Every single day people think they’re experts. They give bad advice over and over and over again, to friends, family members, and everything.

The countless parents who think they’re parenting experts just because they have a child or two.

The person who’s a love expert just because they’re in a marriage that’s actually sort of working.

The person who’s a sex expert because they, well, have great sex.

The person who’s a finance expert because, well, they’ve saved some money.

We are people, we have opinions, and we are not experts, for at least 3 reasons.

#1: Outliers

There is a great book called Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. Outliers is a book which literally says that people become experts at something when they actually do something 10,000 or more hours.

Where they actually go and communicate, and talk, and work on something, it becomes something that is more than anything that they ever imagined.

You’re an outlier when you’ve actually worked on your craft, you’ve gone to school, you’ve trained, you’ve gone and counseled people, whatever it might be, that’s when you’re a real expert.

But there’s so many fake experts out there.

Especially when it comes down to parenting.

You know why I can say that?

Because I’ve seen so many people who claim to be wonderful parents.

Claim to be incredible parents.

Have kids who are decent kids.

But then, once you spend a little time with them, you could see exactly how they’re screwing up their kids.

Nobody’s a parenting expert at all. Parenting is something that you’ve never done before. You can read every single article. You can read things, you can write about things, you can do all this stuff, but in reality, you’re not an expert. You didn’t go to school, you didn’t learn how to deal with kids for 10,000 hours.

You’re not a parenting expert. But yet there are so many people who think they are. Even when I’m having issues with my kid, I turn to my friends and we have discussions about it. They give me their opinion and their feedback, but you know what they always say at the end of it?

Talk to a counselor. Talk to somebody who’s seen the situation unfold thousands and thousands of times before. Go talk to an expert about it, because this is just my opinion.

That’s what I love about my friends. My friends are humble people. My friends are people that are no going to give bad advice just because they have a belief.

Which leads us to number two:

#2 You’re Not a Dating Expert, Either

Wow, all you so-called experts on dating and relationships, you’re in mediocre relationships and you give dating advice. You’re married and give dating advice to your single friend and you haven’t been single for 25 years. You’re not an expert, it’s been a long time since you’ve dated, so stop giving your friends bad advice. Tell your friend, look, I don’t really know what I’m doing, I’m here to listen.

I’m here to support you. But if you want some real advice, go to an expert, somebody who can give you a non-biased opinion on how you’re conducting your life so you’re able to move forward. Which leads us to number three.

#3: Experts are worth the money because you actually learn something

Because in order to be an expert at something, you have to reach out to experts and get all these different opinions and viewpoints. You see, some of these so-called experts from parenting to marital to relationships, you have a narrow viewpoint. The viewpoint is your own and you want to believe because you have a narcissistic way of looking at things, or you’re just not really very open to other people’s opinion, you want to believe that you’ve read and you’ve educated yourself, and well, you’re an expert.

But a true expert is somebody that every single day realizes that there’s someone else they can speak with, and a true expert actually listens to other people’s opinions. And a true expert actually forms new opinions every day. You see opinions grow and they evolve and they change.

That’s what a true expert is all about. Somebody who’s constantly evolving and changing. I’m so tired of the so-called experts that I’ve spoken with. I’m so tired of people who think they’re something that they’re not. Talk to a real expert and really listen and open your ears, and watch how all of a sudden your so-called expertise starts to evolve into a whole new expertise.