Today lets talk about flexing your emotional muscles. When you need to stand up to a man or you need to really voice your opinion to a man. Emotional muscles. I want to describe a scenario between two men.
The other day, I changed plans on a friend of mine, a male friend.
He was upset but didn’t say a word about it.
He called me back the next day and he said, listen, “we’ve been friends a long time and we will always be friends a long time. You’re my best friend.
What you did yesterday didn’t really work for me and it hurt my feelings.”
I apologized. He then said to me:
“We’re done, lets move forward.”
The emotional muscles were never really stretched here.
When men have conflict in their lives they duke it out one or two ways. One, a quick conversation.
Or some of the barbarian men will actually have a fist fight.
But women, well, when you’re up against a man…
The only way you really feel like you can get to him is to become an emotional bully.
You’re not going to punch a guy.
Because the man, hopefully, unless he’s a lumbersexual, is bigger and stronger than you.
So your only chance at defending yourself when you get super-frustrated with him is to emotionally beat him up.
You’ll attack him with words.
You’ll pin him in the corner with words where he feels like he needs to get the quickest James Bond eject seat and get the hell out of there fast.
Nothing makes a man more uncomfortable than being beaten up with words.
There’s something about it that just is so hard for us to handle.
When we’re attacked with emotional words, when we’re confronted about things that we did six months ago. When we’re asked point blank why we’re not loving like we used to be.
I am giving you examples right now but you get the point.
When you emotionally attack a man with words, you’ll pin him in the corner and you’ll never get the outcome that you want. Because when a man is being emotionally vomited on and emotionally attacked, he will look for the nearest man cave he can find.
It might be the kids closet at the party that he’s at.
He might hide out in the kitchen.
He might hide out in the backyard.
He might just take a walk around the block.
The thing is, women emotionally bully men when they get really frustrated.
You know that. Your conversation that you should have had with him months ago you did not have, so you waited and hoped that things would change because you are one of the greatest cheerleaders in the entire world. You’re constantly hoping that a man is going to be the man that you want them to be in the story that your brain, mind, and heart are trying to all convince yourself that he is.
So you get really frustrated, and when you get frustrated instead of taking it out physically as men will do, you’ll take it out emotionally on a man and you’ll literally attack him with words.
The man will try to defend himself, the problem is the words will come flying out of your mouth so fast there’s no way in the world they can defend themselves because you’re wired emotionally differently than we are. The second you vomit all the emotional attack on us, we can’t do anything.
We sit there and we almost go blank.
We try to answer your question, but then you keep coming at us more and more again with the same question over and over again because the answer we’re giving you never satisfies you because you’ve kept these emotions inside and didn’t talk about them or communicate them when they came up.
So here we are sitting there in the corner, taking the emotional punches left and right, and all we’re thinking about is:
Man, I’ve got to text my friend, he’s got to go pick me up and where the hell is the Uber.
So how do you not do that? Because it doesn’t work.
Having a discussion with a man when things come up works. Getting frustrated and then emotionally attacking him or becoming an emotional bully never works because that’s the downfall of any relationship. So what’s the solution here.
The solution is fairly simple. When something comes up, instead of thinking things will be different, and instead of thinking that you’ve talked about this stuff with the man before but you’re waiting for him to make the changes. If the man is not making the changes it means he forgot about it because he’s like a dog and he lives in the moment.
So when anything comes up instead of letting it escalate so you’re having these incredible emotional outbursts all over the man…
Just talk about things when they come up, calmly, securely, communicate. Because really that’s what its all about. Simple communication when things come up will stop you from being the emotional bully that sometimes women get to be.