Congratulations, man. I’m so glad that you hooked up! You’ve got a great date coming up.
So, what are you going to do? Are you going to do the “same old same old” first date of going out to dinner where you watch each other chew across the table, swap resumes and then end the night wondering whether you should kiss her?
To me, dates are about exploring each other. I like to keep the first date very simple — a cup of coffee and some good conversation. Then I see where it goes from there.
I like to see how I feel after the first date. When I was dating, I always knew I had a great date if on the drive home I smiled when I thought about things she said, or if I woke up the next morning smiling about something she said.
When that happened, I’d always follow up the next day with her and express that same thought. I’d either text her or call and say, “You know, I was thinking more about what you said about the economy, and I really look forward to talking to you again. P.S. Had a great time last night.”
Talk about whatever really interested you about her. Bring that back up, because it shows that you actually listened, bonded with her and was interested in her.
It’s really all about getting to know somebody. So why add the pressure of a dinner date? If you don’t like each other after the first twenty minutes and the service is slow in the restaurant, you’re going to have to painfully sit there and stare at each other.
That’s not worth it. Have a quick meeting – a cup of coffee or tea – so that you can find out if you have any chemistry at all before paying through the roof for dinner for no reason.
So keep your first dates really simple. Then on your second date, be more creative.
Whatever you learned about her on the first date — whether it’s that she likes Thai food, that she hasn’t bowled in a long time or really enjoys art galleries — make the second date something related to something you learned about her on the first date. Do the same thing for the third date (creating it from something you learned on the second date).
Dating is about building momentum. Dating is about creating memories.
Nothing means more to me in my heart than my first three months with Sonja. I can remember every moment, every conversation and everything we did like it was yesterday.
It’s amazing, because you’re creating something that may last a lifetime. So by learning about each other, and by actually giving some extra thought to your dates, you may be able to look back with that person and say, “God, our first three months were so amazing!”
There is nothing more powerful than new love. Make it special with everybody you date, because that one amazing person is going to come through your life at some point and you better get good at dating and listening before they do!