Are You A Halloween Cockblocker
I’m just sitting here with Anthony right now – Anthony comes up here every Tuesday morning to hang out.
We’re just sitting here and my cell phone just went off. My ring tone happens to be Michael Myers – the theme song from the movie Halloween.
Anthony looked at me and said, “David, do you know what? Michael Myers is the ultimate cockblocker! Every time a couple is about to have hot sex (or they just finished with it) Michael Myers shows up and kills them!”
So, with Halloween coming up, the question is: who is the ultimate cockblocker?
First, there is Michael Myers, who shows up with his mask when the couple is supposed to be babysitting. You can see him, but the couple can’t, and they have sex like crazy and then Michael Myers comes out and kills one of them in the bathroom.
So Michael Myers either a) has never had sex before so he’s jealous of them and has to kill them, or b) is really a pervert and gets off on this whole thing. Perhaps to him the sex is the foreplay and the killing is the actual orgasm.
But let’s think about the other famous cockblockers in history this Halloween. What about Freddy Krueger?
Freddy Krueger used to mess with you too. You would never be able to have sex with your girlfriend, because he would nail you before you got the opportunity.
Do you remember Johnny Depp in the original Nightmare on Elm Street? He was just making out in bed, and then all of a sudden Freddy showed up and just took him. Freddy Krueger didn’t even allow you have sex before he got you.
What about Jason from Friday the 13th? Man, you’d finally get to sneak away with that hot and sexy camp counselor and you’d be banging her in the storage closet. It was great. And then she’d have to go pee, of course, after sex, and she’d be singing away in the bathroom.
And then, all of a sudden, Jason would come in behind you as you were lay in bed thinking of a hot round 2.
You’d say, “man, you came back from the bathroom quickly,” and then you’d hear the Jason music and he’d use a hatchet to cut you up into a million pieces.
It seems like there have been a lot of famous cockblockers out there in history. And with Halloween coming right around the corner, we have to know: who are the other famous cockblockers in horror movies? It seems like a staple of every horror movie is the world’s worst cockblocker.
When you’re out this Friday night and you think your friend is cockblocking you – or a girl is cockblocking you – think of that person as Michael Myers.
And the next time you’re talking a woman with a group of her friends and one of the friends cockblocks you, just look at her and picture her with a Halloween mask on and smile. Say to the cockblocker, “excuse me, do you know that you remind me of someone?”
She’ll say, “who?” And you can reply, “Michael Myers from Halloween.” And then tell the whole group this story. She will laugh her ass off! Have fun with this.
And let me know – who are some other famous modern day cockblockers?
October 14th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
The worst cockblocker is probably, someone who is related to the girl your “getting with”
They always seem to come back at the wrong time or just wont go away!!!
Ryan
October 14th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I thought of another good one lol. The thing blocking the cock is the confidence, but because of your teachings david, my penis is as free as free willy
Ryan
October 14th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Hahaha I might turn out to be a local cockblocker…lol…decided to wear a flirty outfit for halloween, and this story tells me that maybe i should wear some gothic outfit again like last year nyahahahah …
October 14th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Biggest cockblocker?
lol, I dunno… um… Whiskey dick?
October 14th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I came up with a date rating for movies after taking a date to see pulp fiction.
Sleepless in Seatle = Odds are good.
Pulp Fiction = no action after that date!
Simple yet effective!
October 14th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
i got to say chucky is also a huge cock blocker!
although he does make his own baby doll porn ;p
October 14th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Personally, my biggest cock blocker is me!!!
I’m my own biggest cock blocker when I start doubting myself or let my own monkey chatter take over me. Fortunately, that hasn’t happened in a long time… but still… you are always our biggest cock blocker.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Khiem monkey chatter? My hero dreams are crashing down ahhh. Heheh, good thing it hasn’t happened in awhile.
Your right, it is yourself, unless your with “Mr. Sidebuster” all the time.
October 15th, 2008 at 1:51 am
lol Khiem so true. hard to really understand how our minds are wired by us to actually avoid sex as much as possible. And then most of us fight an uphill battle to get it. We really shouldnt be surprised with the results sometimes.
October 15th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Not into scrarey movies, but I thought the the movie “Meet the Flockers” had a great scene where the father-in-law to be has the “talk” with Ben Stiller’s character. My Dad used to do the same thing. I hated when he did that! Also, “Uncle Buck” had John Candy as the uncle “pursuading” the character “Bug” not to touch the neice. Candy was holding an ax at the time… a great scene. On that 70’s show, Eric Foreman pictures dead puppies to keep his package wrapped… I know when the kids come home early unexpectedly, that’s a real mood buster.
Note to all of you young adult bloggers, sex just gets better with age and experience. Stay healthy, mentally and physically. You’ll be so glad you did. To David, awesome blog; I’m so glad I found it! At 50 and new at today’s dating world, your advice is just as valuable at this age as it is for younger people. I am enjoying dating so much more and learning useful skills for dating from your blogs…
I’ve calmed down about it all, and as a result it seems I am getting more attention than ever, and all I have to be is happy little me. Like me or don’t, it’s all good. Either way I will be a happy and honest person, and continue on and not take rejection personally. Thanks David for the good words! Life is awesome!