Dear David WygantI wouldn’t normally do two Dear David blogs in a week, but this one covers a situation so many women find themselves in, but don’t know how to handle. I wanted to share it with you ASAP. I help a lady answer the question, “Should we stay together?”

Should we stay together is a hard enough question itself, but becomes even harder to answer when there are children involved. Here’s her email and my response…

“Dear David,

I need some dating advice. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 3 years. We have a one- year old son together.

I ended the relationship about 4 months after my son was born when I found my boyfriend cheating. This wasn’t the first time he had cheated on me or lied to me. Now…I’m no angel myself. I also did the dirty because I felt unwanted.

It’s been a while since we broke up but we still live together because neither of us can afford to live on our own. We talked about getting back together but there’s a lack of trust and he talks to other females while trying to get back with me. My question is should we just go our separate ways? I’d love to think we could make it work for the sake of our son, but I just feel there’s too much water under the bridge to ever get things right between us. The other issue is I want more children but he doesn’t.

I just don’t know what the right thing to do is. Any ideas?


David Says…

To be honest, you’ve answered your own question. You don’t trust each other anymore, and you both want different things from life. You want more children and he doesn’t. Why would you cheat yourself by being with a man who doesn’t want the same as you?

We get one chance at life. No coming back to do it again if we don’t do the things we want. Have you ever wondered why so many people don’t follow their heart?

It’s because most people live in fear of the unknown, even though it’s the unknown people crave and desire. People stay in relationships they’re not happy with, because they have a mentality that it’s better to be with the devil you know, than the devil you don’t. I always say, how do you know the next guy you date is going to be a devil? It’s time to let go and start embracing the unknown instead of fearing it. As far as children go, I never suggest a couple stays together for the sake of the children. Kids are smart and they sense atmosphere. They can feel when they’re not in a happy home and it rubs off on them.

If you want to do what’s right for the sake of your child, set yourself free and show him what a happy Mom is like. As hard as it feels right now, it will make both of your futures much happier.