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Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.
Yea it is. Man I'm still not able to do this WTF!! I know exactly what to do yet I dont talk to anyone at all, during the day. Im geting so frustrated with how my life is going. I was at my room right now and I just realized that I got no one to talk to at all. No girl that I could possibly talk to in a flirty, fun, good way. Man this sucks so much. I'm all alone during the weekend and the feeling really sux.
You guys are always approaching women in stores, but how do you approach someone who's doing nothing but going about their day? I can think of NO openers for this girl I'd like to approach. I'm a junior in high school, she's probably a freshman or sophomore. It's a big school, so I'm not sure. She has to walk behind where I sit with my friends every day, and they're pretty charismatic guys, so I'm thinking about asking her to sit for a second. But cansomeone help me out with what to say?
Well Mario, why not go out and meet a girl? You've got nothing to lose, right? Go to a video store and ask a cute girl if she's seen a movie you're near. Tell her you're about to go to McDonald's for an ice cream cone and invite her along with you. If the ice cream mini-date goes well, invite her over to watch the movie. That's just one example. You have the skills. Go make some magic happen!
Drew, you have a great opportunity to challenge her. Act overly upset and say something about how she should buy you dinner before she oggles you like she just did, or tell her you see her trying to get up the courage to come talk to you and that you don't bite. Start it off with teasing and you can't really go wrong. If she has no sense of humor and takes it the wrong way, then forget her and move on.
Congrats khiem (spelling?)!
I think it went very well. I used to be a student of David's who took phone coaching with him a lot...mostly on entering bars without knowing a whole lot as soon as I hit 21.
My two cents on the video:
I feel that you did a great job on the approach and I really think your body language is great (how you turned sideways to not convey too much neediness and interest up front).
She seemed clearly into you and laughed a couple times so I feel that you could have qualified her with something a little more spot on and direct. Maybe saying something like "So you seem like a cool chick...what are three great personality traits about you that I would love?"
He said the video went on for 20 minutes and to be honest I feel you could have closed her within two minutes and got her number.
You did a great job...just be a little more specific and to the point with her!
Awesome vid!
Well thanks for the feedback Annonymous,
You are right... I could probably close her faster if I wanted to. However, I want you to watch the video from a non-pickup perspective.
Just because I can go fast doesn't mean I need to or that I should. If I'm enjoying the interaction, I can just enjoy it as is. The more information I have with the girl, the more I know about her, the stronger connection I get, the better my follow-up options will be.
The other thing you didn't see is that Will has been talking to her for a while... so I came in to re-energize the conversation... and show him how to lead the conversation.
This is what we do in bootcamps too. At first, we let you talk on your own but occasionally, I'll jump in so that you can see how I carry the conversation.
There're a lot more videos like this on the membership site. Get on it if you want to see more :)
Oh... and remember, there's a bootcamp coming up in 2 weeks in LA!!!
Drew: In high school, it's a whole different ballgame. You have many more options at your disposal that can make things easier. If you can, add her on Facebook and start an IM conversation (on Facebook) about something. Hopefully she'll have something on her page. That way, you can go right up to her next time you see her and continue the conversation from Facebook and go deeper. Make sure you challenge her in that IM conversation and keep it interesting and somewhat short (20 minutes maximum). You can close her when you meet her and talk in person.
Adding a girl you don't know on Facebook is seen as creepy by girls. It's a good idea, just never worked for me. I just need tips on how to clear my head and find courage. Thanks Collin and Josh for your advice so far.
Drew: If you see her in your class on a daily basis, then it's normal. Notice how girls have hundreds of friends. On average, they know a little more than 1% of those in real life (as in actually speaking to them). Works for me pretty often. Hope that works out for ya. Another strategy is if you're talking to your friends to bring her into the conversation somehow. She'll want to jump into a live conversation and will almost surely contribute something.
Mario--don't give up! I know it's hard feeling alone but it seems like you are ready for a change so think positive and take it one step and at a time. Rome was not built in a day nor would the city have lasted so long if they didn't take the time to lay the foundation down. Have you taken a boot camp before? This really helps put all of these lessons that you read about together and see what works for you. Hang in there...
