Do you ever sit down and write down goals?

I know a lot of you right now are working on your basics: overcoming the fear of approaching, actually approaching, and getting a date. Mastering these would be an accomplishment right now for some of you.

Some of you are a little more seasoned. You’ve been in relationships, have an idea of who you are, what you want, but you still want to be able to date any woman. And you know what I mean by any woman. You can’t just walk up to any single woman and think that you’re going to connect with them, because it is all about chemistry and you’ve got to understand that right from the get-go.

Here is the deal: successful people in life, no matter what they do, set goals and they work hard every single day. Do you put in enough time every day to become the best version of you?

When I first started going out there and meeting women, I was in my 20s. Now in college I was okay. I was the guy who had been rumored to have slept with a ton of girls because I was always seen with them. I would leave the club with them, I would leave the bar with them, but I have got to tell you something: my closing skills were horrific.

They were awful. I couldn’t close worth a damn. I was so afraid to go in for the kiss; I was so afraid to touch; I would just walk them back to their dorm room. I would not even invite myself in, not even try, I would just walk away and I would be thrown right into the friend zone.

But what is funny is, is that I was always seen with all these girls so I had the reputation of having slept with almost every single girl on campus, and that helped get me more dates. That helped me getting me more hook ups when I was able to hook up with them.

Later on in my 20s though I decided I really wanted to be different because I was no longer living in school and I realized that I had to work on all this stuff. I was living in New York City. I became a bartender in New York City, and when you’re a bartender—man—you should have no problem getting laid.

I didn’t have a problem getting laid. I had a problem connecting with the women I really wanted. You see I played it safe for so long. I always played it safe. And it drove me crazy. I would go for the easy one, and one day I decided that I was going to change that. I wanted to become really great at meeting women, picking them up, whatever terminology you want to use.

So I went out every single day and I picked up women. I forced myself to talk to women. I forced myself to open up and I forced myself to do everything. I got so far out of my comfort zone every single day that I thought I was going to lose my mind. I felt out of control, but I knew that in order to be successful I had to do that. I had to push myself.

Now, the big question for all of you right now is: how far do you push yourselves? Are you looking for the easy way out? Do you still believe there is a magic pill? Do you just read articles online or do you actually invest in programs that could help move you towards your goals faster?

Get clear with your goals and bring urgency to your life. The women are out there. And they’re waiting for you.