Let’s Lose The Stereotypes
August 11, 2009 
25 Comments
I have been painted as one of the “pickup guys.” You hear things about men in general all the time. Men are always on the prowl looking for women. Men cheat on women. Men are only looking for sex. It’s funny how many stereotypes there are out there.
As all of you know and as you all can see, we’ve started to really change some of the focus here on the site. Not only are we trying to teach men how to meet women (and teaching them how to meet women in an authentic way), but we are teaching men how to have great relationships. We are teaching men how to connect with women more deeply when they start dating them. Â We are teaching men how to really please women sexually.
Women need to know that there are men who want to get married as much as women do, otherwise there wouldn’t be marriages. It’s funny how many women think men are “just after one thing,” when in reality so many men are after the same things women are: love, companionship and friendship. It’s just that men have been painted a different way.
So many of the stereotypes that are out there are just ridiculous. A lot of men think that women are just after them for their money . . . even the men who don’t have any money think women are after them just for their money.
Â
I think it’s time we really stopped with the stereotypes. I can tell you that men who have coached with me are men with whom I would set up my sister. The men I’ve coached are all men I would call friends of mine. We get some really good quality men in here.
It may be true that there are all sorts of men out there who just want to get laid. Guys who come here to this site, however, are guys who are looking to have relationships and to make deeper connections with women. So, ladies, let’s give them some credit.
And if any of the other type of guys are reading today’s blog…..then this video is for you.
This is so true – men are after the same things as women but it’s harder for men to admit that they are after love rather than just sex. I think that’s because there is pressure from society, and indeed other men, to just talk about sex and not to talk about their aspirations to a deep and fulfilling relationship. It just doesn’t make good pub banter.
omg……that video is money LOL
Jonathan- i agree what you have to say about society and also we get blamed for all the idiots out there who really think with their dick all the time:)
john- are you from u.k. just curious?
great blog to the point we get blamed for wanting sex all the time, i think women want it just as bad and more than us:)
Leo- thats the ugly truth!
hahahah CJ- have you see that movie by the way?
Leo-
yes i have good one funny as well you will like it.
have you seen it?
for some my last comment not posting?
anyhow sorry David to change the topic of the blog today but all readers here, you all got to check out the movie CJ and I are talking about, its just hysterical!
i haven’t seen it but the way you said it i have to check it out, especially since it portrays David and CJ:)
hahahah those guys on the car and your comments its too funny David
http://www.thetruthisntpretty.com/
Thanks for clarifying that some men aren’t just in it for the sex sex and sex, we want to feel loved, intimacy, and live a healthy lifestyle!
Hey Leo- long time no talk how are you doing buddy?
Rick-
Not so bad, been working a lot lately, finally had the chance to checkout the blog.
its a refreshment to be here and how are you doing?
That’s exactly what causes distrust in relationships that could’ve been amazing!
I think those stereotypes are self-reinforcing. They are not only what most women think about men, but also what most men think about themselves or about the way other men should behave.
Basically, men have the same range of feelings and desires that women have. But most of those are considered “unmanly” by society. Boys don’t cry!
And while girls spend a lot of time exploring their feelings and sharing with their friends, boys spend a lot of time fighting their feelings and denying them in front of their friends… up to the point where they are no longer in contact with their own feelings.
The desire for sex is one of the few feelings that is “allowed” for men for two obvious reasons. First because it is so strong that cannot be denied, and secondly because it is needed for procreation.
I think in order to become a “real man”, one needs to accept the full range of his own feelings and not be ashamed of them. But in order to accept them, we first need to get in touch with them again, which is not too easy.
Personally I find stereotypes are used when people don’t live in the moment. They predict the future with all their past knowledge and forget to just enjoy this moment and just see people for what they are right now.
As a girl we have a lot of stereotyping if we have sex with someone just because we feel like it, here men are hard on girls and right off the bat labels them as cheap. It boils down to honesty and being true to your word. I have no problems with a guy just wanting to have sex and not a relationship as long as he is honest about it.
But I have to say you still see more “mediocre/average” men with hot girls and not so much the other way around. Very few really hot/succesful men date/marry “mediocre/average” women. I hate even using these terms but not sure how else to explain. Afraid of sounding as if I stereotype there still seem to be a larger number of men wanting the “hot” girls and not looking at the whole person. As a girl I know I am attracted to how he makes me feel and how he treats me not how he looks.
Funny how Leo turned this into advertising The Ugly Truth.
The first thought that came to mind when I saw Gerald Butler’s character, I thought of David Wygant. [This is not meant to be an offense in any way]
Question:
Where’s the line between a white guy having an asian fetish, and a white guy just liking an asian girl for who she is?
Kismet,
You only will know by going out and getting to know him. Does he seem to appreciate you for your uniqueness or just for your race?
And as far as the blog topic goes… I like to look for intimacy… that feeling of love and connectedness and passion all at the same time.
Marina you may be right. In general, men are hardwired to be more visual than women. That is a different thing from saying that men want only sex.
And yes, you don’t see many average-looking women with hot guys, but likewise with women – you don’t see too many hot women with guys of average wealth or social status, unless the men are good looking too. Men will usually have something – finance, fame, or a dominating personality, to make up for their lack of looks.
Khiem:
But my race/ethnicity makes me unique to an extent until I have my individuality.
We’ve started asking eachother on dates and whatnot. I just don’t want to start thinking that he would think I’m the “erotic” or whatever asian girl stereotype people have made for asian women just because I am or can be comfortable with him. It’s all confusing but for now, no worries.
First let me say hello David to you and I really like the new look here.
Stereotypes….misconceptions….deceptions etc. They all fall under that same category of people who have a mind set due to society and A-typical closed mindedness.
I am so very happily divorced and thankfully not a bit bitter but a bunch better due to the fact.
If I were to go around carrying all the hurt one person on this planet inflicted upon me for 29 years? Well lets just say life would more than suck lol
There ARE good men out there. Women who are haters of the male population as a whole need to remeber…There are some real “B’s” in this walk of life who are out to use, abuse, acuse and totally misuse men. I see it…I hear it….I know it is a fact; a sad one at that.
So…before I write a book here lol I will end this rambleing by saying YES! Lets STOP with the stereotypical thought process and open ourselves up to reality…All men are not bad and need to watch out for the women who are;) I am a woman so it is appropriate for me to flag warning to be utilized by both parties XO