Drew, kind of branching off of Josh's "bring her into the conversation" advice, you could ask her opinion on something that you just make up, but would be interesting to her. For example, if you say, "Hey, I need your opinion real quick. Who do you think lies more in relationships, men or women?" or, "Hey, I need your opinion real quick. Do you think there are any pro athletes or movie stars who aren't cheating on their spouses?" (or any other opinion question that will draw her in), then she'll be hooked for at least the next minute or two as you then playfully challenge her on hero opinion. You've gotta be able to move the conversation from there on your own, but it's a good start. Also, making sure there's an open seat next to you is always a good plan.
Hey Mario, I know the feeling, but sometimes that's the way it is. But if you're just yourself, all will go well. if you're patient, things will come at the right moment. Life is full of surprise.
for example, one of my friend is a model. I've seen him with different girlfriends and why not. so I asked him if he does anything to make them like him. this is what he told me:"I just let it happen. if you try to make it happen, that's when you don't get it. don't worry about trying to get girls, and then you'll get them."
I think now I understand what he meant.
Josh: It's such a big school, I don't even know her name. I'll do some "research" though. And that is a good point, they each have about 400 friends on average.
Collin: I suppose I could pull her over by using the method you've mentioned in your first post. Should I ask her what it's like being a freshman in a school full of scary bigger kids?
@collin:Dude I know I got nothing to lose but I still can't approach them. Even with the mindset you guys tell me to have about them, I still can't. Maybe I should grow some balls and just do it.
@Jimmy: I haven't talked to anyone at all. Not new, I get scared man. Like for example I go to high school, and it the biggest one in my city. Hundreds of good looking girls, yet, I still can't talk to any of them. I can't stop them in the middle of the hall nor do anything with them.
@ Coach Kimberly: Im in high school so its really improbable for me to go to a bootcamp.But like you said maybe I should start making my foundation. So it could be a strong one and ready for improvement. The thing is that I've been in this site for almost 1.5 years. I see changes in me, but there only inside and I don't show them to anyone else. They don't see what I could do or know about women. My voice tone still sucks but my eye contact is getting a little better. I still don't know how to challenge a girl nor flirt as well. I'm terrified of good looking girls, especially, cause in high school its different. The way I see it, they get asked out way more because they are hot and fun. I don't know if thats true but its the opposite of what you guys say about older hot girls.
So there it is. If you guys could get me feedback I would appreciate it,
Mario
This is very interesting, especially it seems what they chat about is quite deep too, now is it possible the other way round? say I am the store clerk, would it be possible to ask a customer out? or it won't work out because of the status ?
Mario- Do you have any friends around school, etc. who are pretty good at talking and relating to the girls? I agree totally with Coach Kimberly that you seem like someone who could really use some help in person just to see what's actually possible (like a bootcamp). When you're starting from the beginning, it's hard to learn all on your own. Since an actual bootcamp might not be practical for you- watching and talking to friends you could learn from would help too.
i don't understand david u always say bring in the friends she is with. ok look at the guy he haven't been brought in and he looks angry at the guy talking to her, i don't get it.
I was not impressed by your performance. Your body language was odd in that you are completely hitting on her with your face and words but you are turned away. Also you don't gesture much.
The title of the page says that the woman asked you out? I didn't see that.
She is a store clerk, she has to be nice to you. The point here is that you asked dating questions and began to qualify her, which was good. I also liked david's point about delving deeper when she gives a responce, the part where you ask what part of the personality was very nicely done.
I don't see why you wouldn't post the entire video here? The whole article is here's one trick to get a girl to ask you out.... then you never even tell or show it?! OK OK i see the need for premium content, so i really don't want to hear that excuse! Lets give the readers of your blog whats promised. And what was promised was one trick to get a girl in a store to ask you out. Which (from my perspective) never happened.
Mario: In school, the key is saying anything, there are openers everywhere. Don't think, just speak. If you mess up, school is out in a few months anyway and you start over in the fall. Even talking about the class has been a great opener for me, just make sure you look for ways to get out of the opener as quickly as possible and get into a deeper conversation. Just do it.
