Do you guys remember the movie Animal House?

When the lead character, played by Dean Matheson, walked up to Dean Warner’s wife as she was looking at cucumbers, he grabbed one and said, “Mine is bigger than that.”

She laughed it off and called him a ‘youth’…

…but ended up screwing him the next night.

That line is not far-fetched.

See, in order to meet women in the produce market, you don’t need balls the size of beefsteak tomatoes. You need to be able to think on your feet and be able to use the props to your advantage.

The supermarket is one of my favorite places to meet women.

Some of you, though, have balls the size of cherry tomatoes, and you’re absolutely terrified to talk to a woman anywhere, anyplace, anytime.

Well, guys, it’s time we gave you beefsteak balls and help you get rid of your little cherry tomatoes.

Whenever I see a woman in the produce market, it’s all about senses.

Women are all about smelling, and tasting, and feeling.

So this is why the produce aisle is so much fun for me, because they’re already in sensory overload.

They’re caressing round things. They’re feeling ridges.  They are literally feeling their way through the market.

Think about it.

It’s all about the sense with women—smell, touch, taste. She already is full of senses, and that’s where you come in.

Let’s say for instance that she is grabbing a bunch of broccoli. (But it could be a bunch of anything—doesn’t matter.

You walk over, you grab whatever is next to her, and you look at her and say, “I have no idea. Is this in season right now?” And you do it with a smile.

Or you can look at her when she’s grabbing an unknown spice and say, “Wow, you look like a great cook, what do you use that for?”

And you can begin a conversation with her that way. Tell her how you’ve been searching all over the supermarket for spices but you have no idea what to look for. “Hire” her as your personal chef.

Tease her. Be playful. Have fun. But make her feel.

It’s all about igniting her senses when you’re in the market. It really is that simple.

But a lot of you don’t have balls as big as beefsteak tomatoes. And that’s fine. They don’t have to be huge…

…but you do need balls.