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Reaction Speakers

     

Craigslist? Do you know Craig . . . and have you seen his list?

Yesterday I decided since I have a great deal with T-Mobile that I don’t want to give up, that I would look on craigslist for an unlocked iPhone. I mean, I am a mac guy after all, so it would be great to have one.

When I looked at the iPhones online, the prices were all over the map. That’s when I started looking for one on craigslist.

so I go to craigslist and I email a few people about their unlocked iPhones for sale. In my emails, I said that I would like to have the warranty documentation with any phone I’d buy.

At first, no one emailed me back. It’s like buying a used car — absolutely no one tells you the truth. My old business partner used to say that buyers are liars (and so are sellers).

So when I woke up this morning, I had a few emails in my inbox about my iPhone inquiries. There were three of them. The first one said I had to send a Western Union money order with my address on it. Are people really that stupid?

The other two were the exact same email from two people named Movie and Doobie. You’d think they’d just call themselves something like Joe and Bob.

It’s amazing how many people fall for these money order scams. Sonja had a friend who fell for one about a puppy. For $500.00, she got a lovely plastic Chihuahua. I mean, really, are people that stupid?

Really, how many times are we going to win the African lottery and be told there is $22,000,000 waiting for us. Who knew you had four long-lost grandmothers in Africa who would die and leave you that kind of cash?!

I’ve always said we are America the gullible. So many people want to get rich quick and get money for doing nothing.

Look at all the people whose dating life hasn’t changed in a year, but they refuse to do anything about it. It always makes me wonder.

So back to Craig and his list. I’m still looking for iPhones. So if anyone has any leads or knows where I can get one, who knows what I might do to get one? I might do anything . . . even give away a free Bootcamp. You never know what I’ll do.

Today’s blog is all about something (other than the African lottery) that just doesn’t work in life.

As I was flippin’ around the channels the other night, I saw a re-run of Mystery’s show about PUAs, “The Pickup Artist.” For any of you who do not know, PUAs are a bunch of grown men who call themselves “pick up artists.”

I have never been a fan of the whole PUA thing for a number of reasons, but most importantly because I don’t agree with their methodology.

Their whole methodology is reaction-seeking. Everything they do is premised on seeking positive reinforcement from women. They’re not leading it.

They are always looking for something positive from women, so they can move forward. They’re looking for any of the described feedback contained in the PUA manuals. It’s all an illusion.

When they go up to a woman, they’re walking on eggshells because they’re solely focused on looking for some indication of interest (which they can an “IOI”). They are not leading the woman and having a conversation.

They are waiting for an “IOI” that the woman is going to allow them to continue talking so they can continue to move forward in the conversation. They’re looking for some type of body language signal.

The funny thing about this system is that it really is a joke. You HAVE to be able to walk up to a woman and lead. I have never walked over to a woman looking to see if she is interested. I am never looking for confirmation.

I’m going to say whatever I am going to say to her based on the situation around me, and I’m going to lead the conversation. I’m not sitting there and worrying the whole time.

The PUA guys are a bunch of worriers. They worry about what the woman is saying and doing, and all the while they are missing the whole conversation. When you miss that whole conversation, there really is no conversation.

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Comment Rules: I'm just a dating expert looking to spark up a conversation. Being critical is fine, but if you're rude, I'll delete your stuff. Please do not put any URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not nicknames or business names, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation! (Thanks to Tim Ferris for the inspiration)

31 Responses to “Reaction Speakers”

  1. Coach Jacob

    Hey guys I am selling a laptop, if anyone interested let me know!

    Condition: used like new!

    Description: $840
    Sony VAIO VGN-NS190J/L 15.4-Inch Laptop (2.0 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo T5800 Processor, 4 GB RAM, 250 GB Hard Drive, Blu-ray Drive, Vista Premium) Blue

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  2. CJ- this is not craiglist LOL

    btw..what is your asking price?

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  3. Coach Jacob

    840

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  4. Coach Jacob

    Its funny this morning I put an ad on craiglist and here I am reading about craiglist scam:)

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  5. ok cool let me think about it, do you have any pictures?

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  6. David- did our blog reader Julia inspired you to write today’s blog because she had a very interesting story to share with us yesterday.

