I was thinking about this question: What does it mean to be someone’s lover?

I’m using the term ‘lover’ generically, but you could fill in the blank with someone’s husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. Let’s use the term ‘lover’ here though.

What does a lover do? A lover loves somebody unconditionally. A lover nurtures and makes the other person feel safe, loved, desired, heard and wanted.

A lover can be your best friend, and technically should be your best friend. Your lover is somebody with whom you can look forward to being and spending private, intense, beautiful and warm moments.

Television is an escape. A better escape is to spend every night drifting off into your lover.

Maybe one night just drift off into each other’s eyes — looking at each other, connecting, talking, and being open and honest with no judgment. Really just embrace each other’s desires, warmth and words.

Another night, maybe just touch one another. Explore each other in ways you you haven’t before, or in ways only you know makes the other person feel amazing.

Think about it. What would you rather do — watch a movie, or spend two hours loving your lover into intense, erotic, totally ‘letting go’ moments?

Maybe another night you ask yourself what your lover really loves, and then you do it for them. That might mean rubbing their head or giving them a back massage or rubbing their feet. Who knows? Some of us are physical, and some of us are mental and just want to be listened to by our lover.


It really comes down to asking yourself this: Would you rather watch television, or would you rather get lost in your lover emotionally, sexually and physically? We have such limited time in our day, and nothing feels better than to let go fully with your lover.

Can you even let go? Do you even know how to let go?

Do you dial into your lover’s energy on a daily basis? Do you think to yourself, “What can I do for my lover today?”

When you have sex, do you give 120%? Do you totally succumb to what your lover is doing, or are you in your head so you start thinking about things?

Letting go with someone and succumbing to them is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. In fact if you did that every single night, then all the tension and the battles and the fights would release.

Respecting each other is very important. You can never have an equal relationship if one person feels less respected or less desired. In that case, you will have a relationship that will not work the way EITHER of you desire.