The longer you hang out with a woman, the more you uncover.
The more you realize that this beautiful woman who seduced you and showed you this amazing person… is really just fucked up more than you thought.
She’s still fucked up from the men that came before you.
So I tell men all the time: stop being an asshole.
Treat a woman as you would treat your sister.
Treat a woman as if someone was dating your sister or dating your mother, if your mother is single or alive.
Stop messing with women.
The more you mess with women, the more trouble you’re going to get into. They are weaker than you are. They are more fragile. They have had many, many, many, many, men come before you and fuck them up.
You have to realize that, as you go in deeper into a woman, as each layer is uncovered, you are going to see the layers of pain, the layers of anger, the layers of fear come out.
That great bubbly girl you met in the beginning who wooed you in… she is still there.
But weekly, you are going to do something to her that is going to trigger some past issue.
I like to call it post-traumatic dating disorder, or PTDD.
You are going to see it compound, and it’s going to frustrate the hell out of you.
Because you are going to wonder what else can you do. You told her you loved her. You told her she is beautiful, yet she doesn’t feel sexy and doesn’t want to have sex with you.
It’s not you.
Something happened that triggered something that happened in the past.
It’s the ghosts of boyfriends past.
It’s the ghosts of husbands past.
You are going to constantly see her past come up on a regular basis.
So what do you do in this situation?
Simple: you deal with it.
You work through it.
You become honest with each other.
Because let me tell you something: you are equally as fucked up.
You also have shit that is going to come up, things that are going to trigger you. Ways that she is going to make you feel insecure, and you are going to eventually realize she didn’t make you feel insecure.
You are feeling insecure because of things that happened to you in the past.
You are feeling insecure because of stuff that is coming out right now.
Because that’s all we are doing: bringing out things that we need to still work on. And that means you need to look in the mirror and you need to work on it.
When something comes up, you can’t blame them. You have to work on it. You have to figure it out, because if you don’t, it’s going to sabotage the relationship and make the relationship something that it shouldn’t be.
It’s going to ruin the relationship in ways that shouldn’t ruin the relationship.
It’s going to take away whatever magic that was created between the two of you. So work on your shit when it comes up, and realize what it is and help one another through it.
Have more compassion, because in order for a love relationship to work, you need to be you utmost compassionate, and not your utmost judgmental.