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  7. I really think listening is a skill set that everyone needs to learn! I noticed the more I listened and reminded myself to be in the moment, the more women got attracted to me!

    Thank you DW another awesome blog today!

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  8. oh the pua’s are such a worriers and weird, they really need to listen to your materials 55 times. I am ashamed to meet one face to face.

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  9. Good point about the whole reaction seeking thing. In fact, many of the old school pua’s are now admitting that was a bad approach.

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  10. stay away from those craiglist scam david i know you will not fall for it.

    My sister was scammed once on craiglist for a pc but she learned her lesson.

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  11. Taras- are you a old school pua:)

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  12. I wouldn’t bash on PUA’s and call them names. They do what they do, and that’s what they think is right, just as DW thinks his method is right. I’ll admit that I listened to another “Dating Guru” before I found out about DW, and getting deeper and deeper into this subject, I’ve noticed that the other guy’s material is all PUA stuff. However, I love the fact that the other guy started talking about stuff to improve the “inner game”, as I feel that’s more of who I am. I’d like to be able to attract people, (I’ll say it again, PEOPLE, not just girls) just by working on myself. I still incorporate the pickup lines, the gestures, and all that because it helps me muster up a little courage to go up and talk to someone, but I don’t rely on them anymore, because I know that whoever I’m talking to will find that I’m being GENUINE.

    LOL I’m starting to sound like DW with his exaggerations on certain words.

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  13. Well DJ if you add some interesting files maybe 840 is a bargain..(-:

    Speaking of pushover I tried the site Swoopo..what an ass I was funny idea but though to begin with.

    Everything comes back to being process and not outcome driven in everything you do.

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  14. I’ve got one if you want it. I just sent you an email!

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  15. Talking about some people who fall for scams this one woman I read about bought a pill for xx amount of thousands to be saved from the year 2000 scare. Good luck on finding your I phone.

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  16. Coach Jacob

    I posted my ad on craiglist and this is what i get from this one guy named “loe john” and he says…..isn’t this guy full of shit or what?

    I really appreciate your response to my email.I want you to consider
    it sold,Pls do withdraw the advert from CL to avoid
    disturbance,anyways I don’t have time to come over to take a look
    because of my Business but you don’t need to bother yourself with the
    shipment, I’ll take care of that by engaging the services of a mover,
    hence I’ll be sending a check and it will be delivered to you via
    United Parcel Service, so I’ll need you to provide me with the
    following information to facilitate the mailing of the check.

    1.full name on the check.
    2.Full Physical address to post the check
    3.City, State and Zip Code
    4.Home & Cell Phone to contact you.

    Note that the payment will be shipped to your address via UPS NEXT DAY
    AIR SERVICE and I will like you to know that you will not be
    responsible for shipping i will have my mover to come over as soon as
    you have cashed the check,N.B UPS does not deliver to a P.O box
    addresses.

    Thanks.

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  17. Coach Jacob

    Marina- ok it will come with whatsyourexcuse mp3 for free:)

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  18. Coach Kimberly

    About the PUA thing…it can cause the monkey chatter to get louder because it teaches to be in your head and not in your heart!

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  19. Coach Kim- that is so true, it messed up my head so much so glad i burned all that stuff out of my pc and closet.

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  20. CJ-

    are you really giving way whatsyourexcuse? :)

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  21. CJ- stay way from that idiot he is so fake!!!!

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  22. I agree with Jimmi sounds like scam to me. Remember when it sounds to good to be true, it usually is!

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  23. Craigslist is full of email spam, pretty bad actually. I wish you the best of luck getting an unlocked iPhone for T-Mobile, I wanted to try and get one for Sprint but it turns out the wireless tech is different so I’d have to switch carrier. Craigslist works best for local services, if you’re in a large city you will be able to find someone that can get you an unlocked iPhone.

