We have been all about talking about the Bars in recent Friday blogs. So to stay with that new tradition lets talk all about the lurkers best friend Mr Shot Buyer.

Are you the shot buyer? That’s my favorite guy to watch when I go to a bar.

You walk into a bar and there he is. You’re standing next to this guy who says to everyone around him, “You guys want a shot?”

He’s always in a group of a few guys who are basically laughing at all of his jokes because he is a fun, jovial guy. He’s the shot buyer. He’s the guy who is buying drinks for people all night long.

So whenever women come around his general direction, he is always buying them a drink. He’ll say things like, “Come on girls, I’ll buy you a drink (or a shot)” or “Do a shot with me.”

Wheres Bill

The shot buyer is always a really nice guy. The problem is that getting people drunk usually doesn’t mean you’re going to connect with them.

You’re the fun guy. You’re the mixologist. You’re the party guy.

In reality, though, a lot of women don’t want to hang out with the shot buyer. They don’t want to hang out with the party guy. You’re fun for about ten or fifteen minutes.

When you get to a certain point in your life — when you’re 35 or 40 years old — you don’t really want to be the shot guy anymore. Women aren’t looking at you as the fun guy at this point. They are looking at you and wondering if you’re ever going to outgrow your college years.

Being the shot guy at 22 or 24 years old makes you the fun guy. You are a blast. You are the guy everyone calls and curses the next morning because they are so hungover from all the shots you bought them.

When you’re a bit older and you’re still the shot guy, however, it is probably the reason you are not meeting quality women. Most women can’t and don’t want to be drinking as much as you do.

So look deeper, Mr. Shot Buyer, and tell me if you’re REALLY happy buying everybody another round — or whether this behavior is masking a general disappointment in how you feel about your social life.

When you find that person you are like, take some time and watch ‘yourself.’ See how you act. See how you come off to people. See how people respond to you.

If you are not successful in a bar, then you probably are a lurker. So go ahead and watch ‘yourself’ as the lurker — watch a fellow lurker so you understand why you are not having much success.

Connecting with women is very simple. Make an observation, react, talk about the observation further. Speak with clarity, conviction and confidence. It is no different in a bar than anywhere else.

I don’t write about bars that often, but in reality they are a blast. They are a blast when you understand the dynamics of human communication. If you are a lurker, though, you don’t get it yet.

So look in the mirror. If you are a lurker, admit it and go seek medical help. Okay, you probably don’t need medical help — but you do need to seek my help!