@C-man: I get what you are saying man. It is full of surprises and I consider myself fortunate for experiencing some of them. But lately I haven't seen any changes in me. My friends at school seem happy but I still can't find that happiness. I still can't go in deeper with a girl. I still can't. I'm tired of wearing masks everyday. I can't be myself cause its not good enough. I'm actually getting better at being myself. But I'm just not gotten to the point where I would want to.
@Anonymous: I have friends that get girls all the time. It's weird but true. They just go up to him naturally. He's a guitar player in a band so I guess girls find that attractive.
Mario--everyone is giving great advice! Also, I wanted to add that we also offer phone, private email and Skype coaching which would still help a lot with the stuff you are struggling with. Let us know...we would love to help as you are at the perfect age to learn this stuff. I also want to add how amazing it is that you are even doing all of the self-work at your age. You are ahead of the game and don't even realize it as many guys your age would not do something to improve themselves. You are going to make a great boyfriend...own it!:)
Mario: If you're in the same class, as long as you're in the same general vicinity as her, you can start a conversation. Ask her something specific about the class. Quirky things a teacher does works wonders. Just make sure you challenge her and get out of that opener and keep the conversation going. Spring Break is another great topic since you can find out about them. Here is a conversation I had with an attractive girl a month and a half ago, and I used Valentine's Day instead of Spring Break, but SB is better. I did this because she was just sitting there and I saw nothing I could observe:
ME: "Hi." Her: "Hi." ME: "How was your Valentine's Day?" Her: "It was okay." ME: "Valentine's Day is supposed to be one of the happiest days of the year, why was it just okay?" Her: "Well, this guy gave me a necklace with my name engraved on it and we're not even dating." ME: "Wait a minute, so you took the expensive necklace and left? You didn't kiss him, hug him, or anything? Just in it for the engraved jewelery from random guys you meet on the street, I see how it is."
She laughed and she proceeded to defend herself. The conversation went really well, but it turned out she had a boyfriend. That's just one example. I spend a little over 2 years trying to get the High School game down and I did pretty well at the end, landing a great girlfriend for almost two years.
Another strategy I used often was to use pen tricks while sitting at my desk and girls would almost always open me asking how I did it. I proceeded to teach them and we talked, magic.
Mario,
I understand that feeling... *as you walk down the hallway during break, the girl you like is at her locker by herself getting ready for her next class.. you want to approach her so bad, but your neck starts getting tingly hot, your face warming up, palms sweaty.... and you just walk past her...*
I've grown out of that stage, but it took a while.. it's not something I conquered overnight. For me, the main problem wasn't really approaching a girl at the end. The problem was really me. I had to grow and be happy with who I am first, before I go out and find a girl. At the end of the day, there's nothing wrong being by myself... and in my mind, I know I'd be happier with a girl there, but I'm fine with myself too.
I decided to start picking up hobbies and sports I enjoyed... joined clubs at school... These are all social arenas with plenty of ladies...So go find something you're interested in and take advantage of the clubs your school provide... commit to it, and you'll find a girl there who will have the same interests.. and talking should be a breeze. As time goes on, you'll acquire more abilities and fit into more social atmospheres, exposing yourself to more people...
So do what you love. Ladies love that about guys... They'll be there waiting.
-Kai
@ Coach Kimberly: You know, thats what everyone tells me here. That I'm ahead of my time and its good. BUT I don't know how to apply it. I know the stuff yet I don't or won't apply it. How much are the skype calls?
@Josh: Hey josh, I know that it works but I won't do it. Im in my head way too much.. almost all the time. I think the worse of everything all the time.
@ Kai: Yea kai. Im working towards it...but still can't.
So challenging is the way to do it. I never tried it but I heard you always have to have a personality when talking and can't always agree. I will try that and nice video.
Man I had a blind date this afternoon with a great looking lawyer,Started out great then after 20 mins the conversation started going south,the pauses started getting longer and longer.Sucks cause she was hot and I wanted it to work out but didn't have much chemistry.Takes 2 to make a conversation work.
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Kevin
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yours howe
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yours howe
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yours howe
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