I talk a lot about being in the moment.

If you’re not in the moment, if you’re constantly thinking about what to say, what to do, and evaluating how to do it, then you’re going to miss the moment.

In life, thinkers tend to never get laid.

The reason why they never get laid is because they’re constantly thinking.

Go on a date. She’s been talking for four minutes. Her lips are moving, but the words are not gracing his ears because he’s contemplating what the next move is, or when the sex is going to happen, or when he should take her back to the house.

Women are in the moment. They live for the moment. They crave that romantic moment.

So when do you reflect? When do you think about all these things? Here’s my advice to you:

Keep a journal. Call it your Monkey Journal, full of all your thoughts. When you’re with a woman on a date, listen very carefully to what she says. If you start getting in your head, say to yourself, “I’m in my head right now” and excuse yourself.

Go to the bathroom, come back, and get connected with her.

If you’re going to approach a woman for the very, very first time, make that observation, speak a word, and listen very carefully to what she says, so you can segway into a conversation.

Do your brain dump at home at night. Keep a journal. In your journal, write down all your thoughts—your crazy thoughts, your wild thoughts, whatever. The more you get your thoughts out of your head, the more present you become.

Most people have no outlet to get rid of all their thoughts. So what they do is they have their thoughts consistently running through their minds.

And also realize one other thing, when you’re out in public meeting people, it’s only a 10 or 15 minute window. That’s all it ever is.

So just concentrate for 10 or 15 minutes. That’s all you’ve got to do. You were able to do it in school for 10 or 15 minutes before the teacher got boring. You’re able to do it at work before you’ve got to go take a water cooler break.

So break your life down into 10 to 15 minute intervals, and realize all you have to do is be 100% present for 10 or 15 minutes.

If you’re a bad dater and you have trouble connecting with women on dates, make your dates shorter. Make them coffee dates. Make them dates that have timelines. That way then, the first date is an hour. The second date is 90 minutes. Third is two hours. So that way you can slowly get comfortable with that person.

It’s all about getting comfortable and learning how to be present in the moment, and getting rid of the barrel of monkeys that are in your head.

All of my favorite ways to get rid of that monkey chatter and make her desire you can be found here: