I want to talk to you today about something that I think is very important. Something that you need to hear and learn.

Life is just a big science experiment.

I get emails from all of you saying that you wish you knew this stuff when you were younger.

I get emails from guys in their 30s that say, “If I only knew this 17 years ago, I wouldn’t have done all of the things I did.”

I get emails from women that say, “I’ve been in so many relationships, I just wish I knew the answer right now so I can do everything right.”

We’ve been trained to do things right since we were little kids.

Think about how screwed up school really is.

You’re in preschool. You’re bouncing around. You’re having fun. You’re drawing nice things.

You’re in kindergarten. You’re still allowed to have fun; then all of the sudden, you’re in the first grade.

All of a sudden, it’s all about doing things right. Your teacher says something and that’s the right way to do it. You do homework and you’ve got to do it right. If you don’t do it right, you’re graded poorly.

As you get older, you’re made to feel stupid if you don’t do things right. You get frustrated.

You’re trained to do everything right.

There is No Right or Wrong

life is a science experimentIt’s time to realize there isn’t a right or wrong. I know, right now your brain is probably triggering, “But David, that’s not true. You can’t just go and pull a gun and shoot somebody. That’s wrong right there.”

There are things that are wrong, like being mean and being cruel, shooting somebody or killing somebody. Sure, those are the obvious, but it comes down to your decisions in life.

Like dating somebody or not dating somebody, or being shy for a period of time.

Or having a series of relationships in your 20s that go absolutely nowhere. Each one ends up falling apart like the last one until you finally figure out what you’re all about.

There’s no right or wrong. You see, if I traveled back in time and saw the 20-year-old version of myself or the 25-year-old version of myself, I would probably say to them, “Yeah, you’re going to mess up a lot. All these women that you’re dating are so wrong for you, but you’ve got to figure it out.”

Everything that we do, we do because we’re meant to do what we’re supposed to do. Our life’s journey is exactly where it’s supposed to be and our life’s journey is exactly where it is.

No right. No wrong.

Just Go With It

Whatever you’re going through right now, you’re meant to go through. You’re meant to go through it for as long as you go through it.

As you’re going through it, you’re frustrated because you don’t want to be exactly where you are.

You want to do things right.

Or you want to do things like your friend, Joe.

Or your friend, Mary.

But in reality, it is what it is. You can’t change your path. You can only realize that your path is your path.

You have to embrace your script. You have to realize that there is no right or wrong. You have to be kinder to yourself.

I can go through the perpetual should have, would have, could haves in my life.

I made so many decisions and some of them didn’t work out the way I wanted. But I made a decision and that’s all I could do.

You see, all we have the power to do every single day is make a decision. That’s it. We never know what the outcome is going to be from that decision because we can’t control an outcome.

I know as human beings, we’ve been trained that there is the right or wrong way, that how we get brought up through our school system and our parents means that we wish we can control the outcome.

Every day, I hear people say, “I’m only going to text this person if they definitely go out with me. I won’t ask them out if the outcome isn’t likely; I’m just not going to bother.”

You know how many times I’ve invited people along on trips? Asked people to do things? Asked and not expected an outcome.

It’s not about the other person, it’s about yourself. It’s about being authentic. You can’t control anything.

You can get on the phone right now and book a trip to Hawaii. You can think to yourself how great it would be to go with this woman you met. You can overanalyze the whole situation, start thinking to yourself, I wonder if she’ll go, I wonder if she’ll think I’m crazy if I invite her. But when you arrive in Hawaii, you’re by yourself. You’re still thinking about why you didn’t invite her.

You see, I live my life this way. Without fear, without second-guessing. That’s what the Fearless Code is all about. If I feel like going to Hawaii, or if I feel like doing something or inviting somebody along, I just do it. I’m not thinking about how they’re going to react.

I’m not thinking about what they’re going to think.

I’m just doing what I do. I’m not leaving life on the table, because once again, an outcome is something we can’t control.

There is no right or wrong.

Life is Just One Big Science Experiment

Once you understand that, you’ll start being softer and kinder to yourself. You will start to feel better about your decisions, because everything in life is just experimenting.

If we knew what an outcome was going to be, life would be far easier, but that’s what makes life fun – the unknown, the mystery. It’s going into the science lab of life every single day and saying, “I’m just going to experiment and be okay with it.”

To quote a really great movie – Risky Business, starring Tom Cruise – there’s a scene where he thinks he’s no longer going to go to Princeton because the Princeton guy who came and interviewed him, well, interviewed him in the middle of a party that he was throwing with hookers, getting all his friends laid for the very, very first time.

At that moment, Cruise’s character, Joel, was all neurotic and anxious and he thought he just blew his chance to go to Princeton.

His best friend, Miles, looked at him and said, “Joel, sometimes you need to say what the fuck.”

In life, every single day, tap into your inner Joel, your inner Miles, realize it’s just a science experiment.

And say to yourself, what the fuck, I’m just going to do it and be okay with it.