Do you remember the movie, “Vacation”, with Chevy Chase?

That movie was great because the whole premise of the movie was that he was going to take his family to ‘Wally World.’

Apps vs HumansThey had to get to ‘Wally World.’

Through adventure, and misadventure, Chevy Chase was going to get his family to Wally World.

Now, you don’t need to ever go to Wally World. In fact there’s probably an app for it right now. If you can’t get there, you can open the app and see Wally World on your phone. People don’t go anywhere anymore anyway, because they’re obsessed with their apps. We live in an ‘app world’, and it’s really sad.

The amount of time we spend on these little devices is unreal. Now I want you to be honest. You’re sitting on the couch watching a movie or TV. How close is your little device next to you? Are you holding hands with it, are you checking it? How many noises does your little device have? Are you in vibration mode so you can get excited along with the ding-ding, or are you just a ding-ding person or just vibrate-vibrate?

We’ve been taken over by apps. There’s an app for everything. If you’re looking for Tinderella, it’s a blast. There’s a new app called ‘Bumble.’ That’s where you get the opportunity for an ugly woman to contact you first.

I don’t mean that to be derogatory. I don’t mean that she’s ugly the way she looks. It’s just ugly the way they contact, because women are so awful at flirting online. “Hey there.”

Like I’m going to drop everything for a “hey there,” in the middle of doing something. I’m just going to drop what I’m doing in my life.

We’ve literally become an app world. Everybody has them on their phones. People are constantly checking. Everybody’s trying to figure out what the next great app is.

To tell you the truth, I think the world is pretty lonely now. We spend so much time looking at our little apps, checking our sports scores, and our stock markets, and our dating and our Facebook friends that we don’t spend enough time with our regular friends.

When was the last time you had a conversation with a friend and look them directly in the eyes the whole time?

Most people look their friends in the eyes and then look their phone in the eyes. They go back and forth between phone and friends. As a matter of fact, next time you go out you should order a table for four if it’s just the two of you. When the waiter asks you how many there are, you’ll say “there’s four of us.” There’s myself, my friend, Frank, and our two phones, iPhone five and iPhone six.

I think phones should have their own seats.

A lot of people spend time asking serious questions.  What’s zero divided zero, Siri?  Everybody thinks that’s so silly and so funny, ha ha ha.

When’s the last time you called the company and it wasn’t answered by some mechanical voice, which by the way I’d like to get that job.  I called American Airlines tonight to try and upgrade on a flight, and it took me about five minutes to finally convince the mechanical voice that I could talk to a person.

We’ve become a society that’s so not connected with each other.  We’re touching our phones more than we get touched.  We try to download the latest app so we can be cool.

There’s a new app now called, ‘Periscope’, where you can literally film yourself. You tap on the phone and say, “Hey everybody I’ve got free dating advice here”, and you’ve got like 300 people listening in, and watching you because they have nothing better to do than watch a total stranger on their phone.

I miss the days where everything was simple.  Whatever happened to the magic of ‘boy meets girl.’

What about the magic of connecting?

When’s the masturbation app going to come out, where you can use the phone to touch yourself?

Anyway, I don’t know about you but I’m tired of the apps. It’s time we realized how dangerous this new app based world we’re creating really is for us all!