So I’m looking for a new place to live.

And I’ve got to tell you something:

The crap—no pun intended—that I’ve been looking at for the price range that I want to spend in Los Angeles is ridiculous.

It makes me think to myself, “Why am I staying here exactly?”

Oh yeah, the weather, the people, the stories, and my entourage of course.

So I’ve been driving around with my wonderful real estate agent, trying to find a place to live. And I said to her, “Give me an idea for a blog.”

So she asked, “When do guys think it’s okay to fart in a relationship?”

Hmm.

That’s a great question. When is it okay to let the poof-poof out of the tush-tush? Or as we might say in Fartville, when is it okay to start farting? When is it okay to sit at the sofa and let one just rip out?

Well, we’re men—we think it’s okay all the time.

Now, most men—and you’ve got to admit it, all of you—think it’s funny when you fart. I know you do.

You enter an elevator and fart, and you see people make those little funny motions with their nose and stuff like that. I know you think it’s funny.

How about when you’re in an airplane and you just let one rip? And you know it smells and you know it’s you.

Men are wired as animals. We are no different than chimpanzees in the zoo. We think farts are cool, we think farts are fun.

But the problem is, most women are just not fart savvy. They don’t really enjoy that little toot-toot out of the butt-butt. They would prefer that you become, oh, let’s say “classy”. Let’s just say a little less farty and a little more open.

Or less open. J

So, when is the right time to fart in a relationship? When is it okay to just let one out, let one rip?

I’d like to hear from all the women today in the blog. When is it okay for a man to fart? Because we can’t keep it clogged up forever. It’s our rite of passage; it’s the way of being a man.

And the fact of the matter is, we do think it’s funny.

So, how long do we need to keep the cork in the ass?