Recently, a friend of mine from Europe wrote me a great email. Now, he’s a confident, good-looking guy who really understands the power of his mind and his attitude. He sent me something this morning that really resonated with me, and I’m going to call it “Be The Selector.”
Most men will go to the bar, find a position, stand there, drink some booze, and hope either the right woman walks by so they can talk to her, or that they get up enough liquid courage to walk over and talk to someone. Does this sound familiar so far??
This same man will also wait for the hot woman to be near them and then they will commit the number one cardinal sin. They will buy her a drink and she will of course spend the obligatory 2 minutes with him and then walk away. Only to be seen 30 minutes later sucking face with a dude in the corner sipping the drink you bought her.
As the night progresses, the women will be hit on more and more by different guys using the same boring approach. A guy will be standing there at the bar waiting his turn. Once he finally figures out what to say (which he thinks is so clever and original), it is really the exact same thing all the other guys have been saying. The guy finally gets his turn, and he gets shot down even quicker than the other guys. Why does he get shot down quicker? Because she’s already heard what he’s trying on her, and her patience is at a night time low for all the un-clever banter that’s been brought over to her.
Not only is this something that men do, but men will repeat this over and over every Friday night hoping that this will work one time. They might as well send the 100 dollars they spend in the bar to a charity, at least then the money will be put to good use.
When you learn the power of being the selector, you are now different than every other guy who wishes they were selected. Women feel your lack of confidence right when you walk over to her. Women smell a routine a mile away. Let’s talk about a routine.
There are good routines and bad routines. What makes the difference between a good routine and a bad routine?
A bad routine usually has the man talking nonstop. Because he’s so nervous and he doesn’t want even a moment of silence, he becomes the “routine man.” He’s either telling a story or asking a question, but he never listens to her response to know what to say next.
Plus, a bad routine will only work on drunk 22 year old club girls, and when you think you have a potential date with them you’ll find out when you call that she either a) gave you a wrong number or b) all you get is a voice mail and no phone call back.
For every 10 times the typical guy uses a routine on drunk girls at a bar, the odds of getting a phone number is 20%, and then the odds of getting a date is 5%…
Think about those numbers for a second.
This means in order to get a date, the typical guy has to talk to twenty girls, so 4 of them will give him their numbers, and only 1 of them will agree to go out with you.
Think about how long that takes, and how terrible those odds are.
A routine guy will brag about all the numbers he gets, the reason why is because he knows that the majority of women that he gets a number of will never turn into a date.
Do you want to be a routine guy so you can brag to your friends about all the numbers you get?
Or do you desire to be a Selector, a man that not only gets the number but she can’t wait for him to call. Not only that, when you are a Selector a woman will actually chase you.
Lets talk further about how a Selector makes this happen.
A selector will walk over to a group of women with a very clever opener that will get them speaking and competing for his attention. For instance, you’re in a bar and three women are standing there. They’ve already rejected two or three guys. A routine guy will walk over with the same routine that those last guys did. A selector will walk over with a purpose – he is going to get every woman intrigued by him.
One of my favorite openers in a bar is “the text opener.” I will have my friend text this into my phone: “Hmmm . . . Last night was really interesting. What are you doing later? 🙂 ”: With this in your phone, you need a back story, which is you went out with this woman the night before, had a glass of wine, and said goodnight without any kiss. So you approach the group of three women, and you ask them “Can I have your opinion on something? Before I show you what I need your opinion on, I need to tell you the back story.” Then you explain to them about the date the night before. And then? . . . Then the fun begins.
You pass them the phone, and every one of them will have a comment. Within three to five minutes, you will find out about their booty call rules and their dating habits. The key to making this work is to listen. If girl #1 says “She’s booty calling you,” you need to challenge her and say “Is that what you do when you booty call a guy?”
As all of you know, I’m not a big routine guy. Everything I teach is all about observation and being present in the moment so you can connect with women.
But bars are a different ball game, and a lot of women when they go to a bar are very guarded. Truthfully, I don’t blame them. If I was out on a Friday night and everybody looked at me like a piece of meat on a grill, and all that was missing was the A1 Sauce, I can see how they begin to get this way.
Now I know women right now are reading this and thinking “Why do men have to play games and use routines?” The reason is obvious. Most women don’t make themselves available when they go out on a Friday night. They hover in packs, and barely make any eye contact with men. So we feel like we have to come up with something to say to get your attention . . . and “hello” just doesn’t seem to cut it.
So in order to become the selector, you also have to be able to be unique and different. Selectors may have little routines from time to time, but the key is not what you say . . . it’s how you say it and listening. If you listen, you will become the selector.
Try this out in a bar and you will realize that women will not only find this entertaining and fun, but different. Not only that, by saying you went out on a date and then having them see what’s in that text, they will wonder what you said on an hour date that made her text you at 10:00 pm on a Friday night.
A friend of mine used this approach on a group of women out for a work function, and all the women in the group wanted him after that. One walked by and let her business card fall. Another one met him at the bathroom. The one he initially spoke to when he walked over to the group called him twenty minutes after he left the bar. They all became hookups for him.
It’s all about confidence, and not worrying about what you look like or what happens if you get turned down. The more you talk to women, the greater chance of success you’ll have. In my friend’s email he said “I’ve stopped chatting them up, because it always works and I have no time anymore for all these women.”
The power of being the selector is within you. Women desire the man who selects them . . . not the man who begs them. Time for you to kick ass, and start learning how to listen and attract all the women you desire!