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  24. David, I’d wait till new iPhone comes out next week and get that. The iPhone 3GS allows you to record video and then edit and upload it (to YouTube) on the spot. Many other cool features, but will have to wait for a few more weeks to get it here in Czech Republic. :(

    By the way, I had an idea for a David Wygant iPhone app a few months back, using GPS to track where you meet people, etc, etc. I thought it was a bit geeky, but it could be useful for hardcore socialites who want to track when and where they meet people. :)

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  25. Not all PUA’s follow, agree with, or use the mystery method. There are many different techniques that fall under the term PUA. Some of them are identical to what you teach. Secondly, the best thing to do when purchasing electronics is not buying from the gray market. Do it legitimately. Buy a phone from the actual manufacturer. If you can’t afford to buy a new iPhone with the Apple care protection plan and spend $150/mo for the service then perhaps you should stick with what you have. My girlfriend has the samsung touch screen with T-mobile. Although (IMO) it’s not nearly as good as my iphone – it’s still pretty cool. Otherwise good blog and thanks for raising awareness about money gram scams on the internet.

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  26. HI Peter,

    Finished with your book to enjoy the summer. So tempted to get the new iphone

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  27. The fact is that most guys who want to become “pickup artists”, really don´t need dating advise at first.

    They need advise on how to become more social, natural and comfortable in their own skin and daily interactions with people.

    Become real Men!

    Society has programmed them into some afraid, weak men, not having true role models to follow.

    The problems with learned cookie cutter routines is- if you aren´t CONGRUENT with the personality traits they convey – you will not be successful and you´ll become a “fake” person.

    In Daytime- you don´t need routines, canned opinion openers etc. etc.

    Club Environment- You are going to need routines , that are CONGRUENT with who you are ,
    and hopefully your own unique ones:)

    However, it is a surreal environment. The general frame is heavily against guys.

    There is loud music, heavy drinking, girls go there to get attention.

    If you decide to go there without at least 1-2 openers/routines-the odds are against you.

    The Pickup Artist are slowly getting the drift.

    You need to be congruent with everything you do, or you will burn.

    I believe day time(day game) is the ultimate way to go without the canned routines.

    Listen to big W :) The most sane advice I´ve heard in years.

    Z

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  28. Hey guys, Hey David,

    Greetings from Ireland!

    Great Blog again… Been away for while so just catching up on old blogs and found this one! Awesome points…

    I tried all that PUA stuff before coming across David’s stuff and found it wasn’t ME…. I found I was trying to become someone I’m not, which of course was picked up in my interactions with people and so didn’t have the results I was expecting (another downfall going into interactions with expectations – go in with no outcome and the outcome will always be better than anticipated!!) also when you go in with expectations, somehow our expectations are normally that it will go wrong! Get out of your head and into your heart and JUST DO IT!!! Don’t think, just do!

    Soback to the PUA stuff, after researching this stuff and not getting results I expected, I felt I had to find who I was and had to be that perfectly, good and bad! There’s only one of me so I have to be that perfectly… David you talked about the 80:20 rule in a blog previously (80% won’t have chemistry etc, 20% will) really hit home for me, i was always beating myself up on the 80% not working, and not focused on the 20% that did.. I’m sure if I focused on the 20%, this would increase dramatically!!!

    Also – with above – a thing I was thinking about today when I was coaching someone was that we’re “if then” people when we use Pick up techniques… IF she says this, THEN I will say this… IF she does this IOI, THEN I will do this etc…. you get the picture…. STOP!!! go in, have fun, listen, be present and enjoy the interaction! if the person you’re talking to is in the 80%, oh well!! At least you took a step out of your comfort zone and approached!! If they’re in the 20%, GREAT JOB!!! :)

    Looking forward to reading the more up to date blogs but in Ireland now it’s 23.54… time for bed!!! Tomorrow’s another day!

    Thanks David…

    Have a great day everyone and live with PASSION!!

    Philip

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  29. I think im still in some degree certain reaction seeker. Aint good.
    Anyway im allergic when someone is saying “game”. Word game is good for a players or freakin pua.
    And what is imporant what i found out, to FEEL GOOOOOOOOOOD. If you are feeling gooood attracting people is kinda effortlessly. People wanna be with you, in your company.
    But when you worried, sad or have in heart another bad emotions, people dont wanna stay with you. I heard even something like “When you laughing – whole world is laughing with you, when you crying – you crying alone.”

    Stay well, feel good and attract people! Have an amazing day you all !

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  30. I just got a very, very similar “remove your ad, my shipper will arrange pick-up from you, my certified check will arrive via Fed Ex” response from one and the same “LOE JOHN”. They must think we’re stupid.

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