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Can you guess the biggest issue guys have come to me with during all my years coaching?
It’s approach anxiety – The complete crippling fear of approaching a member of the opposite sex. Over the years I’ve heard so much about it, I actually went to the American Medical Association and looked it up. I even asked my doctor if there was really a medical term known as approach anxiety.
He told me there’s no official medical definition of approach anxiety at all. It’s a made up term to describe guys that are too afraid to go and talk to women.
Am I pissing you off yet?
Look, I’m not really trying to sound hard. And it’s not that I don’t understand approach anxiety because I suffered from it immensely too. I remember back in High School I had it so bad, when two of the hottest girls were standing by their lockers I wouldn’t go near them, even though I needed to go that way to class.
I’d walk halfway round the rest of the school just so I could avoid walking past those girls. I’d rather be 15 minutes late for class, than risk either of those girls talking to me. So I understand what approach anxiety is all about, and I’ve cured myself.
I didn’t take any drugs, and I didn’t go to any psychiatrist. I came up with the only cure for approach anxiety I could think of. Do you want to know the cure for approach anxiety?
Drum roll please….
The cure is approaching!
That’s right, you got a fear of heights, you climb a tall building. You got a fear of flying; you go up in an airplane and fly. You got a fear of water; you get in the water and start swimming.
If you have a fear of approaching women, the only thing you can do is approach more of them. But don’t just approach women. You need to start approaching everyone you meet. Just say “Hello” and start talking.
I talk about it in all my products. Observe what somebody is doing, open your mouth, say it, listen, and then connect. You need to go out there and try 100 approaches a week. I don’t care how many times you have to do it, because to get rid of your fear you have to live it. You have to face it time after time until it doesn’t scare you anymore.
You can continue to over analyze yourself. You can continue to live inside your mind, and think about how you could get rid of approach anxiety. Or you could go out there and start taking action yourself.
When I decided I had to get over it, I just went out and approached women. I bit my tongue, I dealt with the sweat, I let my lip tremble, I did everything I possibly could to try to remain calm, but you know what, I went through it. You’re going to go through it too.
If you’re serious about getting over your anxiety you first need to understand it’s a process. There’s no magic wand. You’re going to need to go through a series of steps and challenges, but believe me you’ll get there. I show you step-by-step how to get through this process in The Fearless Code. If you haven’t checked it out yet, I suggest you do HERE.