What I’m about to tell you may or may not shock you. Every single woman I’ve ever met has been a snoop. They just can’t help themselves, they’re curious by nature. As cute as they are, they’re also very curious.

Put a phone on the sofa, give a woman any inclination or any doubt that the relationship isn’t working, and watch her eyes dart to that phone. You see the wheels turning inside her brain. You’ll literally see her looking at that phone, saying, “Should I, or shouldn’t I?”

All women given the opportunity will always pick up your phone to see if they can find whatever they’re suspecting. A woman is a like a great CSI investigator. All detectives should be women because they’re great at jail breaking your phone. They’re great at figuring out your password and getting to your e-mail.

Women are the greatest snoops in the entire world. Sherlock Holmes should have been Stacy Holmes. Watson should have been Emily. It could have been Stacy Holmes and Emily, two of the greatest detectives. CSI, the TV show, should have been a panel of women.

Women are the best detectives in the world, the problem is that once a woman is on to your trail whether you’re guilty or not, she’ll always be able to create a guilty story about you. She’ll find something on the phone because women don’t just go short at the beginning, they’ll go deep into your phone into the archive, they’ll look for any text that you had with any type of woman and the more incriminating the text, the bigger the story they create.

Women are also some of the greatest storytellers in the world. Do you remember the book Aesop’s Fables?

Well, we should change it to Mary and Jane Fables. Women are amazing weaving outrageous tales, and women love to snoop. So, how do we as men protect ourselves?

Well, first off you have to learn how to girlfriend proof your phone. A password isn’t enough because one day in some stupor you might tell her your password. You can be sure she’ll remember it because don’t forget, a woman never forgets anything. They’re like elephants. They don’t forget a damn thing.

It’s really important to girlfriend proof your phone. Today’s video gives you a step-by-step demonstration on how to girlfriend proof your phone because no matter what you do, she should never dive into your personal stuff. You can have the best relationship, be 100% innocent, and Sherlock Holmes and Watson are going to come in and find something on your phone and you’re going to be in trouble. You can call this video, dating insurance from yours truly.