I want you to look down right now. Wherever you are, look down at your hands, at the table your sitting at or your lap. You might actually be reading this article on the thing I’m asking you to look at.

Today’s modern world is addicted to their smart phones.

When you think about the history of communication, it all started back in the caveman days when cavemen would draw pictures on the cave wall.

If you go to any of the natural history museums, you’ll see these ancient communications. I happen to go on a regular basis with my daughter and I show her all the time what cave communication looked like.

As she looked at a picture of two cavemen running from a dinosaur with spears, she said to me, “Stickers, Dad, those look just like stickers.”

Stickers, to her, are emoticons on the phone. We’ll get to that in a minute.

The History of Communication

So, if you think about the history of communication, we were drawing – making stickers on the wall – and that’s how we communicated.

And that continued for years and years after – we were just drawing stories on walls.

Eventually we got to the point where we had letters that we actually wrote. Words on paper that would be delivered by horseback, covered wagon.

Then we started getting really advanced with something called the telegraph.

A thing that would just hit dots. Just hit little pins and somehow or another, people would be able to figure out what was being said. That, to me, was early texting.

We used to have to dial an operator to communicate to each other.

We finally had phones that were attached to the wall.

Then we got really, really, really cool with our communication. We had something called the cordless phone.

Do you remember all the old Seinfeld episodes with that cordless phone with the big metal antenna coming out of the back? Then we started progressing quickly. Everyone started getting these things called mobile phones. We started talking on mobile phones. We started conserving our minutes on mobile phones with something called unlimited texting.

People started complaining about texting. Why do people text? No one talks anymore.

Especially when it comes down to dating. Women all the time are saying, “Men never call.”

“Why won’t a man pick up the phone and call me? I want to hear his voice!” Chemistry is all about the voice.

Men hide behind texting.

Then, caveman dwelling pictures made a comeback.

Communicating Like Cavemen

Women started falling in love with caveman-like skills in the form of emoticons.

The same women who complained that men were no longer communicating are now sending cave dwelling pictures to guys nonstop. I can’t begin to tell you how many emoticons I get. I will text something to somebody and expect words back, but now the same women who complained about men being lazy are being even lazier.

cavemen communicatingNow, the same women who wanted men to pick up the phone and communicate with actual talk don’t even bother writing words. They give you a thumbs-up.

A caveman drawing.

Next, a smiley face with a bullet or a heart.

Emoticons are being used by women all over the world, just like the cavemen used to use paintings on a wall. We no longer need to write anything; we can have an entire emoticon conversation.

As a matter of fact, I tried dating somebody recently and she emoticoned me to death. I couldn’t even have a relationship with her because I never knew what she was saying. Two hands clapping together, a heart and a smile; what did that mean?

Did that mean she was excited about taking my heart and putting it between her hands and squashing it between her fingers. What does that all mean?

We now need to not only worry about misinterpreting texts, we can misinterpret emoticons, too. It was far easier during the caveman days. You walked into the cave and your family wasn’t there, and on the wall of the cave was a big picture of a dinosaur eating the little children. You knew at that moment that a Tyrannosaurus Rex ate your kids and it was time for you to go somewhere else.

But emoticons; they leave me confused all the time.

Let’s Start Communicating Like Civilized People Again

We have become a lazy society of people who no longer know how to communicate to one another. We’d rather put, as my five year old daughter puts it, silly little stickers on a text.

Let’s not be so hypocritical, women.

All of the women out there that complain that men don’t talk; well, you just emoticoned them to death so nobody talks anymore. We’ve become lazy. We’ve become simple.

I think the next time a man meets a woman, he should just hand her a sticker. The sticker should be something like a man and a woman kissing. Or maybe we should just go back to caveman days and hand her a sticker of a man in a loin cloth and a woman in a loin cloth and him kissing her. The woman should then hand him back a sticker, whether she’s interested or not.

People should go out on dates and instead of talking, they should just emoticon one another or hand stickers to one another, right? You get my point. We’re too technology reliant. Pick up the phone and talk to somebody. Stop emoticoning them to death. That’s the first step in how to connect with a man.

As advanced as we’ve come as a culture, we’re back in the caveman days yet again. I find that pretty amazing. We’ve done a complete circle. Technology is no greater now than it was when the dinosaurs ate the little kiddies for lunch on that freezing cold day 10M years ago.