Right now, before you read this article —

I want you to think of somebody that you hate.

We all have somebody in our life that really pisses us off.

Somebody who we truly wish we never had to talk to ever again.

Maybe we’ve used words and terms to describe that person.

Right now, I want you to picture that person, the person that pisses you off the most, the person that you said things about to other people about how you feel about them in a very negative way.

All right, good. Do you have the vision of that person? Now, I want you to read, and I want you to understand that there are three reasons why hating somebody is okay, but there’s also solutions to it too so you can let the anger go.

1. I hate (fill in the blank)

I have rarely felt this emotion in my life. There was a time in my life where I hated my father. My father disappointed me unbelievably as a kid, and I hated him in so many different ways.

I called him names and terms and got pissed off.

But he was still my father, and it was okay for me to express those feelings of anger. You see, too many times, we have feelings of anger for somebody, and we don’t express it at all. We don’t vent. We don’t talk. We just keep it inside. So all that hate anger is inside your body. And when hate anger is inside your body, you’re causing illness. Your immune system literally will go down.

You’re causing cancer cells to love it because they love feeding off of hate and anger.

Which leads us to number two.

2. Eliminate that person from your life

I know it sounds simple, and I know, for a lot of you, it’s not easy. Some of you hate your ex-wife or ex-husband. I understand that.

Some of you hate your boss.

I understand that. Some of you hate your parents because of what they’ve done to you, and I understand that.

So what you need to realize is you need to take that hate and accept it. You need to accept the fact that the person that you use negative words to describe is never going to change.

Usually, it takes a while to start to really hate somebody. You’ve tried to explain yourself to that person. You’ve tried to be understood by that person. You’ve tried many different things, but that person never, ever recognizes the things in you that need to be recognized.

Which builds the hate up.

I get that, and I understand that. But what you need to do is you need to realize that this person doesn’t need to be a part of your life at all anymore.

If it’s your parents, you need to realize that you can’t choose your parents, which leads us to number three.

3. Choosing new people

Choosing new people in your life to replace the people that were really driving you nuts and the people that you hate is the best therapy in the world.

You can’t choose your parents, so you have to just accept them for who they are. One of the greatest lessons I ever learned was pretend. Instead of being the hurt little boy or little girl that is literally still going through life with that dagger in their heart, imagine seeing your mom or your dad for the very, very first time going out on a friend date or a date, if they’re the opposite sex. Would you like to be around that person? Get to know them as an adult and really understand that the wounded child is never going to be held the way it needed to be held, loved the way you needed to be loved. So get over it if it’s parents.

If it’s brothers or sisters, it’s the same thing. It just is what it is. Limit your interactions to them about just everyday stuff, the weather, how was their Christmas vacation.

What are they doing this weekend? Don’t go into deep conversations of resolution with somebody because that’s when the hate and the anger comes up.

You’re never going to get resolution with somebody. There’s no such path in life that you get resolution with everybody you have feelings of hate with.

If it’s an ex-wife or ex-husband —

Well, guess what, you’re never going to have feelings of resolution, so just deal with them when it comes down to just the children and everything else, it needs to be thrown out. It will slow you down and not allow love to come into your life because you’ll be triggered by them because you want resolution because you want them to understand you.

And they never will.

If it’s a boss, then just do the work that’s asked of you or get a transfer to another department.

Dealing with it is really important because you need to replace hate with love in your life.

A lot of people will say, love these people, give them love. That’s such a California thing to say.

But I don’t believe in that. You know, I’m big in a lot of the principals of the universe and other things but the fact of the matter is there are just people in your life that you’re just not going to like. So limit the interaction, look for another job.

If you can’t find another job then learn to accept that person and deal with them on just levels you need to deal with them. Don’t go seeking approval.

Your ex-wife, your ex-husband, it’s the same thing. Just learn to deal with them the way you need to deal with them.

Hate, it’s such a wasteful energy. There are people who say hate and love are the only emotions that we have, fear and anger. There are other emotions, but they all tie to hate and love.

Just don’t spend time or energy on this person. They’ll never understand you, you’ll never get the resolution you want, you’ve already tried that. You’ll never get the relationship you need with them so let it go. Limit the interactions and watch how your life will change.