused. You then offered her a date night and she refused. There’s no conversation. All you’re doing is asking her out.

Life is a continuous conversation. I’ve said it thousands of times. You need to keep the conversation going. Otherwise there’s no connection and she won’t be interested in you. But look, I’d suggest you pass on this girl and move on. To be honest, this isn’t really about whether to keep trying with her or not. This is about you and every other guy who believes in dream girls needing to wake up. There are no dream girls out there. They’re all just women looking to meet a guy. You don’t know if she’s your dream girl until you’ve been with her for at least a year or two.

Then you can say, “After getting to know you for all this time, I can say you’re my dream girl because you do xyz for me, and you make me feel xyz.”

Get to reality guys. Dreamers never succeed. People in reality who work damn hard succeed. Get your head out your ass and get into the game!