Just trust me. How do those words make you feel? How do you feel when someone says “just trust me” to you?

How do you feel when someone tells you anything? Are you always looking for that loophole? Are you always looking for the untruth in what they’re saying to you? Are you always looking for something that doesn’t feel right? Are you someone who just can’t put yourself out there?

It’s funny. So many people in this world — and I don’t respect any of them — try to teach people to meet the opposite sex by turning them into something (or someone) they’re not. What happens when you follow their advice is that when you meet someone, they aren’t really meeting you.

They’re actually meeting a version of you. It might be the superhero version of you, the fantasy version of you or some other version of you, but in any case it’s not you.

The truth is that if you don’t put yourself 100% out there in life — your convictions, your beliefs and everything about you — you’re not going to get the truth back. If you only put half of yourself out there, you’re going to attract people who only put half of themselves out there. In fact, if you only put half of yourself out there then you will attract the kind of person who will ‘Google’ someone before a date to see if what they’ve been told so far is the truth.

The other day I was interviewed for an article in Cosmopolitan magazine. The interviewer asked me if people should ‘Google’ their dates before going out with them in order to find things out about them. My answer was absolutely not!

One of the most destructive behaviors you can have is to make assumptions about someone before you even talk to them and get to know them as a person. Don’t ever assume someone is going to lie to you before you even get to know them.

There is a dating expert out there for whom I have zero respect (and whose name I won’t mention), who advises everyone to ‘Google’ every person with whom they go out on a date prior to the date. I believe that you should trust people, because if you don’t then you don’t trust yourself.

If you’re somebody who’s ‘Googling’ dates and expecting the worst from people because you don’t trust yourself, then it’s time to make a major change. You have to start putting yourself out there, and you must do it 100% every day. Put yourself out there 100% as to who you are, what you’re all about, your convictions and your beliefs.

You’ve got to stop holding back. So many of you don’t trust based on your past. Do you know where that gets you? You get exactly what you had in your past.

You get in life what you put out. If you don’t learn to trust the moment, then you will constantly be recreating past failures based on your mindset and how you react. You’ve got to learn that you only get who you are.

So for all of you who hate the term “trust me” and who are always looking for that “Aha! I knew you were lying” moment, the reason you feel this way is because you’re not honest with yourself. It’s time to get honest with yourself before you actually go and meet people. It’s time to figure out who you are and what you want, and it’s time to be proud of it.

Now, let me give you one word of caution. Even after you figure out who you are and what you want, you’re still going to screw up when you’re out there meeting people. You’re still going to do things that are going to irritate people. You’re still going to get hurt.

That, though, is what life is all about. Just when you think you got it right, you realize you need to figure it all out again. It never ends. Self-growth is a process that never ends until the day you die.