A reader of mine wrote to me and said, “Is it okay to lead a woman on for sex, even if you know there’s no future with her?” What do you think my answer to him was?

My answer was that it’s great. I love leading people on. Why don’t you spend your entire day leading people on.

Why don’t you go into a clothing store, try on clothes for about five hours, make the salesperson feel like they’re going to sell a lot of clothes to you, then leave without buying a thing. Or, why don’t you go to a couple car dealership, test drive several models, waste someone’s time for a few hours, negotiate a deal until you get the price you want, and then walk away.

Here’s an even better idea. Why don’t you go to the ASPCA or the pound, pet a dog for a few hours, bond with him, take him home, and then the second you get home turn around and bring him back to the pound.

Do not lead people on for sex if you know that’s all you want! (Now you know I was being sarcastic earlier when I said that it’s great).

You need to learn to be honest. If all you’re looking for in your life right now is sex, then you need to say that to the woman you’re dating. When you meet a woman, say something like, “I’m not looking to get serious with anyone right now. I’m just looking to have fun. If you’re cool with that, then I’d love to spend some time with you.”

Be honest about your intentions. If you are going to tell a woman that you want to have sex with her, don’t say, “Oh baby, I want you. I really want to have a relationship.” Instead say something like, “I’m really sexually attracted to you. I’d love to experience you. I’d love to have sex with you. I do not want a relationship at this time, but I’d love for you to spend the night and get to know you that way.”

Be honest. The woman you’re saying this to may want the same exact thing. You never know. What happens when you’re honest is that you will only have sex with women who wants the same thing you do, and you will end up with two honest people who have a good time together sexually.

Not only that, but when you’re honest you may keep the door open to have sex (or a relationship) with a woman later down the line even if she says no initially. She may say to you, “Hey, you know what, I don’t want just sex right now. I’m looking for a relationship. Thank you for being honest with me though.”

Then, guess what? Six months later when you might be looking for a relationship, you may run into her. Then you may be able to start dating her then. You can say, “Look, you caught me when I was just in a really weird place in my life. I just wanted to have some great sex. I’m looking for a relationship now.”

By being honest with her from the beginning, she is probably going to remember you. You might be able to date her in the future. It’s part of never burning bridges.

Honesty is something that I think is amazing. Be honest in all areas of your life, but especially in this area.

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