A client of mine was just asking me about how to handle something that happens all too often in a bar. Now my client knows I am not a big fan of the bars, but lots of people do go to them.

It’s always good times when you go to the bar to have fun with your friends, and you run into who I call Mr. Testosterone . . . or, really, Joe Jerk. I call these guys Joe Jerk because they are guys who have been jerking off way too long and have way too much pent up energy.

Joe Jerk is the guy who will walk over to you, and try to get the girl you’re talking with to walk away with him. Here you are enjoying yourself at the bar talking to a girl. Joe Jerk will walk directly over to you using all his testosterone and say something like, “Dude, why are you still on it? She’s obviously not into you. Take a hike, man, so I can talk to her.” They go right for you.

I have something I want to tell all of you guys who do this kind of thing: It’s really ridiculous. It’s bravado. It’s that ‘macho man’ stuff that women really don’t like.

Even if you wanted to take a stab at doing something like this, this is totally the wrong way to do it. You would walk up to that woman and whisper in her ear, “Obviously you’re not into this guy. C’mon, let’s go. Just pretend you know me. We’ll walk away and you can buy me a drink for rescuing you from him.”

That’s what you do if you really wanted to go this route. You don’t try to get into a fistfight with some strange guy, just because you are frustrated that he approached the girl you wanted to talk to first. That doesn’t show any confidence.

If you see a girl talking to some guy, and you truly believe that she isn’t interested in that guy in the least, then try what I said above and give her the opportunity to walk away. If you do this, one of two things will happen.

If you’re right, you will have given her the opportunity to get away from a guy in whom she is not interested. Most likely, though, she’ll look at you and say “No thanks. I’m with him.”

The truth is that guys who pull this kind of crap are the same guys who get into their car and peel out like they’re sixteen years old. Even if a woman is not into that guy, you don’t look much better.

So if a guy does this to you in a bar when you’re talking to girl, you can look directly at him and say “You know what, let’s let the lady decide, because I personally think it is her choice. If she chooses you and your overwhelming personality, then that’s fine with me. I’ll go and talk to someone else.” Then you look directly at the girl, smile and say, “Your choice.”