It’s the biggest dating hurdle you have to jump as a man. How do you get that second date?

You’ve met a woman. You got her number, and you got her on a first date. It goes quite well (you think) she even let you give her a little kiss when you walked her home. Now she’s gone cold. She’s not returning your calls right away, and you can’t close her for that second date.

What went wrong? Did you do something on the first date to put her off?

The chances are you committed one of the “Five Deadly First Date Sins.”

Don’t know what they are?

Let’s have a look….

You interviewed her – This is something women do too, so I’m not just pointing the finger at you guys here. I’ve always said asking questions is really important on a date. It gives you a chance to find out who she is, and gives you conversation fodder. But don’t turn it into an interview.

She’s not a contestant on a game show, and she doesn’t want to play 20 questions. Ask a question, respond, relate, and move on to another subject. Quick fire questions are going to make her feel like she’s applying for a job, and she’s going to think you’re weird.

You were arrogant – It’s fine to talk about yourself on a date, but women don’t want to hear why YOU think you’re so great. Answer their questions, be funny, and even inject a little cocky humor in there, but don’t cross the line to arrogance.

Don’t go on about how much money you make, or what an amazing car you have. It’s not a competition, and you’re going to make her feel inferior. Nothing wrong with showing you’re a confident, strong guy, but don’t overdo it.

You didn’t flirt – There’s a balance here guys, and most of you get it wrong. Flirting does not mean sliding your hand up and down her thigh, or licking her earlobe!  Flirting can be as simple as small compliments, jokey comments, or a little tap on the knee or hand on the shoulder as you talk. It can be as simple as a little wink or smile. Nothing too over the top, but if you don’t flirt she’s going to think you’re not interested.

If a woman thinks you’re not interested her barriers go up, she gets defensive, and you’ve blown your chances.

You didn’t listen to her – This is SO important guys. If you take nothing else from this post, write this down. If you don’t listen to her, you will NEVER get a second date. You have to listen to a woman or you’re finished.

Pay attention to what she’s saying. If she’s excited about something she’s telling you, act excited back. If she’s telling you something very personal, listen closely and ask her questions.

Questions are a great way to show you’re paying attention to her. Lastly, for God’s sake look her in the eyes. If you look over her shoulder, she’s going to think you’re looking at other women, and if you look at the floor, it makes you look weak.

You didn’t close her – How do you get that second date with a woman? You ask for it!

If you enjoyed her company, if you had fun, and if you’re attracted to her, tell her you want to see her again. Don’t wait for her to ask you. Walk/drive her home, whatever, go in for the first kiss (if you want to know how check out this blog post!) and then say something like, “I had a great time tonight. Let’s do this again. I could do Saturday or Sunday night. Which day suits you best?”

It’s an old sales close but it works anywhere. Sure, she could say, “I’m not free either.” But then you can say something like, “OK, I’ll call you later and we’ll sort out a day when you’re free.”

You’re showing interest, you’re showing strength, and you’re showing you’re not scared to ask for what you want. Women like guys who aren’t scared to say what they want. So if you didn’t get that second date you wanted, think back to your first date. Did you make any of these mistakes?

Did you commit any of “The Five Deadly First Date Sins?”

Does this all sound like pretty basic dating advice?

Then why are so many of you STILL getting this stuff so wrong?

Want more? Learn how to turn any woman into your girlfriend once you get her phone number.