Something I get asked about all the time is how do you improve your conversation skills, how do you become a better communicator with women, and probably most importantly, how do you move a conversation forward?

For me, knowing how to move a conversation forward past the initial approach is where most guys fall flat. You walk over to a woman, you make an initial observation or whatever your opener was, ask a couple of questions and then… nothing.

The conversation dries up, and you’re left with nothing but a painfully uncomfortable silence. The longer the silence, the more uncomfortable it becomes. The longer the silence the more you start to panic about what to say, and that’s when you’re likely to either say something stupid, or to freak out because your anxiety levels have shot through the sky. I’m going to show you where to go after the initial approach, so you never run out of things to say, and you know where to take the conversation next.

So What’s The Secret To Keeping A Conversation Going?

Let’s say you met a girl in Starbucks. She’s cute. You felt a few jitters but you quickly got over them and had the courage to go and talk to her. You noticed she was looking at the menu so you made a comment about what coffee she was going to get.

“It’s hot outside. I hope you’re going to have something cold. Have you tried the Caramel Frappuccino here? It’s great.” You said.

“I haven’t no. Should I try one?” She replies.

“100% You’ll love it.” You say.

Now you’re not sure how to follow up. Where do you go from here?

Well, you have a couple of options really. You can go on to talk about having cream and sprinkles on top, and ask about what kind of thing she normally gets. Keep your senses sharp because these conversations can get boring really quickly if you keep on them too long. Your best bet is to take the conversation personal. I don’t mean ask her what bra size she is, or about her favorite sex position. I mean, ask her where she’s from and what she does. Start to find out who this woman is. This is where the magic happens. Once you have her talking you need to LISTEN!

I can’t stress this enough. Guys do not listen enough when women are talking. When a woman answers a question, she’s giving you information about herself. She’s telling you where to take the conversation next. All you need to do is to listen and react. Don’t make the mistake most other guys do, which is to spend the whole time trying to think of something clever to say next. Most the time you’ll come out with something random, and she’ll know you haven’t been listening to what she said.

Women love a man who listens to what they’re saying. It shows you’re open and it makes them feel important. Women love to feel like they matter, and like you’re interested in them as a person, and not just a sex object. It’s as simple as coming in with your opener, taking the conversation personal, and then listening and reacting.

Don’t overcomplicate things, and don’t worry about trying to think of something witty. Just go with the natural flow. When it seems like the conversation is reaching a conclusion or one of you is leaving, make sure you close her. Say you had a great time meeting her, and you’d love to grab her number so you can talk again. Don’t do all the hard work of approaching and talking to a woman, if you’re going to let her walk away at the end of it all. If you’re interested in her, take her number!

In the video below, I answer a live Skype question from Larry in the UK who asks about keeping conversations going, and I talk more about how to move a conversation forward. John Keegan also has some great advice to add to the mix too, so listen up and enjoy!