Vroom Vroom
By David Wygant

Vroom, vroom, vroom . . .

No, this is not the Mazda zoom zoom zoom commercial. This blog is dedicated to all the women who have become addicted to their vibrators.

I once dated a woman who was completely addicted to a vibrator the size of a horse. You know the one . . . it’s supposed to be a back massager. You plug it in, straddle it like a pony, put it on full speed, and kick back and ride it like a bucking bronco.

Because of this addiction, there was no way I could get that woman to cum. No matter what I did – whether I used my tongue, my finger or my joystick – I could not sensate her body like her vroom vroom stick.

Look, I’m all about sex toys. If I were a woman, I’d walk around with one of those mechanical eggs. You know, the remote control ones. That way I could be sitting bored during a movie, turn up the speed and quietly have an orgasm.

The problem is that so many of these women become so vibrator addicted that they can’t have orgasms during sex. Now I’ve always been the type of guy who doesn’t like to cum alone. Hell, when I go to a party I always like to bring something . . . be it a bottle of wine, a friend or my dog. Sex for me is no different. I really don’t enjoy getting off if she doesn’t.

Again, I’m all for seeing what the magic toy does. You never now if BOB (“battery operated boyfriend”) may be able to teach me a thing or two. So many women, though, are vibrator addicted that they can’t cum with a man which causes them to miss out on true intimacy.

Now I have no issues with putting in the effort required to make it happen for a woman. I’ll dive down there for an hour. If it takes an hour the first time, it’ll take her 59 minutes the next time. It’s about learning your lover’s body. Through oral sex, you can really learn your lover’s body.

If your woman is vibrator addicted, have her play with her clit during sex. That way when she’s not with you, she can play with her clit and picture your non-battery operated toy moving inside her.

Not only that, a lot of women who are vibrator addicts have not learned how to climax through their G-spot (which is an even more powerful orgasm than the clitoral one according to Dr. Ruth). In order to get a woman to cum with her G-spot, you have to be able to apply pressure to it and massage it . . . and find it of course. Most men have trouble finding it.

The way to find it is to take your finger, put it inside about two inches, and then curl it up. When you curl it up, look for a soft spongy little spot. Then start massaging that spot. Constantly massage that spongy spot with your finger, adding more pressure as you continue.

By adding pressure, she is going to start to feel a sensation like she has to pee or burst. Physically, she can’t urinate and she can’t burst . . . she’s not the blueberry girl from “Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory.”

Once you have her at the point of feeling that bursting feeling, do NOT relinquish the pressure. A lot of men don’t understand that in order to make a woman cum during intercourse, you need slow deep thrusting. It’s not the speed you go. It’s the way you massage the walls.

When you have her spot, start whispering seductive things inside her ear. Maybe also grab her breast and pinch her nipples. Look deep into her eyes as you’re slowly moving inside her, and tell her how hot you find her to be. No matter what, do NOT stop hitting that spot. The more you look into her eyes, and the more you whisper into her ear, the more connected and relaxed she’ll be.

Once you get her to experience that G-spot orgasm, there’s no turning back. If your bodies are aligned and communicating with each other, and you’re open, you will get her to experience that.

Bringing her to places she has not been will get her to kick the vroom vroom habit. If after this she is still addicted to the Amtrak sized vibrator, then you are not doing your job correctly.

The key to getting her to cum with you is to tell her that you’re very patient. When you go down on her, tell her there is no time limit. Many women become very self-conscious when someone is spending a lot of time down there because they feel like that person might be getting tired.

I don’t get tired. I get motivated. It’s like the third and fourth quarters of a football game . . . when the defense is tired, a real running back can pound out the yards. I’m like the LaDainian Tomlinson of oral sex.

Many times a woman will be close to cumming while you’re performing oral sex and she’ll lose it. This makes her feel badly, so she’ll make you come up and have sex with her. When this happens, tell her “I don’t care how many times you lose it. I am going to stay down here. So you can take your time and enjoy it.”

It’s also important to find out how she likes to be licked. Ask her. She’ll tell you. There is nothing more powerful or enjoyable than being able to get your lover off.

For the men reading this, think about how you’d feel if when a woman goes down on you she says “Kick back, relax and take your time. I’m going to savor every minute.” You’re really going to enjoy that ride. It works both ways.

You also have to set the mood. Light some candles. Put on some good music. Lock the cat out of the bedroom. It’s not that hard guys.

Women want to feel this way. They want to experience a better orgasm with you than with Mr. Vroom Vroom.

Now the key is that once you’ve made it happen for her, it’s time to send Mr. Vroom Vroom on vacation. Book him on an all-expense paid vacation to China where he was built..

Todays video will teach men how to wean her off the electronic boyfriend.