We had a great conversation the other night while out to dinner with an old friend of mine. It was a conversation that made me realize something interesting. Men have mid-life crises all the time.

They go and stuff their big bellies into little tiny sports cars that make them look like they are sardines. They go out and get a young version of their already hot wife because they want an even younger version. They may even hire a hot secretary during their mid-life crisis to help them to feel sexy again.

Whatever a man’s mid-life crisis entails, men seem to be allowed to have one. Men are, to some extent, even expected to have a mid-life crisis of some sort. Men themselves feel entitled to one.

People will even comment about it matter-of-factly when it’s a man. They’ll say things like, “He bought that sports car because he is having a mid-life crisis” or “He dyed his gray hair black because he’s going through a mid-life crisis.”

Men are allowed to have a mid-life crises. They are allowed when they get divorced to have a mid-life crisis and date a 22 year-old whose vocabulary primarily consists of the words “awesome” and “dude.” (No offense to any of you 22 year-old women out there).

My question is this: What about the women? Why can’t they have a mid-life crisis?

Women who do have a mid-life crisis are usually called “cougars.” So let me get this straight. Women are animals because they have a mid-life crisis?

When women go out and buy a fancy sports car, all the men look at them and think, “That’s a cougar.” With a man, it’s not only allowed but expected. What about the woman who is married and has three kids who decides she doesn’t love her husband (aka “the supporter”) anymore.

For any of you who don’t know what a “supporter” is, it’s the sucker who married the hot woman who really didn’t love him and just wanted his money. The supporter is usually a manipulator and a control freak (among other things). If any of you supporters are reading it, you know who you are – so don’t deny it.

Usually women who have a mid-life crisis are ones who married a supporter – a guy to whom they were not really attracted in the first place — and then all of a sudden realize they are aging but still look good. So they want a second chance at something, which might be love or passion or something else.

When a woman has this instinct and acts upon it, she is deemed to have abandoned her family. In reality, what’s happened is that the woman is sick and tired of the supporter and realizes that maybe she has grown a little bit personally.

Women are entitled to their mid-life crisis. So to them, I say “Go for it” Women do not automatically become cougars just because they have a mid-life crisis. They are just going through the exact same thing men are.

Go to Orange County on any given day and take a look at the way some of those women dress who are in their 50s. They dress exactly like their daughter (or like they both bought all of their clothes from Forever 21).

They’re not ‘Forever 21.’ They are ‘constantly approaching 60.’ Maybe that should be a store for women having a mid-life crisis and we’d call it “Constantly Approaching 60.”

That way you can buy a replica of your daughter’s wardrobe at double the price. It’s like the opposite of what I tell my skinny Asian clients, i.e., that they can buy clothes in the boys department and get the same stuff at half the price.

Anyway, women are entitled to their mid-life crisis. Men do it all the time. I mean, salaries are getting more equal and life is more equal, so why can’t mid-life crises be equal as well.

So the next time any of you young guys screw a women who is a cougar, why don’t you just tell the truth? Say, “I had great sex with this woman who is going through her mid-life crisis and wanted an emotionally immature man who basically can f*^k her all night long.”